Falsely Accused of Sexual Assault

myofasciality

About 6 weeks ago, I had a few beers. It was about 12am at my flatmate, who is also gay, came back from work.

I was in a socialising mood and so invited him into my room (there is no living room or seating area in the kitchen etc.), as there is a sofa and places to sit and chat.

After some time, I was a bit friendly and playful and asked him if I could play with his hair. So I messed with his hair for a minute or so. Then I asked him can I have a hug? He said yes and we hugged. Then I asked him for a second hug - and he, again, happily hugged me again.

When he decided to turn around and leave, I hit him on the ass with my left foot. Not hard or aggressive, just a light tap. The purpose was to be playful and joking etc. as we had just been for the past 10-15 minutes. He turned and cheekily asked me to 'stop', which I did, and he left and went back into his room.

Some minutes later, I jokingly sent him a text on WhatsApp saying would he like to join me in bed for cuddles? My room is open.

I woke up the next day and didn't think anything of the situation.

Fast forward 3 days and he's playing loud music in his room at around 6pm. I was trying to rest. I've been having problems with him playing loud music / making excessive noise, for some time. I thought that by socialising with him, he might make an extra effort not to do this anymore.

So I lost my temper as I was trying to rest and asked him to stop / that it has to end today. He laughed very loud shortly afterward and I sent him another message saying, "this is crazy...your laugh is demonic sounding".

He then replies with "You haven't apologised for what you did to me a few days ago" - he then went on to portray the entire episode as me "sexually harassing" him and that by tapping him on the ass with my left foot, I had "abused" him sexually and so he has to lock his room all the time in fear of me.

I was appalled by his false interpretation and went out and spoke to him directly. I explained the situation and apologised for any stress I caused him - that I was tipsy and was just trying to be playful etc. There was no distress during that episode - it was very easy-going and fun etc.

I thought that was the end of it.

Fast forward 6 weeks and the landlord asks him to leave, saying to him that "both of the other tenants are unhappy with you". When he learns of this, he tells the landlord that why should he leave as I had "sexually assaulted" him weeks ago. The landlord then calls me today to discuss the story.

He is alleging I slapped his ass. I didn't. I tapped his ass with my foot.

My concern is that because he's telling people twisted accounts, and because he's furious at having to move out in 3 weeks, that he's going to go to the police where it's going to be my word against his.

I could end up jailed and my reputation in tatters and I don't know what to do / think of this.

The_Conductor

Regardless of how consensual the interaction was- once he decided to leave- and you continued with tapping him on the bum- and after he said stop and left- you sent further Whatsapp messages to him- inviting him into your room- you moved from a consensual encounter/interaction- into the territory of harrassment. If someone says stop- you really have to stop. The fact that it was all fun and games up to that point- is irrelevant. Once a halt has been called- you really should have accepted his request- and honored it.

I don't know precisely what the different is between an assault and harassment- however, and I know its not what you want to hear- you most certainly did harass him from the account you've given (above).

I don't think the police would do anything- other than perhaps take a statement- and advise you to keep away from him and to have no further contact with him. Cases like this- are normally dropped on the basis of hearsay- that is- He said/she said- without anything on which to back up the claims. However- in this case he clearly has the Whatsapp messages you sent him later that evening.

All I can really suggest is keep your head down, and hope it blows over- and learn a lesson from it- and don't make the same mistake again. If someone says stop- STOP.

myofasciality

The_Conductor wrote: »

Regardless of how consensual the interaction was- once he decided to leave- and you continued with tapping him on the bum- and after he said stop and left- you sent further Whatsapp messages to him- inviting him into your room- you moved from a consensual encounter/interaction- into the territory of harrassment. If someone says stop- you really have to stop.

All I can really suggest is keep your head down, and hope it blows over- and learn a lesson from it- and don't make the same mistake again. If someone says stop- STOP.

I should perhaps clarify two things.

First, there was only 1 tap on his ass with my foot. There was no repeat.

