Is it worth it?

Bubblegummers

I joined here not to rant just to be able to put this Out for some kind of relief. I am 32 male, I’ve the last number of years I have went from someone with a lot of friends to someone with none. I am constantly down and depressed. I hate work, I hate my life, I don’t particularly like myself.

I have gained weight where I am now nearly 15 stone and only 5’8 in height. I am literally miserable and Inknow I should see a doctor or councilor but The motivation to even do that has gone.

I am afraid to say it to the few people I have around me for fear of being judged.

Anyone been through such a dark period, what did you do to ride it out.

Sycamore Tree

Bubblegummers wrote: »

I joined here not to rant just to be able to put this Out for some kind of relief. I am 32 male, I’ve the last number of years I have went from someone with a lot of friends to someone with none. I am constantly down and depressed. I hate work, I hate my life, I don’t particularly like myself.

I have gained weight where I am now nearly 15 stone and only 5’8 in height. I am literally miserable and Inknow I should see a doctor or councilor but The motivation to even do that has gone.

I am afraid to say it to the few people I have around me for fear of being judged.

Anyone been through such a dark period, what did you do to ride it out.

Posting in After Hours will send you over the edge entirely.

I recommend psychiatric help.

padohaodha

Get up on a bike.

Kevin Finnerty

Not the place here mate. Try the Personal Issues forum.

milehip

Can't say I've ever been through such a dark period,but you definitely need to talk to someone fast, you know this as you've written it above, don't be afraid of being judged, just consider posting this here as the first step,
good luck

Bubblegummers

Kevin Finnerty wrote: »

Not the place here mate. Try the Personal Issues forum.

Sorry just new to here didn’t know where to post it.

HappyAsLarE

I’ve been there. You need to find a sense of meaning in life. Some goal to set your mind to. Losing weight is one that I’ve used in the past.

I am going to give you the best advice that I wish I had before my darkest days: don’t turn to alcohol or drugs. It only makes the darkness darker and the brightness fleeting.

Bubblegummers

HappyAsLarE wrote: »

I’ve been there. You need to find a sense of meaning in life. Some goal to set your mind to. Losing weight is one that I’ve used in the past.

I am going to give you the best advice that I wish I had before my darkest days: don’t turn to alcohol or drugs. It only makes the darkness darker and the brightness fleeting.

I have no interest in drugs and I don’t care about drinking if I go out once a month that is a lot for me. Substances don’t amuse me.

myshirt

Thanks answer your question, yes it is worth it. Chin up, chest out.

It's Christmas time as well, and while you may have stopped believing in Santa, he has not stopped believing in you.

HappyAsLarE

Bubblegummers wrote: »

I have no interest in drugs and I don’t care about drinking if I go out once a month that is a lot for me. Substances don’t amuse me.

That’s good. Maintain an absolute hatred of them and don’t give them a chance. Then you will have a chance of pulling through.

fryup

*IMPORTANT*

go to your GP before these negative feelings take root.....and if you can try to get into a relationship that way you won't be so self obsessed

HappyAsLarE

Raheem Euro wrote: »

Think positive op.

I’d like to rephrase that to Think rationally OP.

You are one of the luckiest humans in the world, not starving or riddled with disease. That is the rational analysis of your life. Critique every negative thought you have like a scientist and you will start to be less affected by your negative thoughts.

Esse85

Bubblegummers wrote: »

I joined here not to rant just to be able to put this Out for some kind of relief. I am 32 male, I’ve the last number of years I have went from someone with a lot of friends to someone with none. I am constantly down and depressed. I hate work, I hate my life, I don’t particularly like myself.

I have gained weight where I am now nearly 15 stone and only 5’8 in height. I am literally miserable and Inknow I should see a doctor or councilor but The motivation to even do that has gone.

I am afraid to say it to the few people I have around me for fear of being judged.

Anyone been through such a dark period, what did you do to ride it out.

If you read that from another poster, what advice would you offer?

Are you doing anything to try change your work situation?
Same question with your weight?
Are you taking action to try address these issues?

Bubblegummers

HappyAsLarE wrote: »

I’d like to rephrase that to Think rationally OP.

