Addiction withdrawls fear

LegacyUser

The title pretty much sums it up.

Backstory: (I am writing this while I am still fit)

I injured myself quite severely a year and a half ago. I got pain pills to manage the pain while I was healing. About 6 weeks in I was healed but kept taking the pills, upping the dosage along the way. I didn't know about addiction IRL as I don't smoke and don't drink except for the very odd occasion where I would be out with work and have a glass of wine or brandy after dinner. It was never a subject that entered my sphere as I looked after my health out of necessity due to my job being very physically demanding.

I stopped taking the pills about 6 months in and the withdrawals were horrific. Im not joking when I say I have NEVER been in such a bad headspace and the pain and vomiting and running ass tap were more than I could cope with. I never in my wildest dreams thought it could be so bad. IAS bad as the physical symptoms were, it was the mental flagellation that nearly had me taking the pills again. Its a good job I didnt because I would have overdosed for sure given what I know now.

Roll on a few months. Life happenings occur that I don't have any coping skills for and I turn to the pills again. I am now on liver busting dosages and I feel my physical and mental health declining by the day. Not to mention the bank account. The farm is becoming too much and the whole scenario is fast headed to hell in a very flammable handbasket. Time to walk the path again. I took my last pills Christmas Eve and am now in the first phase which is still functioning with the help of anti-nausea and drying up medicines. I am about to enter phase two which is the vomiting that no medicine can counter and the stomach liquifying and the aches and pains. Im just not sure I can go through this again.

My Doctor is a family friend and is absolutely out of the question. If I could have gone the first time, I would have. I suppose Im just asking for some company along the way. Some comfort of mind. I will update as I go and as am fit but already I feel the monster pounding up the road slamming his fists off the ground coming to get me.

Signing off for now.

Your local friendly farmer.

cannotlogin

If you can't go to your regular GP, then find another one as beating this on your own wmd without medical advice is both difficult & foolish.

Quiting with support will be tough too but easier than doing what you currently are. You seem to have the willpower so it shouldn't be too bad once you have some help.

Johnson_76

cannotlogin wrote: »

If you can't go to your regular GP, then find another one as beating this on yoir own smd without medical advice is both fifficult & foolish.

Quiting with support will be tough too but easier than doinv what you currently are. You seem to have the willpower so it shouldn't bee too bad once you have some help.

I am not sure where you are based. Well done on quitting, the struggle starts now. Second phase always the hardest. Remember you only have to do it once.

I do not reccomend medical supervision , generally doctors prescribe more pills and the whole thing starts all over again. You can do it

The mental anguish is the hardest and that's where you need real support.

You mentioned addiction and it's safe to say you are an addict. The people who you chose to speak to about your difficulties just will not uderstand, unless they have also been down this road themselves. Even, with the best will in the world it will be lost on them.

There is something extremely therapeutic about one addict helping another. I recommend a twelve step fellowship, try Narcotics Anonymous.

This may sound crazy, but at this stage , do the opposite to what your head tells you. You will have the monkey on your back urging you to use again. Fight it, keep busy, but it's very important to remember you cannot do it on your own.

You may last a while , but you need constant support, to stay stopped. Life will throw curve balls and you will seek comfort in the old reliables. Your mind will not let you remember the diahorea , the sleepless nights, the turmoil. It will only focus on the "relief"

Best of luck. I too , have been in your position and have come out the other side.

Jaymacc

Well done starting over again. I think you should try find another GP \ Counsellor who you can talk openly to about it and get the help you deserve. To keep your mind busy maybe take up some walking / swimming. I read recently that 30 min hot baths daily can boost mental health and resilience so it could be worth a try too. You are doing great and need to maintain the momentum. Keep up the great work.

wiggle16

Johnson_76 wrote: »

I do not reccomend medical supervision , generally doctors prescribe more pills and the whole thing starts all over again.

Mod note:

Johnson_76, you are not in a position to recommend against medical help nor should you do so.

Offering medical advice is against the forum charter, and that includes telling the OP not to go to a doctor.

Please keep that in mind when replying to a thread.

keepalive213

<SNIP>

Mod Note: See above post, do not post medical advice in the thread.

Rachiee

Fair play for seeing the problem and trying to take control. The the drug and alcohol helpline is a freephone run by the HSE 1800459459. If you give them a ring next week they can give you the number for your local drugs worker.
You may feel like they are only there for people who have addictions to hard drugs but the dynamics are the same and pill addictions are rife.
They can offer support and advice and may help you come up with a plan to develop better coping skills and avoid relapsing again in the future. In the mean time keep your eyes on the prize, it's painful now but think about why you are doing it, best of luck. And if you do start to feel very unwell consider getting medical help.

BBFAN

OP if there the pills I'm thinking about your're nearly there, stick with it and you'll survive the withdrawals. I've got it from expert sources that 10-14 days is the longest this will last and that's true.

You can make it, stick with it.