Second, when he said, "Stop", after that only one tap, he said it in a cheeky, joking manner - think of how a girl or boy might say "stop" to their partner even though they don't really mean "stop abusing me". Intonation and the voice used can make a difference.

I don't know if that makes a difference, but just for clarification purposes.

I completely take your advice on board. I'm going to be so much more careful in future.

I should probably add that:

- Since that day and my apology to him and his acceptance of it, we've talked more than ever before.
- 4 days ago, before he knew he was going to be evicted, he knocked on my door and asked me to comment on his figure / how he looked / did he look fat in his new clothes / did his glasses suit him etc. Why would someone so abused by my actions suddenly do this?

The point is that the second the landlord revealed I had told the landlord I wanted him gone (because of the noise issue), he has raised this sexual assault issue as a point of revenge.

I didn't slap him on the ass. I didn't force myself on him. He's exaggerating all of these points to make a case of sexual assault.

never_mind

Sounds like you were inappropriate, OP, and hopefully you’ve learned a lesson.

Sexual assault? Doubt it. Inappropriate? Definitely.

You should have been the one to be asked to leave IMO

myofasciality

never_mind wrote: »

Sounds like you were inappropriate, OP, and hopefully you’ve learned a lesson.

Sexual assault? Doubt it. Inappropriate? Definitely.

You should have been the one to be asked to leave IMO

never_mind wrote: »

Sounds like you were inappropriate, OP, and hopefully you’ve learned a lesson.

Sexual assault? Doubt it. Inappropriate? Definitely.

You should have been the one to be asked to leave IMO

My concern is that if he does go to the police and falsely portrays the case as slapping his ass etc. without consent, and it's believed / goes to court and accepted, I could get jailed.

I read that sexual assault warrants a prison sentence of up to 10 years. This could effectively destroy my life.

I know you said what I did was not sexual assault (and it isn't, though you're right about my behavior being inappropriate), but if he convinces the police that I did slap his ass (courtesy of his fake WhatsApp embellishments) then these days slapping someone's ass is considered non-consentual and sexual assault and warrants a prison sentence.

Even though I know I'm innocent, I can't help worry about this situation because it's my word against his and lawyers have a way of twisting facts.

Big Bag of Chips

You're being hysterical. Rape cases don't often end in jail time. You're hardly going to be sent to jail for (not) slapping a fella on the arse.

He hasn't even gone to the guards. It seems like you two are now talking and getting on a bit better. Can you all call a house meeting and see if there's any chance that you can all agree to a few ground rules and maybe he could continue living there?

never_mind

I doubt he will go to the police,

myofasciality

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

You're being hysterical. Rape cases don't often end in jail time. You're hardly going to be sent to jail for (not) slapping a fella on the arse.

He hasn't even gone to the guards. It seems like you two are now talking and getting on a bit better. Can you all call a house meeting and see if there's any chance that you can all agree to a few ground rules and maybe he could continue living there?

We were talking up to Thursday. As I said, it was only last Monday that he knocked on my door and asked me to comment on his figure / weight / clothes / style.

On Wednesday, an enormous argument broke out between the third tenant and him - and the third tenant is friends with the landlord. So it was decided that he would leave. On Thursday evening, the landlord sent a message to him saying, "The other two tenants have complained about you, so you need to leave the apartment...". He then screenshot the conversation and sent it to me, saying, "Oh it seems you want to be rid of me too...". I denied it, saying that the decision that was made was nothing to do with me.

Yesterday, the landlord rang me (when the other tenants were present) and on loudspeaker, "asked for clarification with a yes or no answer". The question was, "Do you think he should leave?". I tried to add context but the landlord was having none of it - "it's a simple yes or no answer". Reluctantly, knowing he was listening, I said, "it's probably best if he leaves the apartment".

