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Stressed about moving

  • 26-01-2019 9:40pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi everyone,

    I have been going through a very stressful time recently and I dont really know what to do about it. The thing is I have recently been offered a new job for a great company in Dublin. While I should probably be over the moon at getting a new job and advancing my career the truth is I am a nervous wreck and almost panicking over the thoughts of moving, my thoughts are full of dread and expecting the worst to happen.

    The problem for me though is that this will my 5th move in 6 years. With each job move I made, i had to move to another part of the country which I found stressful and now Im feeling can be too much to take on. Most of the positions were contract positions however in each place though I felt I had difficulties in settling down, meeting new people and new friends which I felt I really needed in order to make a go of things. everyone tended to do their own thing in their free time which left me lonesome and it resulted in me going home quite a bit in my free time. It felt like I was spending my weekend driving my car rather than enjoying my life. I was having a poor quality of life.

    This time I will be moving to Dublin from Cork but Im already doubting if I am making the right choice again. I was looking at jobs away from Cork because Dublin was nearer home and I was really beginning to struggle to settle in there, however, Cork is a serious base for the industry im employed in (biopharma industry) and I really did want to settle in with the opportunities available in the industry there. It is also cheaper than Dublin but I was really beginning to struggle there and it was affecting my work and this really disappointed me. Im now really worried about being able to settle down, stay in one place and have a career with a company for 4, 5 or 6+ years. I am sick of all this moving. Im looking at my colleagues from college and they are all staying in there careers now for 2, 3 or more years and they are all getting promotions where as I feel I am basically pressing the reset button every year and a half and making no progress. I am 30 years old this year and I feel I should be more settled, in location, job and possibly a partner and a few friends. All I can say is that I have none of these.

    I am really worried that this move will not work out either and I am wondering if I was wise moving to Dublin at all giving the expense of living there compared to Cork and giving the level of opportunity in Cork with the other companies there. Did I give myself enough of a chance to get my career up and going and to settle in to life in Cork. i was there for a year and a half. I feel I have been very hard on myself but I feel I need to get this right now. I dont want to end up moving again but I am worried about settling in Dublin. I cant afford to mess up again. I feel really confused about this right now, its all I think about and I just dont feel relaxed about it at all


Comments

  • #2
    joeguevara
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,234 ✭✭✭joeguevara


    If you think the new job is a good move career wise and there is progression then you should go for it. You can’t change the last 5 moves and have to be forward thinking.

    It seems that the bigger issue for you is your life outside work and making friends and finding a partner. You will have these concerns no matter where you live. Dublin has way more people but sometimes that can make it harder as you feel more anonymous. But there are clubs, meetups and loads of places to meet people. It is expensive to live here so don’t put yourself under financial pressure which could make your social life hard. I think it’s a good idea to share with other people and have more disposable cash than having a place of your own but can’t afford to go out. Also sharing with people is social and could be the start of meeting new people.

    Write down all the pros and cons dividing it into career and social life. Seeing it written down will make it easier to make the right decision. Remember only you can live your life and don’t worry what other people are doing. From the dawn of time we have always been insecure about what other people have achieved and comparing where they are to us. Yes they may have promotions but for all you know they may be jealous that you have the opportunity to move while they are stuck where they are. Be happy at work and outside of work. Forget about the past as you can’t change it.


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