Stalker alert

Anthonylfc

was on pof ( i know i know ) a while back and some girl mailed me ( i wasnt into her at all ) so i used the old chestnut ( im just after a casual hook up ) hoping she'd go " oh ok " and move on

ohhhh but no

she starts mailing me quotes of my profile , and getting nasty and personal

i had a pic of me and my daughter on my profile ( daughters face blurred out ) and she then accused me of being a weird freak as i had a pic of my daughter when looking for hookups , but thats just what i told her to get her to politely fook off

she kept getting nasty ( i actually should have just blocked her , but i engaged for some reason , lesson learnt )

so we abused each other verbally for a bit etc

then boom im booted off pof ( no probs with that , its uesless anyway )

but then i get a phonecall from my brother , the wench only went and put my pics up on facebook and only parts of the convo that she wanted people to see , not one bit of her slagging me , i threatened the police and it was taken down

anytime i now go on pof ( new account ) she is one of the first to view me then boom im blocked again , on match.com she was there again , boom im blocked ( but i wasnt even a paid member on that so couldnt offend anybody cause i cant send messages ) , basically she is not the full deck of cards

how do i sort this ? i've threathened the gaurds etc , but she keeps just reporting me for the sake of it now and its tiring

leggo

This is a consequence, not a vendetta, OP. This girl does sound a bit mental, true, but also you engaged in this and gave a mental person ammo to use against you. That's on you tbh.

As for what you do now...I really doubt the Gardaí are going to get involved in someone having another person kicked off POF. That's not a crime. She's not harassing you because she's not engaging in unwanted contact. I'd try Tinder or Bumble instead. If you absolutely have to use POF, see if you find her first (I assume you know her username?), then you might be able to block her before she can see you.

And take the lesson you've learned here. What good is there to be gained from getting into slagging matches with strangers? There's two of you in it: she's mental but you come across a bit scummy too. You didn't argue the legitimacy of the pictures she shared so they were words that you used and, even if there's not a lot of context, people are judging you based on stuff you DID say. That makes you victim complex here a bit tenable in truth. So take responsibility for that, be a better person in future and go from there.

Arrival

In future just be straightforward and honest, "sorry, I'm not interested". By doing this you're making it completely clear and saving the person time that they can use to pursue someone who is interested. If an adult can't handle that then that's their issue, not yours, and don't engage much further than that.

Dial Hard

Arrival wrote:

In future just be straightforward and honest, "sorry, I'm not interested".

Honestly, in future just don't reply to people you've no interest in. Even a "Thanks but no thanks" message is opening a dialogue you don't want to be in.

Believe me, I've been around the online dating block. Just ignore the people you're not into.

punisher5112

Op take a break away from these sites and leave her off.

anewme

leggo wrote: »

And take the lesson you've learned here. What good is there to be gained from getting into slagging matches with strangers? There's two of you in it: she's mental but you come across a bit scummy too. You didn't argue the legitimacy of the pictures she shared so they were words that you used and, even if there's not a lot of context, people are judging you based on stuff you DID say. That makes you victim complex here a bit tenable in truth. So take responsibility for that, be a better person in future and go from there.

Yep using "wench" is enough for me in normal speak. Can only imagine what tyoe of language OP would class as abuse.

Anthonylfc

anewme wrote: »

Yep using "wench" is enough for me in normal speak. Can only imagine what tyoe of language OP would class as abuse.

<snip> wench is a bad word?

and trust me if i put up 100 % of the story you would see how lenient i am being here

also don't want to put up all info incase she happens to frequent this site

Muckka

What's her user name ?
Sounds like a right head the ball.

Anthonylfc

Muckka wrote: »

What's her user name ?
Sounds like a right head the ball.

like a bit of bunny boiling do ye

woodchuck

Mod note:

That's enough off-topic chat please.

OP please do not provide any identifying information such as her username.

anewme

Anthonylfc wrote: »

my god you are a fool if you think wench is a bad word

and trust me if i put up 100 % of the story you would see how lenient i am being here

also don't want to put up all info incase she happens to frequent this site

You re right not to put up any identifying information.

Calling a woman a wench is just a skanger thing to do.

In addition, fact that you think its ok to call someone you don't know a fool says more about yourself and is really quite telling as to how you probably ended up in this predicament.