Once he heard me say that and the phone call ended, he told the other tenant and the landlord that I "sexually assaulted" him (as revenge, as you can see). Since then, we haven't spoken. I tried to contact him on WhatsApp with a few friendly messages, saying "if I said no, the other tenant was going to leave, if I said yes, you had to leave - there was no option for me to say both of you stay - hope you can understand."

I still haven't received any response. He's now back to making lots of noise in the apartment, again, as revenge.

I'm not sure how my reaction is hysterical because sexual assault is sexual assault and, if the law has a sentence attached, there is no reason why they shouldn't apply it to me (assuming they believe his false account).

Big Bag of Chips

But if he's making up lies, then his story won't be consistent. And therefore not believable.

You are being hysterical, you will not go to jail.

myofasciality

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

But if he's making up lies, then his story won't be consistent. And therefore not believable.

You are being hysterical, you will not go to jail.

When the issue first arose, he sent me WhatsApp messages with a fake account of what happened.

I replied, "That's not what I remember".

He then replied with a detailed account of what he claims happened - even using the words "sexual harassment" and "sexual abuse".

I then knocked on his door and spoke to him and we talked it through and forgot about it.

However, he still has those messages. He could easily go to the police and claim to have a written record, at the time, of what happened. However, there is no admittance by me that I did any of it. As I said, my reply was only the above. Nonetheless, many investigators might ask the question, "why would he lie 2 days after the event in that way via text?".

And ultimately, it boils down to me saying he's embellishing the story versus the text messages he sent which contradict my claim.

Katgurl

Ugh he sounds vile. Is he moving out?

myofasciality

Katgurl wrote: »

Ugh he sounds vile. Is he moving out?

Yes - on 12 December.

Seems like he's trying to bring everyone down with him.

Dial Hard

You're catastrophising. Do you know what the chances of an actual rape case being brought to trial and resulting in a conviction and custodial sentence are???

Keep your head down and your nose clean til he moves out. And I have absolutely no idea why you felt the need to take the call from the landlord on loudspeaker within his hearing.

myofasciality

Dial Hard wrote: »

You're catastrophising. Do you know what the chances of an actual rape case being brought to trial and resulting in a conviction and custodial sentence are???

Keep your head down and your nose clean til he moves out. And I have absolutely no idea why you felt the need to take the call from the landlord on loudspeaker within his hearing.

I know that several of you have made that point. Maybe I'm legally naive as to how things really work.

In my mind - an allegation -> investigation -> evaluation of evidence -> proclamation of innocence or guilt.

Maybe I watch too many soap operas.

A girl made an allegation against Ched Evans even though there was no real hard evidence - yet it went to trial.

So maybe someone can explain why my case would be any different?

I've been really stressed out about this issue. I can't talk to my family or friends about it and the issue is circulating in my mind every minute. So here is really the only place where I can flesh out the problem and somehow deal with it. I appreciate all the comments made so far.

GingerLily

myofasciality wrote: »

Dial Hard wrote: »

You're catastrophising. Do you know what the chances of an actual rape case being brought to trial and resulting in a conviction and custodial sentence are???

Keep your head down and your nose clean til he moves out. And I have absolutely no idea why you felt the need to take the call from the landlord on loudspeaker within his hearing.

I know that several of you have made that point. Maybe I'm legally naive as to how things really work.

In my mind - an allegation -> investigation -> evaluation of evidence -> proclamation of innocence or guilt.

Maybe I watch too many soap operas.

A girl made an allegation against Ched Evans even though there was no real hard evidence - yet it went to trial.

So maybe someone can explain why my case would be any different?

I've been really stressed out about this issue. I can't talk to my family or friends about it and the issue is circulating in my mind every minute. So here is really the only place where I can flesh out the problem and somehow deal with it. I appreciate all the comments made so far.

A girl did not make a claim against Chad Evans, the Police did after watching cctv footage of her.

I'm not here to argue his guilt or innocence, but you don't seem to know anything about this controversial case.

myofasciality

GingerLily wrote: »

A girl did not make a claim against Chad Evans, the Police did after watching cctv footage of her.

