VERY low key wedding..

hazelZzz

Myself and OH have been engaged a while now, we are not religious so no church wedding, we also don't feel the need to spend thousands on a big crazy wedding just because that's 'the done thing', I guess we aren't interested in the stereotypical idea of a wedding whatsoever but would like to be 'married'.

Originally the plan was OH & I would go to the registry office with 2 witnesses to sign the papers and that'd be that but now our kids are older and interested in being involved, so we are thinking maybe of having a little ceremony type thing with a really low-key afters?? Like in a buffet in the pub type thing? basically really chilled out and low key....and cheap!!

Personally I have only been to a few weddings and they have all been the traditional route so I'm not really sure how the registry office works in terms of having guests etc and as well as that I'm interested in your stories of very low key afters for weddings...? If you have any experience with any aspect I'd love to hear!!

Thanks!!

splinter65

hazelZzz wrote: »

Myself and OH have been engaged a while now, we are not religious so no church wedding, we also don't feel the need to spend thousands on a big crazy wedding just because that's 'the done thing', I guess we aren't interested in the stereotypical idea of a wedding whatsoever but would like to be 'married'.

Originally the plan was OH & I would go to the registry office with 2 witnesses to sign the papers and that'd be that but now our kids are older and interested in being involved, so we are thinking maybe of having a little ceremony type thing with a really low-key afters?? Like in a buffet in the pub type thing? basically really chilled out and low key....and cheap!!

Personally I have only been to a few weddings and they have all been the traditional route so I'm not really sure how the registry office works in terms of having guests etc and as well as that I'm interested in your stories of very low key afters for weddings...? If you have any experience with any aspect I'd love to hear!!

Thanks!!

I had a church wedding with 17 people including the two of us and lunch afterwards in a hotel with a wedding cake I made myself. We were married at 11am and left to get our honeymoon flight at 3.30pm. As far as I know a good few family stayed in the bar for a while.
The main thing is that you are adults and you really should not be overly concerned about family members and friends taking any kind of umbrage at your wedding plans.

Peregrinus

Weddings are in principle public affairs, and all registry office weddings can accommodate guests at the ceremony and are happy to do so. Obviously there must be some constraints as to numbers, which must vary from office to office, but it sounds unlikely that you would run up against that.

You can also add elements to a registry office ceremony according you your own taste - you don't have to have the three-minute job; you can make a "little ceremony thing" out of it. Only constraints are (a) there's a time-slot for your wedding, and there's only so much you can squeeze in, and (b) what you add to it can't include any religious elements. But that doesn't sound like a problem for you.

Talk to them at your registry office and they'll tell you what's possible and what's not. But quite a bit is possible.

As for the afters, entirely up to you; there are no rules about what you must do or how much you must spend. Main thing is to manage people's expectations, but if your guests are close family and a couple of near friends this shouldn't be difficult.

ardinn

Where are you based?

hazelZzz

ardinn wrote: »

Where are you based?

Clonmel, tipp

jlm29

hazelZzz wrote: »

Clonmel, tipp

The building that has the registry office in Clonmel is quite austere - I wouldn’t personally choose go get married there (even though in general, I couldn’t give a fiddlers about how I go about getting married, just the end result). I do know, however, that a work colleague got married there, and I have heard him mention his parents being there, so I assume his wife’s parents were there too.
There has to be space for a certain amount of guests.
You could alternatively look at a hotel with a small room, where you could have the ceremony followed by a meal with just your kids and yourselves. I know Raheen have a small room that can be used for small functions like that!

molly09

splinter65 wrote: »

I had a church wedding with 17 people including the two of us and lunch afterwards in a hotel with a wedding cake I made myself. We were married at 11am and left to get our honeymoon flight at 3.30pm. As far as I know a good few family stayed in the bar for a while.
The main thing is that you are adults and you really should not be overly concerned about family members and friends taking any kind of umbrage at your wedding plans.

That sounds like a perfect wedding to me!

appledrop

Our friends got married in registery office in Dublin with just immediate family present. Then invited more guests to restaurant afterwards. It was a brilliant wedding very relaxed + lots of fun.