Mr. Incognito

Congratulations- You have learnt a life lesson

Block and do not engage with people on dating sites you are not interested in.

You seem to be taking it personally that she has blocked youon other sites- why are you looking to contact her there?

I'd be interested to hear her side of the story.

SusieBlue

When you say blocked OP, do you mean blocked by the woman (which would be doing you a favour) or is your account getting banned by POF so you can't chat/interact with others?

punisher5112

I took it as he is getting banned on all these sites due to her complaints.

He needs to just get away from such sites for a while and let her off and she will most likely latch onto someone else.

wiggle16

punisher5112 wrote: »

I took it as he is getting banned on all these sites due to her complaints

I thought this too but I would think that's quite hard to do, multiple times. Websites generally only ban users where they breach their terms of service (every user = more advert cash)... so is she blocking you, OP, or is the site banning you?

And how do you know she's blocking you/getting you banned, whatever the case may be.

Flippyfloppy

Perhaps your ip was blocked by the site in the first place

Anthonylfc

SusieBlue wrote: »

When you say blocked OP, do you mean blocked by the woman (which would be doing you a favour) or is your account getting banned by POF so you can't chat/interact with others?

getting banned

id never reply to her now

amazing the amount of do gooders here on their moral horses

Anthonylfc

wiggle16 wrote: »

I thought this too but I would think that's quite hard to do, multiple times. Websites generally only ban users where they breach their terms of service (every user = more advert cash)... so is she blocking you, OP, or is the site banning you?

And how do you know she's blocking you/getting you banned, whatever the case may be.

because i've not actually had a bad word to say to other members etc

i sign up , she views my profile and boom , few mins later i'm kicked off the site

wouldn't be the first time a site sides with a woman

she has alot of negative stuff on her profile , even pictures of other not so nice convo's she's had with diff guys , not sure what she is hoping to get from that tbh

btw i'm no saint ( who is ) and if i was in the wrong i'd actually apologise , but this one is hellbent on making any man who turns her down pay

SusieBlue

Anthonylfc wrote: »

getting banned

id never reply to her now

amazing the amount of do gooders here on their moral horses

Well then there must be more to the story because they wouldn't go site banning your IP just because of a personal issue you had with one other member.

They can see your activity so there must be a reason you are the one who is banned and not her.
If there was a pair of you in it you would both be banned and not just you, so you must not be disclosing all the facts.

Anthonylfc

SusieBlue wrote: »

Well then there must be more to the story because they wouldn't go site banning your IP just because of a personal issue you had with one other member.

They can see your activity so there must be a reason you are the one who is banned and not her.
If there was a pair of you in it you would both be banned and not just you, so you must not be disclosing all the facts.

obviously im not disclosing facts on here as cause if i did and she was on here , then i'd be screwed

we both slagged each other , simple

both as bad as each other , i moved on , she hasnt

bitter twisted woman

SusieBlue

Anthonylfc wrote: »

obviously im not disclosing facts on here as cause if i did and she was on here , then i'd be screwed

we both slagged each other , simple

both as bad as each other , i moved on , she hasnt

bitter twisted woman

If ye were as bad as each other, no action would have been taken, or ye both would have been banned.
You must have either instigated the whole thing on that site (after what she posted elsewhere) or gone OTT to say you are the one who is being banned.

She is just a regular member just like you, its not like she has special powers that can get you banned from all sites without justification. There must be a reason.

Anthonylfc

SusieBlue wrote: »

If ye were as bad as each other, no action would have been taken, or ye both would have been banned.
You must have either instigated the whole thing on that site (after what she posted elsewhere) or gone OTT to say you are the one who is being banned.

She is just a regular member just like you, its not like she has special powers that can get you banned from all sites without justification. There must be a reason.

wish i knew

god knows what story she concocted when complaining to get me banned

i didnt bother trying to get her banned as im not that petty

SusieBlue

Anthonylfc wrote: »

wish i knew

god knows what story she concocted when complaining to get me banned

i didnt bother trying to get her banned as im not that petty

They won't listen to a story, they will have looked at your PM exchanges and used those to make up their minds.

Same as here, I couldn't message a Boards mod and be like "*** is an awful b*tch, she did this, that and the other".
They aren't going to go banning someone on my say so just because I have issues with them elsewhere, be it online or IRL.
Unless I had evidence she was breaking site rules or going against the forum charter it would be irrelevant.