I'm not here to argue his guilt or innocence, but you don't seem to know anything about this controversial case.

Perhaps.

The point I was trying to make is that an allegation seems to be sufficient.

never_mind

GingerLily wrote: »

A girl did not make a claim against Chad Evans, the Police did after watching cctv footage of her.

I'm not here to argue his guilt or innocence, but you don't seem to know anything about this controversial case.

Why feed this, GL? It’s not helping the OP.

Either way the OP was drunk and inappropriate.

myofasciality

never_mind wrote: »

Why feed this, GL? It’s not helping the OP.

Either way the OP was drunk and inappropriate.

I know people say I'm over-reacting about the jail thing. But when you see stories like this:

1-year jail sentence
http://www.ladbible.com/news/news-man-facing-up-to-a-year-in-jail-for-slapping-waitresss-bum-20180525

9-month jail sentence
https://www.globalcitizen.org/en/content/french-catcall-sexual-harassment-first-fine/

Irish example - 8 months
https://www.independent.ie/irish-news/courts/man-gets-eight-months-in-jail-for-slapping-woman-on-bum-for-the-thrill-of-it-29020976.html

So you can see why my intense worry is justified.

mazwell

I don't think you assaulted him but you were completely inappropriate. He's lashing out because he's angry about having to move out and I really don't think he will go any further with his allegation.
However I think you need to look at your behaviour and modify it or you'll be posting again

eviltwin

myofasciality wrote: »

I know people say I'm over-reacting about the jail thing. But when you see stories like this:

1-year jail sentence
http://www.ladbible.com/news/news-man-facing-up-to-a-year-in-jail-for-slapping-waitresss-bum-20180525

9-month jail sentence
https://www.globalcitizen.org/en/content/french-catcall-sexual-harassment-first-fine/

Irish example - 8 months
https://www.independent.ie/irish-news/courts/man-gets-eight-months-in-jail-for-slapping-woman-on-bum-for-the-thrill-of-it-29020976.html

So you can see why my intense worry is justified.

The first two are not relevant as they aren't Ireland. The third one was a bit more serious than just slapping someone, he followed her and he has previous convictions. It's not the same as your situation at all.

Ignore him between now and when he leaves and don't touch anyone again. It's not sexual assault imo but it's creepy and you're lucky you weren't evicted over it.

leggo

Is this going to go anywhere? Almost definitely not. The fact he didn’t make any report to the Gardai until he suffered an inconvenience unrelated to you would back up that this is all out of spite. This isn’t a serious case of assault. You’ve disagreed over what happened over text. It’s just a non-runner as a whole legally.

HOWEVER...you need to check yourself OP and use this fear as a massive lesson. As someone already says, when someone says stop, stop. You argued with that saying he said stop after you patted his arse and you did, but you didn’t did you? You continued to text him asking if he wanted to come to bed with you. He didn’t want to sleep with you, that was clear, when he moved away from you to leave you touched him and when he went into his own bed you continued to contact him. That’s not ‘stopping’ in any sense of the word. You don’t get brownie points for not pinning him down and raping him. You were wrong here. I’d feel extremely uncomfortable if a housemate behaved this way with me. It’s inappropriate, massively creepy and arguably illegal.

Also, the drama from all of you is ridiculous for adults living in a house share. Stuff like taking calls on loudspeaker within hearing distance telling the landlord to kick him out, what are all of you at lads? There’s a rent crisis in Ireland right now. Anyone in a rental accommodation they’re happy with should be concerned with keeping the head down and not attracting negative attention from the landlord, else they’ll just look for the first opportunity to boot you all out and get better rent from lower maintenance tenants. You lads are using the landlord to score points and settle scores in domestic arguments, trying to ride each other while drunk, doing basically anything you can to maximise the drama because you all seem to feed off it.

