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Terrified over antisocial behavior/harrasment

  • 27-12-2018 12:11am
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi, I am trying to write my feelings down in the hopes that is helps my mental situation, I am suffering from extreme anxiety, I am shaking as I type this. My family has begun to be targeted by kids in our area, it began with parents of two kids, a girl and a boy moving back with their parents who live next door to us. Before they moved back the kids would visit, and often we would find them in our garden, which would be ok, only the younger of the two, the boy, would hurl abuse at us. We didn't bring it up with their parents as it didn't happen very often. Now however, they are living there, and have made friends with kids in another part of our estate. These kids now come up here and loiter outside our house, being loud, playing loud music, and have begun throwing rubbish, kicking balls in and now flying drones into our windows (the boy next door received a drone for christmas, and has flown it into our window about 8 times already). Tonight a group of them sat in their garden next to ours, and after getting a chinese delivery, began throwing food at our house. I know it's pathetic for a grown man to be terrified of children, but I am a not a very assertive or confident person, and what's worse my parents are in an even worse state, as they are elderly and in my mother's case, not well at the moment. I don't know what advice can be given if any, I just want to get this off my chest, thank you.


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I'm very sorry to hear about your predicament but there comes a time in everyone's life when we need to stand up for ourselves, and by the sound of it your time is now. The next time the drone comes in the window grab it and ring the guards immediately. When they arrive, show it to them as evidence of what's been going on. Hopefully they'll give the little scrote a good talking to and he'll learn his lesson. If not, keep a detailed written account of any further disturbances and ring the guards if necessary. Your parents have an absolute right to the peaceful enjoyment of their own home and nobody should get away with trying to destroy that. Good luck.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 803 ✭✭✭BelovedAunt


    If you’re in Dublin ...<SNIP>


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,518 ✭✭✭✭dudara


    BelovedAunt - Boards does not condone the use of violence. Please read the forum charter before posting again.

    dudara


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,795 ✭✭✭Mrcaramelchoc


    IvoryTower wrote: »
    Is moving an option

    Seriously?with two elderly parents you're suggesting moving.you can't just deflate them and pack them away.

    Keep Reporting it to the gardai and if that doesn't work you'll have to step up and see what their parents think.

    After that i would be going down the more un diplomatic route.
    The little bastards need to be given guidance.

    Ps never ever try and grab a flying drone.use a sweeping brush.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 619 ✭✭✭macnug


    Have you talked to their parents? There a thing you can buy that emits a high pitch sound that only teenagers can hear to prevent loitering.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,821 ✭✭✭Markcheese


    macnug wrote: »
    Have you talked to their parents? There a thing you can buy that emits a high pitch sound that only teenagers can hear to prevent loitering.
    I think it's Called a mosquito, it works, to some extent. I'm not sure if the legality of it though,
    Its subtle though just an annoying whine, combine that with anti vandle/ anti climb paint on the tops of your back wall, some thorny bushes and climbing plants, maybe some trellis to give you a bit of privacy..
    And a bit of conflict.. Don't loose it but get cross and march one of them into the parents, depends on the kids and parents though... (the drone won't last long,)

    Be active about it, don't just sit and stew, if there is a community garda, go have a chat .. Lots of little things,

    Slava ukraini 🇺🇦



  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Home & Garden Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 22,430 CMod ✭✭✭✭Pawwed Rig


    You need to speak to their parents. Gardai will not do much.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 472 ✭✭Turbohymac


    Maybe discreet CCTV as absolute firm evidence that when gardai are called you can at least give them evidence of a couple of incidents..otherwise it could be your words against theirs ..the kids..
    You need to quietly gather evidence and maybe then visit garda station..
    Best luck. Thankfully I live way out in the countryside..but I wouldn't put up with that behavior.. and you certainly shouldn't have to move house because of this


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22,648 ✭✭✭✭beauf


    The community Garda are usually the ones who deal with this. Contact your station and find out who this is.

    Very stressful. Generally a phase they go through, and their habits generally change after 6-12 months and they'll go do something else.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,518 ✭✭✭✭dudara


    Have you spoken to the parents at all? That should be the first step, before escalating to Gardaí


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thank you for your replies, unfortunately moving is not an option, my parents own their house but have very little money besides. I'm afraid to contact the gardai again, as we were burgled a few months back and were heavily criticized by our neighbours for doing so, and not "sorting it out ourselves", we are very much outsiders here and isolated. One of the reasons I am reluctant to go to the parents are that I simply don't know where these kids live, only the ones next door, and after hearing a shocking conversation between her and the mother of another one of the kids I don't think she will be care much about what they're doing. I'm supposed to be studying for exams in January (I moved back home to study full time) I can't see that happening, my only hope is that the mother and her boyfriend get a house and move out again, but that could be months or years if ever.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,695 ✭✭✭December2012


    Go talk to the parent that you know about.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,125 ✭✭✭kirving


    What ages are they?