You are one of the luckiest humans in the world, not starving or riddled with disease. That is the rational analysis of your life. Critique every negative thought you have like a scientist and you will start to be less affected by your negative thoughts.

I am due a child in March and I am so consumed by myself that I don’t wanna be here for it.

Bubblegummers

Esse85 wrote: »

If you read that from another poster, what advice would you offer?

Are you doing anything to try change your work situation?
Same question with your weight?
Are you taking action to try address these issues?

No went to join gym tonight paid money went home into tesco bought a load of rubbish now I’m in bed watching garabage on YouTube.

Gimme A Pound

Ah no you poor thing.

Difficult as it is, I think you gotta go to the doctor. I do think it's the first step you need to take. Exercise would be ideal but I think doctor first to give you the leg up you need to get started.

Raheem Euro

That's right.

Sometimes you eat the bear. And sometimes the bear eats you.

HappyAsLarE

Bubblegummers wrote: »

I am due a child in March and I am so consumed by myself that I don’t wanna be here for it.

Wow that’s deadly. I would love to have kids! Now there is a real meaning in your life. Bearing responsibility will really help you.

Here’s rational thought - your hormones are all over the place. Your apprehensive about being a parent. Both are completely normal. But it will be worth it in the end.

pumpkin4life

For being fat: I was there (6'2 and 220+ pounds) and I fixed it by:

Going on the ketogenic diet, in addition to lifting weights.

Used to be overweight, now lean out for the past while.

As for the rest of it:

It's normal to some degree. We live in a bewildered, confounded on the decline society. But look at the obvious things. A lot of people I know are depressed to some degree. You tell people, and they can relate, it's true.

Hows you're job?
Hows your relationships?
Hows your drinking?

I think people think depression just happens and there's nothing you can do about it. While there is a genetic component to it, no doubt, I think it can be more complicated than that.

There's also a fantastic post on CBT on The Gentleman's Forum, I'd look into CBT as well.

Sides the weight thing, I'm not sure how much I can help, but its something just to get through.

Bubblegummers

HappyAsLarE wrote: »

Wow that’s deadly. I would love to have kids! No there is a real meaning in your life. Bearing responsibility will really help you.

Here’s rational thought - your hormones are all over the place. Your apprehensive about being a parent. Both are completely normal. But it will be worth it in the end.

Thank you for the replies.

Cockford Ollie

Is it worth it? Not really.

HappyAsLarE

Bubblegummers wrote: »

Thank you for the replies.

You better name your son LarE.

Bubblegummers

HappyAsLarE wrote: »

You better name your son LarE.

If by March I’m happy he will be larry.

Bubblegummers

HappyAsLarE wrote: »

You better name your son LarE.

If by March I’m happy he will be larry.

woodchuck

Mod note:

As this thread has been moved here from After Hours, all posters should note that the PI charter now applies.

Please only post if you have mature and constructive advice to offer.

ToddyDoody

Bubblegummers wrote: »

I joined here not to rant just to be able to put this Out for some kind of relief. I am 32 male, I’ve the last number of years I have went from someone with a lot of friends to someone with none. I am constantly down and depressed. I hate work, I hate my life, I don’t particularly like myself.

I have gained weight where I am now nearly 15 stone and only 5’8 in height. I am literally miserable and Inknow I should see a doctor or councilor but The motivation to even do that has gone.

I am afraid to say it to the few people I have around me for fear of being judged.

Anyone been through such a dark period, what did you do to ride it out.

I'm the same age. During my darkest periods I rode it out by spending a lot of time in bed and reading a few self help books on people who had gone through depression. Gareth O'Callaghan's 'A Day Called Hope' was the one i read.

I'm going to stick the boot in. Its here in situations like this that everyone who'll have rid of any form of religion, whatever it may be, leaves people worse off. In bad times it helps to have some conception of something bigger, somethong of the aeons of which pur 90 years is but a small part.

Music too. Find the most melancholic stuff you can, not cheery stuff. Melancholic stuff may give you a genuine sense of connection.

Animals can be good during depression. Cats have a kind of empathy.

Try and remember any dreams you might have. They sometimes point to things you might be avoiding.

Try and open your eyes to 'the conflict between opposites' that naturally plays out, day in day out.

wiggle16

Mod note:

emptyhouse2222, please read the charter before posting again.