Nobody’s behaviour here is good. This place sounds like an absolute shambles from people who need to grow the **** up right now and get a grip on being adults fast. You’re already facing or worrying about serious consequences: your housemate is getting booted out of his home before Christmas, you’re worried if the Gardai are gonna knock on your door. Cop on lads. Use this mess for something good and learn from it as a guide for what not to do in a houseshare in future.

Sunflower 27

I agree with leggo.

You say there was nothing in it, but you did invite him into your bed so on some level you must have accepted that there was a possibility he would come to your room.

You tapped him with your foot on his bum. Do you really think he wants you put away for this? Or rather, just trying to frighten you?

I agree keep your head down until he has gone and learn from this.

You are obsessing now, which is clearly impacting on you negatively. Move on, lesson learned.

Katgurl

myofasciality wrote: »

Yes - on 12 December.

Seems like he's trying to bring everyone down with him.

Just grit your teeth and let it happen. I know it's not easy but a tosser like him will be a tosser to everyone. I assume your other flatmate knows the 'allegations' only came after he was evicted? Don't get dragged into explaining yourself more than that if you start hearing rumours from outsiders just practice a very consistent line of laughing "oh yes we were great mates until he got thrown out of the house then suddenly I had assaulted him two months previously, its strange amnesia happening like that"

You did nothing wrong. The two of you were messing about and harmlessly flirting it seems. He is such a numpty, end of.

never_mind

Katgurl wrote: »

You did nothing wrong. The two of you were messing about and harmlessly flirting it seems. He is such a numpty, end of.

I disagree. I am not a big massive SJW looking to start a debate on consent but what the OP did was inappropriate and he needs to bare that in mind.

gwalk

Katgurl wrote: »

You did nothing wrong. The two of you were messing about and harmlessly flirting it seems. He is such a numpty, end of.

If it was a male and female in this situation and not two males would you still have the same attitude?

I very much doubt it

Katgurl

gwalk wrote: »

If it was a male and female in this situation and not two males would you still have the same attitude?

I very much doubt it

Well then you'd be wrong. Ffs what is the big deal? If I was in my male flatmates room, had told him yes you can play with my hair, yes lets have a hug, yes lets have another hug then I am FLIRTING with that man. If he then tapped me on the ass with his boot I would be thinking I need to make a decision soon if this is going somewhere. (None of this would happen as I am not single. If my boyfriend had been in a female bedroom doing all that I would not tolerate it.) If I 'cheekily' said stop and went to bed I would not be massively surprised by the text.

If I put the brakes on then and he continued to pursue me over the coming days I would be irritated and would have a direct conversation - I am not interested sorry and would be very annoyed if that didn't put a stop to it. In fact I would tell him to FRO if he as much as made a suggestive comment to me.

But hello - two people being flirty and one propositions the other is harassment? People need to get a grip.

leggo

Or how the OP painted it originally: it was a night out and there’s nowhere else to sit in the apartment so he sat with him to continue the chats they were having. The OP asked him if he could do all of those things, maybe his flatmate felt uncomfortable as it’s a bit awkward to say no to a hug (especially with someone you live with and have to see the next day). Then when he got up to leave, not taking the hint (or perhaps taking it but not liking it) the OP chose to touch his arse. If you decided against having sex with someone, regardless of if you were flirting beforehand, and they touched your arse as you were leaving...would you really be fine with it?? Honestly?

These things are all about perception and once you touch someone without consent, your perception ceases to matter as much as theirs. Flatmate definitely overreacted, but OP definitely shouldn’t be touching him or anyone else without consent.

Katgurl

He nudged him with his FOOT. He didn't have a good rub of his behind!

Hannibal_Smith

Katgurl wrote: »

He nudged him with his FOOT. He didn't have a good rub of his behind!

He then gets a text asking if he wanted to come into his room for cuddles.

It all sounds very creepy and although I don't the the result will be as bad as you think OP, may be try reading the signs better in future.

leggo

Katgurl wrote: »

He nudged him with his FOOT. He didn't have a good rub of his behind!

