Bridesmaid dress

RagsOBrien

Do all bridesmaids use go to alterations fittings together? I'm a bridesmaid (first time). Two bridesmaids done some fittings for the original dress at a bridal shop (that ordered in dresses, no exact measurements taken). This was a few months back, then some more a few weeks ago. Little communication between any of us due to one thing and another (work, a holiday, children etc).

I took it to be that each maid got her own alterations done or arranged it based on the last chat between us all (bar one maid who is not living in this country but will be here for the wedding). I did contact the bride and other bridesmaid since regarding dressmaker to get a number but some time passed and no details which was ok. So I got a suggestion of a really good one and popped down to this lady. She has the dress now that I will wear. I tood the bride this, but she wasnt pleased.

Bride in the mean time made plans to do group alterations fittings at one seamstress (not the same one I found for the dress I'll be qearing). She is not happy and I haven't heard from her in a few days. I am worried now. I do t want to upset her. It's just to take it in a little at the top to fit my frame basically a d a little off the bottom as it trails. Just so it sits below my shoe and I wo t trip over the bottom. I thought it would be straightforward.

I paid the deposit to the seamstress already and she is not to commence working on ot or doing any alterations until next week. I am unsure what to do next? I do t want to cause hassle, but I dont feel like I should apologise either as I didn't know the plans of the bride to do a group session for this as she never mentioned it until a few days ago.

Any advice on what to do here, to not cause a scene and what the correct way is to approach this. Its possibly trivial, but I'm not married and have heard this time is very stressful for brides so I do t want to say or do the wrong thing here.

Thanks.

Fagashlil

Mine were all done separately, my alterations lady fitted the bridesmaids in whenever suited them. They didn’t even all come dress shopping at the same time, figured if the girls were doing me a favour by being bridesmaid, it should be made as easy as possible on them.

Faith

I've never heard of bridesmaids getting their alterations done together. I've been a bridesmaid twice and both times it was entirely the bridesmaid's choice as to whether to get alterations done, and up to her to pay for them.

love_love

Don't stress too much about what the "done thing" is - it sounds like the bride is just a bit stressed because something she had planned one way is happening a different way. In the long run, it sounds like you've done her a favour, but in the short term it's probably made her feel like she's lost control of things a bit and if her wedding is soon, I'm sure there's many things like that!

Let her know that you're going to go ahead with the alterations as you've paid a deposit, ask her if there's anything you should be aware of to let your seamstress know (unlikely but it will make her feel like she still has some control), and then maybe ask something about shoes or accessories or something to show that you're still part of the "group".

SozBbz

I've only been bridesmaid once but we got ours done together, bar one girl who wasnt in the country who make a seperate appointment.

We had a very organised bride however who gave us notice a few weeks ahead of the time and place. I think she just wanted to see us altogether in our dresses, but if for whatever reason we couldnt have gotten a day to suit all, i doubt it would have been a big deal.

She paid for all alterations, we just had to show up.

I do think its best to leave these things to the bride to organise to her standards unless told otherwise, however it seems like you did make an attempt to find out what was going on with little response.

I don't think this should be a major deal however so don't let it become one. As previous posters have said, her reaction is most likely 90% stress, so just deescalate the situation. Tell her you meant well and ask her what she'd like you to do now and go from there.

pooch90

My BMs were scattered around the country. One of them came with me to seamstress that was doing my gown. Both others did it themselves. Though one of them went to a well known chain and they made an absolute balls of it. So we ended up in a panic trying to get it fixed a few days before the wedding. Once it's someone reputable then I wouldn't worry and certainly wouldn't fall out over it.

witchgirl26

I've been a bridesmaid twice and both times had the fittings together. Now in both cases, the dresses were bought from a normal shop (Monsoon & Debenhams) and fitted with a seamstress as opposed to in a bridal shop.

First one was in the UK so was all done the same time as had to fly over so we all worked around that.

Second one was in Dublin & there were only 2 of us so was easy to organise. I suppose one thing I got from it was that we were able to get them shortened to the same length (where they skimmed on our feet) and that the alterations didn't cause any of the dresses to look different to the others (which I have seen happen).

OP is there any chance you can get your dress back and maybe go to the group fitting? Yes it might be a bit of a pain but if it smooths everything over might be worth it.