    You can either ignore it in the hope it'll go away, but if they've got a reaction form you before they'll just escalate until you're forced to react again.

    Could call the Gardai every time, but if the partners don't care then the Gards can/will do very little.

    Have you a big dog or know someone with a big dog?

    Set off your external house alarm repeatedly while you have earplugs in. Local neighbors will think the kids did it and react.

    If they thought you were a very unstable then they'd give you a very wide birth, but you've gotta be a naturally scary person and willing to get close to the law yourself. Snapchat / phones would be your enemy here.

    If you have a TD from a certain political party, I've heard of anti-social behaviour ending overnight once they're contacted.


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 3,022 Mod ✭✭✭✭wiggle16


    You need to speak to the parents and failing that the Gardaí.

    The Gardaí are the only ones who are going to be able to sort this for you (whether I'd have any confidence that they will is another story). But they will not do anything until you have tried speaking to the parents you do know of. You have to try. You need to get a handle on your anxiety for this situation.

    If you get a dog, those kids will just end up teasing the dog too. If the dog attacked one of the children, you would be in big trouble. Don't go escalating it like that.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,611 ✭✭✭Mooooo


    Generally if a drone hits something it "breaks," that may prevent it flying into the window again. Report it to the guards anyway and get the deterrents mentioned above, thorny plants etc


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 3,022 Mod ✭✭✭✭wiggle16


    Only other stop-gap solution I can think of would be a Mosquito emitter. It emits a high frequency sound that only under 20's or 25's can hear (due to the natural deterioration of our hearing past that age) as a deterrent to loitering. No idea if you can get one here or if they are even legal but might be worth looking into.

    But contact the guards all the same. Anything else is a short term solution that may backfire on you.


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Home & Garden Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 22,430 CMod ✭✭✭✭Pawwed Rig


    Get a box of stink bombs and lob one out every time they start to congregate. The smell will drive them away. The mosquito option is fairly expensive iirc.

    The Gardai will not do much so if talking to the parents doesn't work then you may need to see if they have a landlord you can complain about to PRTB.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 67 ✭✭Dirtdrifter


    Anything reactive like stinkbombs is likely to make matters worse


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,159 ✭✭✭joeguevara


    My advice is knock in to parents and tell them everything. If they are decent then they will stop it immediately. If not then you need to stop it yourself. Forget about stink bombs et al. Haven’t heard anything more bizarre.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,257 ✭✭✭chicorytip


    Turbohymac wrote:
    Maybe discreet CCTV as absolute firm evidence that when gardai are called you can at least give them evidence of a couple of incidents..otherwise it could be your words against theirs ..the kids.. You need to quietly gather evidence and maybe then visit garda station.. Best luck. Thankfully I live way out in the countryside..but I wouldn't put up with that behavior.. and you certainly shouldn't have to move house because of this


    It's illegal to use CCTV cameras mounted on private property for evidence gathering purposes. By law they must be positioned so as not to record images from either a neighbouring property or outside public thoroughfare.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,078 ✭✭✭questionmark?


    chicorytip wrote: »
    It's illegal to use CCTV cameras mounted on private property for evidence gathering purposes. By law they must be positioned so as not to record images from either a neighbouring property or outside public thoroughfare.

    Ya but it's not illegal to have them on your own property recording what's happening on your own property. If the kids come on to the property or their drone then it's fair game to record it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,058 ✭✭✭✭anewme


    What type of area is it?

    What type of residents are there?

    The mistake you made was tolerating them in the first place, then they pushed their luck.

    If I see kids in my garden, it's "OUT YOU GO", but in fairness on the whole they are good kids and know if they went home and said they got ran, their parents would more than likely give out to them too.

    This business of not reporting burglaries makes me think your area might be slightly different.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,078 ✭✭✭questionmark?


    I'm afraid to contact the gardai again, as we were burgled a few months back and were heavily criticized by our neighbours for doing so, and not "sorting it out ourselves", we are very much outsiders here and isolated.

    This post makes me despair at the utter idiots your parents have to share your estate with.


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