What you said and did must have broken the rules and that's why you are the one who is site banned.
I believe you when you say ye were as bad as each other, but my guess is that you were the one to instigate it (because of what she posted elsewhere) so you are the one who is going to be blamed.
And I don't think that's necessarily unfair, if you were the one to start the slanging match.

Anthonylfc

SusieBlue wrote: »

They won't listen to a story, they will have looked at your PM exchanges and used those to make up their minds.

Same as here, I couldn't message a Boards mod and be like "*** is an awful b*tch, she did this, that and the other".
They aren't going to go banning someone on my say so just because I have issues with them elsewhere, be it online or IRL.
Unless I had evidence she was breaking site rules or going against the forum charter it would be irrelevant.

What you said and did must have broken the rules and that's why you are the one who is site banned.
I believe you when you say ye were as bad as each other, but my guess is that you were the one to instigate it (because of what she posted elsewhere) so you are the one who is going to be blamed.
And I don't think that's necessarily unfair, if you were the one to start the slanging match.

all she had to say was " he posted my address and my pics online and im in fear of my life " blah blah and they'd ban you ( i didnt do that by the way as i dont know her or where she is )

sites don't act morally , its women that keep the men joining etc

SusieBlue

Anthonylfc wrote: »

all she had to say was " he posted my address and my pics online and im in fear of my life " blah blah and they'd ban you ( i didnt do that by the way as i dont know her or where she is )

sites don't act morally , its women that keep the men joining etc

I'm telling you, they wouldn't just take her word for it.
They'd have to see proof that you actually did this, or at the very least a Garda report to confirm same.
You seem to think its a conspiracy but forums and websites don't work like that.
They aren't predisposed to side with the woman like you seem to be insisting

Ask a Mod here and I'm sure they'll confirm the same.

Anthonylfc

SusieBlue wrote: »

I'm telling you, they wouldn't just take her word for it.
They'd have to see proof that you actually did this, or at the very least a Garda report to confirm same.
You seem to think its a conspiracy but forums and websites don't work like that.
They aren't predisposed to side with the woman like you seem to be insisting

Ask a Mod here and I'm sure they'll confirm the same.

i know what was said between me and her and it actually was me who instigated it

i'm not interested in the who did what etc

more interested in her fooking off and leaving me be if i venture to a site

tell me this then

i joined match.com ok , first and only time 100 % truth

few hrs later who views my profile ??? only her

que about 4 hrs later , im kicked off that site

bear in mind , all pictures and profile description is modified before accepted , so all my stuff accepted ok , no issues

also bear in mind , i was a standard member meaning i could not mail anybody at all , only view profiles

co-incidence ??? she views me and i'm kicked off ?

or a site siding with her when i had not been able to contact her

wiggle16

Anthonylfc wrote: »

wouldn't be the first time a site sides with a woman

I'm close to siding with her myself.

Your reponses here have been very abrasive and you've got defensive over every bit of advice given you. Also: this is a personal issues forum, and you're complaining about "do-gooders" :rolleyes:

Your issue is not with this woman, your issue is with a website that is banning you because you have reregistered having been banned before.

At the end of the day, your behaviour precipitated this reaction, and it may well be worth reconsidering how you interact with others online.

As noted above, you are not taking the advice given you on board, but are instead picking arguments with posters who are trying to help you. You also appear to believe that this situation worked out the way it did because she is female and websites always "side" with women. This isn't a gender issue.

This thread is locked based upon the above.

OP, i might suggest you take a breather for a week or so from registering online again before contacting the website as advised by Big Bag of Chips below. This might give this woman time to cool down or stop looking out for you if she is actually the cause of the problem.

Thread locked.

Big Bag of Chips

If you have issues with being incorrectly banned from sites then you deal directly with the site. You set out your case and you ask for another chance.

If she is sending them proof of the abusive messages you sent her (out of context without her part in the conversation) then yes, you will probably be banned because they wont want you doing the same to another woman/women.

This woman clearly has it in for you. For good reason it seems. Nothing anybody here advises you will change her. So your only option, if you still want to be on the sites is appeal directly to the site.

Your behaviour wasn't good though, by your own admission, so you might have trouble convincing them that she's as bad as you.