What's going on in my silly little head?

LegacyUser

I'm in a great relationship with a great guy. We're not together that long, 16 months, and we're living together for 4 of those. We're both heading for 40 and the having kids conversation happened a month or so ago. I knew we both wanted kids but it took me by surprise, his openness and readiness to it came as a shock as he's quite risk-averse and level headed. But I guess time isn't on our side. We agreed to wait 6 months or so before trying/discussing trying again.

I agreed and believed whole-heartedly this was the right thing to do, but now that the issue has been brought up i've gotten really carried away with myself. I don't have an obsessive personality, i can't remember anything that preoccupied my head to the point where I was getting distracted at work reading up on articles about geriatric pregnancies and worrying about our lifestyles and diets re getting pregnant. Before I met this guy I didn't care if I ever had kids, I'd sort of gotten to the stage where I felt that ship had sailed. Our relationship is secure, I'm secure, so I'm not looking for something to cement us. I'm happy, I'm enjoying our mundane day-to-day and am fully aware of the challenges bringing a child in to the equation presents, so, I feel like this obsessing is not filling any kind of void or coming from a weird needy place.

Is this hormones? Or my biological clock or something? How do I make it stop?!

He is my normally my sounding board and I'm struggling with this as it would be totally unfair to start telling him I'm desperate to get pregnant and very ready right now. It's as much his decision as it is mine, so I mean, I still think it's right to wait the few months out and my sane (non-pregnancy obsessed) brain will likely agree with him if he says this too.

Am I a mad person?

woodchuck

I don't think you're mad OP. You sound happy and secure in your relationship and if you're sure you want kids, time isn't on your side, so it seems logical to ask the question "why wait?".

You referred to his "readiness" so it's not clear which of you wanted to wait 6 months?

It's also not clear how old you are. "Heading towards 40" could be mid-30s or 39... I think if you're on the younger end of the scale, I think it might be wise to wait the 6 months as you're only living together a wet day. But if you're on the older end of the scale, I think you need to reopen that discussion sooner rather than later.

LegacyUser

I'll be 38 in September.

But the women on both sides of my family have had healthy pregnancies well in to their 40's. My granny was 46 when she had my mum and my mum didn't go through the menopause until she was 60, so if genetics play a part, which I believe they may do, I don't think the 6 months is going to change anything majorly. I go to the gym 4 or 5 times a week, eat healthy and don't smoke. I'd be more worried about him, we'd have fairly contrasting lifestyles.

This is my issue though, the rational part of my head is completely able to justify the wait. This new weirdo setting about getting pregnant, not so much.

In terms of his readiness, we had initially decided we would try straight away, or not try, but stop taking precautions. The next day, sober, we agreed that was a little impulsive.

Mr. Incognito

that 6 months could be the difference between conceiving naturally or not given your age.

I would go to him as your sounding board and if you both want to start trying immediately.

klm1

I think you have gotten some good advice above, go back to him and tell him what you've written above. You sound happy in your relationship, you sound level headed and as ready for this as anyone can be. It sounds like you're both on the same page and its entirely natural to be excited about the possibility of having a child together. It is a wondrous thing, be excited all you can.