My boyfriend is my only friend in college and it worries me

Sheepishapple

I didn’t have any close friends for most of my time in secondary school and I fear this trend is continuing into college. I used to have really bad social anxiety. My issue is that I have loads of acquaintances I’ll chat to and sit beside in lectures but no good college friends. I was kind of close with 2 girls for the first month and a half of college, but I only ever met them during college hours. They live about an hour from my accommodation so I rarely met them in the evenings. About 2 months ago, I met an amazing boy in my course, who only lives 5 minutes from me and I think it makes the situation worse. I love him and we spend most of our free time together. I feel if I didn’t have him, I would be trying a lot harder to make friends. I’m all too aware of how easily relationships can fall apart at my age and without him I’d probably be pretty lonely during the evenings in college. It’s really hit me since getting off for Christmas, as my boyfriend has met his mates from school a few times and his roommates are coming down to him too. I have no one in my hometown I could meet and no one from college who would want to visit me, bar him of course. I’m scared he’s going to realise how much of a loner I really am. Any advice?

Augme

<SNIP>

Make more of a effort in college with people. Either broaden your current circle or make more effort with the current people you know. For example, make the effort to travel that hour in the evenings every so often.

It's not healthy to just rely on a significant other as your main social outlet.

Big Bag of Chips

Are you happy the way you are? Would you like more friends? You mention you're afraid your boyfriend will realise what a loner you are. But if you're happy being you then it shouldn't matter. If you would like more friends, for yourself, then you are going to have to put yourself into situations that are a bit out of your comfort zone to meet more people.

Everyone is a bit awkward going in to New groups and meeting new people. I've never suffered from anxiety of any type and I feel awkward and nervous and shy going in to a new group. The one thing you need to realise is everyone there feels the same as you to some extent or other. Even the person who seems confident and chatty are hoping people will like them and they will mee like minded people. That's why people join these groups.

Have you joined any clubs or societies in college?

The_Honeybadger

Are you a member of any of the clubs or societies in college? That’s a really good way to meet people with common interests in a social setting.

You say you used to have social anxiety, does that mean you feel you have overcome it?

Sheepishapple

No I haven’t joined any clubs or societies but I will this term. I want to have my own friends as I don’t want to rely on my boyfriend for all my social needs and it would be nice to have someone to watch chick flicks with and go shopping etc. And given we’re only 19, we’ll more than likely break up at some point and then I’d have no one.

As for the social anxiety, I think I have a normal amount of it now. People in school would joke that I never spoke/was mute etc. whereas now I’m very friendly. I’m always being told how much mor confident I am, and those girls I was friends with at the start of college used to always say I was so chatty/extroverted, the polar opposite of what I was in school. It’s probably just a lack of effort that’s got me in this situation.

Thanks for the answers guys, hope ye are having a great Christmas xxx