ChrissieH

You can also get the HSE registrar to perform your ceremony at the hotel or restaurant you choose, if you prefer a nicer surrounding than the local HSE building.. the venue does have to be pre-approved by the HSE (because they have requirement such as access, toilets, another room available in case there's any problems etc) and it's just a case of paying the mileage on top of the HSE's fee, which you have to pay regardless of whether you get married in a Church or by their registrar. If you keep it local, the mileage won't be a massive expense. I did that and it was grand.. the ceremony was about 20 minutes and I had 2 readings in it. The only songs were at the beginning and the end, as there didn't seem to be much point in sticking one in the middle while everyone just sat there - it's not like a wedding Mass where there's communion and gifts being brought up etc, so you'd need more music for that.

Alternatively, if you want something tailored to really reflect your personalities, you could contact a humanist celebrant and they can basically do anything you like (as long as they're personally up for it!) as in, you could have the ceremony in the woods at midnight, and you could have 20 songs in your ceremony.

But if cost is a factor, then the local registry office is the cheapest way to do it. Just probably not the nicest surrounding for such a happy occasion. Guests are definitely not a problem, just contact your registrar in Clonmel and ask her what the story is with numbers.

the afters is entirely up to yourself - it can be a sit-down meal in a nice restaurant or get on to your local pub about doing finger food or a BBQ or whatever you fancy. It's no different to booking a birthday party or christening or any other get-together.

.......

Myself and hubby witnessed one in the registry office and then went for dinner and drinks with the bride and groom afterwards. Super low key and very nice!

Do whatever YOU want to do. We would have done exactly what you propose but the MIL kept sticking her beak in so we eloped and just got married by ourselves.

Never regretted it once.

davegilly

hazelZzz wrote: »

Myself and OH have been engaged a while now, we are not religious so no church wedding, we also don't feel the need to spend thousands on a big crazy wedding just because that's 'the done thing', I guess we aren't interested in the stereotypical idea of a wedding whatsoever but would like to be 'married'.

Originally the plan was OH & I would go to the registry office with 2 witnesses to sign the papers and that'd be that but now our kids are older and interested in being involved, so we are thinking maybe of having a little ceremony type thing with a really low-key afters?? Like in a buffet in the pub type thing? basically really chilled out and low key....and cheap!!

Personally I have only been to a few weddings and they have all been the traditional route so I'm not really sure how the registry office works in terms of having guests etc and as well as that I'm interested in your stories of very low key afters for weddings...? If you have any experience with any aspect I'd love to hear!!

Thanks!!

I was at one recently in Fallon's of Kilcullen. Couple had already married in a registry office so had a friend perform the wedding on the day. The "ceremony" only lasted 5 minutes, vows and little else. Buffet dinner afterwards with a playlist on a speaker.
I had my own wedding which was something similar in the Cliff Townhouse in Dublin.

closifer

Not for everyone but we had the same dread and lack of interest in a big white wedding so we went to las Vegas just the two of us. It was a holiday and wedding wrapped into 1 and you can make it as cheap as you like if you get a decent deal on flights. We had a low key celebratory lunch when we returned for friends and family (mainly to mark the day for our son and parents). Have never had a single regret about the way we did it and when I see other people tearing their hair out worrying about what colour flowers to go with and whether they have to invite their grannys neighbour etc I am reminded why we went that route!

zoe 3619

We had what turned out to be a lovely wedding.
Quick appearance at the registary office with whatever family fancied coming,pint in the pub with the folk from work,then an open party at home in the evening.Everyone brought something,food or beer.They weren't asked to,but they did and it was great.
Mother insisted on buying a cake.
We paid for the registary office and maybe spent €100 on food/drink.

pooch90

Congratulations OP!
Raheen would be a lovely venue for a small wedding. The grounds are fab for photos.
I recently went to a 'day after ' there in the back bar. It was lovely. Everyone sitting around on couches then they had a lovely little buffet. Staff were great, we had our two toddlers there and they were incredible with them.
I think the civil ceremony venue here is in the clinic at the hospital (that's where pics of first gay marriage were taken, thats my only source!) And that is a depressing hole of a building