Responding to your critics

I’ve a family member whose incredibly dull and dry and keenly dislikes me because I’m the total opposite. I’m quite playful and silly and energetic and it’s blatantly obvious she doesn’t like me and enjoys getting little digs in. She makes subtle comments that suggest I’m stupid or immature, even though despite my easy going nature I’m actually very level headed and mature.

In the moment however, I never quite know how to respond. How would you respond to your critics AH?

facehugger99

sparklinglens wrote: »

I’m quite playful and silly and energetic

I’m thinking this is code for ‘incredibly annoying’.

RMAOK

Tell them to fúck off, perhaps?

sparklinglens

sparklinglens wrote: »

I’ve a family member whose incredibly dull and dry and keenly dislikes me because I’m the total opposite. I’m quite playful and silly and energetic and it’s blatantly obvious she doesn’t like me and enjoys getting little digs in. She makes subtle comments that suggest I’m stupid or immature, even though despite my easy going nature I’m actually very level headed and mature.

In the moment however, I never quite know how to respond. How would you respond to your critics AH?

With indifference.

SEPT 23 1989

I never read any of the reviews of my work

KaiserLu

sparklinglens wrote: »

I’ve a family member whose incredibly dull and dry and keenly dislikes me because I’m the total opposite. I’m quite playful and silly and energetic and it’s blatantly obvious she doesn’t like me and enjoys getting little digs in. She makes subtle comments that suggest I’m stupid or immature, even though despite my easy going nature I’m actually very level headed and mature.

In the moment however, I never quite know how to respond. How would you respond to your critics AH?

What other people think of you is none of your business.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

Just ignore it all.

BuzzMcdonnell

KaiserLu wrote: »

What other people think of you is none of your business.

Should he just cover his ears when around her then? Wouldn’t want him hearing something that isn’t his business.

pgj2015

maybe make fun of how dry they are?

tedpan

Wow, what a waste of a thread

tomoliver

If you engage with it you're just feeding it

AllForIt

As a general rule which in retrospect was probably a mistake I ignore remarks from family members. Unfortunately this culminated in myself quite seriously loosing the cool with my sister some 2 years ago and I haven't spoken to her since.

Growing up as a Catholic one is always taught that family is the most important. This is not true. The only thing that is important is your meaningful relationships whether they be meaningful relationships with family or anyone else. You can choose you friends but you cannot choose your family. I won't tolerate anyone putting me down especially ppl who are lesser than me which is why they do it in the first place in my case.

The positive thing from my outburst with my sister is that I realize now what is important, not superficial family occasions for the sake of appearances but to work on the good relationships you do have instead of wasting time and effort on the one's that arn't worth the trouble.

Kimbot

There is nothing mature about asking after hours for help :P

spurious

I long ago stopped caring what anyone else thought of me. It is very liberating. If I could transfer one thing to my teenage self, it would be that.

r93kaey5p2izun

Struggling to deal with fairly minor personality clashes among family members seems to be an emerging trend in AH. Has this relative ever sent you out for milk OP?

RustyNut

sparklinglens wrote: »

. How would you respond to your critics AH?

Give them a wedgie.

EdgeCase

@AllForIt:

To be fair, I don't think that's anything to do with growing up as a Catholic. There's a general emphasis placed on familial relationships in all human societies because they're automatic and have a degree of unconditionality to them at some level.

You do get to chose your friends but at the same time people will also be blindly loyal to friends, romantic partners, social groups of all sorts that can be very bullying or toxic towards them.

I think with any relationship, you have to be able to stand back from it if it's turning nasty. With family, that can just mean polite distance as you can't reasonably disown them and there's always that DNA linkage that tends to be there whether you get on well or not.

I think perspective is everything in relationships. You need to be able to stand back and see the bigger picture from time to time. Otherwise you can spend your life burried in pretty conflicts.

freshpopcorn

I just leave things go over my head generally or act up even more to annoy the person!

corner of hells

Have you tried lighting one of your farts in front of her OP ?

Feisar

Walk, as in exit regardless of the day.

arybvtcw0eolkf

Kaysen White Equalizer wrote: »

Just ignore it all.

That's a wisdom which comes with age my friend.

OP, just ignore it (but it takes a very long time to learn to do this).

For Forks Sake

sparklinglens wrote: »

How would you respond to your critics AH?

I tend to kill them with fire.

Hammer89

sparklinglens wrote: »

I’ve a family member whose incredibly dull and dry and keenly dislikes me because I’m the total opposite. I’m quite playful and silly and energetic and it’s blatantly obvious she doesn’t like me and enjoys getting little digs in. She makes subtle comments that suggest I’m stupid or immature, even though despite my easy going nature I’m actually very level headed and mature.

In the moment however, I never quite know how to respond. How would you respond to your critics AH?

"Shut up you dry, dull c*nt".

You'll lose their respect but I guarantee you'll shut them up.

chrissb8

Hammer89 wrote: »

"Shut up you dry, dull c*nt".

You'll lose their respect but I guarantee you'll shut them up.

Nah all it will do will give the miserable bstrd the opportunity to finally show their already visible disrespect more out in the open.

It's funny to watch people think they're getting one over on someone with sly little digs as the OP says. When in reality everyone in the room is aware of what's going on and is just suffering it in order to get on.

Been in similar situations, not really myself it's happened to too much (I think?). Most people just cringe and generally will say when the offending party is gone how rude or what a p***k they are. No real winner there.

pablo128

RMAOK wrote: »

Tell them to fúck off, perhaps?

That, or the middle finger usually puts an.end to any argument. Very effective I must say.

One eyed Jack

sparklinglens wrote: »

I’ve a family member whose incredibly dull and dry and keenly dislikes me because I’m the total opposite. I’m quite playful and silly and energetic and it’s blatantly obvious she doesn’t like me and enjoys getting little digs in. She makes subtle comments that suggest I’m stupid or immature, even though despite my easy going nature I’m actually very level headed and mature.

In the moment however, I never quite know how to respond. How would you respond to your critics AH?

Have you considered that they may well have a point? I don’t ignore criticism, I learn from it. Sometimes they have a point and I take it on board, and sometimes they’re just being an arsehole seeking approval by playing to the crowd. It all depends upon context really. As Oscar Wilde is reputed to have said -

A good friend will always stab you in the front

M.T. Cranium

Get a copy of War and Peace and studiously read it, but make sure you're holding it upside-down. You can say it's an effort to meet them half way.

SlowBlowin

For their birthday buy them a postal subscription to VIZ magazine, you might be able to turn them.

SB

s7ryf3925pivug

sparklinglens wrote: »

I’ve a family member whose incredibly dull and dry and keenly dislikes me because I’m the total opposite. I’m quite playful and silly and energetic and it’s blatantly obvious she doesn’t like me and enjoys getting little digs in. She makes subtle comments that suggest I’m stupid or immature, even though despite my easy going nature I’m actually very level headed and mature.

In the moment however, I never quite know how to respond. How would you respond to your critics AH?

Thank them or ridicule them or anything in between - depends on the criticism. People who are unable to digest any criticism tend to be a bit precious and unpleasant.