It’s still awful to get groped at all and feel violated. I hate if someone gives me a pinch or slap on the arse in a nightclub on a night out, if I had to live with a person that did it (regardless of sexuality/gender)? Nah, sorry, I’d be massively creeped out, it’d feel like the start of a running theme where I couldn’t relax in my own home because they’ve now broken that boundary and I either have to have an awkward conversation I didn’t ask for or deal with the fact it could happen again.

You might find that too much, and that’s fair enough, but I’m allowed have my own standards over who gets to touch me in any way and so is OP’s housemate, and if someone breaks that without consent then they don’t get to be like “ah relax sure I only!” anymore.

Katgurl

Yes except that they were in OP's bedroom, had already hugged and stroked his hair - basically flirting.

Ursus Horribilis

We're into grey he said/he said territory here.

The reason they were in the OP's bedroom was "So invited him into my room (there is no living room or seating area in the kitchen etc.), as there is a sofa and places to sit and chat." You can read as little or as much into that as you want to.

You can read the next bit any way you want. Was he being cheeky as the OP suggests? Or was the housemate's request to "Stop" more serious than he thought but disguised as a jokey comment?

"When he decided to turn around and leave, I hit him on the ass with my left foot. Not hard or aggressive, just a light tap. The purpose was to be playful and joking etc. as we had just been for the past 10-15 minutes. He turned and cheekily asked me to 'stop', which I did, and he left and went back into his room.

Some minutes later, I jokingly sent him a text on WhatsApp saying would he like to join me in bed for cuddles? My room is open. "

It's down to perception. If the housemate wasn't interested in taking things further with our OP, the tap on the ass and the Whatsapp messages will not have gone down well.

It stands out a mile that the only reason this has blown up is that the other guy has been asked to leave. Nothing is going to come of this. It's someone being a pr*ck because they've got to find somewhere new to live.

evolving tipperary

The_Conductor wrote: »

Regardless of how consensual the interaction was- once he decided to leave- and you continued with tapping him on the bum- and after he said stop and left- you sent further Whatsapp messages to him- inviting him into your room- you moved from a consensual encounter/interaction- into the territory of harrassment. If someone says stop- you really have to stop. The fact that it was all fun and games up to that point- is irrelevant. Once a halt has been called- you really should have accepted his request- and honored it.

I don't know precisely what the different is between an assault and harassment- however, and I know its not what you want to hear- you most certainly did harass him from the account you've given (above).

I don't think the police would do anything- other than perhaps take a statement- and advise you to keep away from him and to have no further contact with him. Cases like this- are normally dropped on the basis of hearsay- that is- He said/she said- without anything on which to back up the claims. However- in this case he clearly has the Whatsapp messages you sent him later that evening.

All I can really suggest is keep your head down, and hope it blows over- and learn a lesson from it- and don't make the same mistake again. If someone says stop- STOP.

What a mad over-the-top response. You've reimagined what the OP has written:

He tapped once.

He sent one flirtatious invitation via text.

That's the kind of post that's indicative of outrage culture. Throwing out the word harrassment like it's nothing...

Actual cases of harrassment:

https://www.adcq.qld.gov.au/resources/case-studies/sexual-harassment-case-studies

Stacksofwacks

If what your saying is what happened then its a fairly minor thing and he is definitely being an overreacting primadonna about it. however you did make physical contact however harmless you thought it was, it wasnt welcomed and if he was genuinely offended by it then you owed him an apology. It also seemed like you fancied him and were hitting on him in some way, not something that is usually a good idea with flatmates. Sitting on the sofa with flatmates playing with their hair, hugging and tickling etc is not something id be into really I generally prefer to keep my distance from flatmates/workmates etc. something to consider in the future. Legal action is unlikely but definitely a lesson for the future

leggo

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

We're into grey he said/he said territory here.

The reason they were in the OP's bedroom was "So invited him into my room (there is no living room or seating area in the kitchen etc.), as there is a sofa and places to sit and chat." You can read as little or as much into that as you want to.

You can read the next bit any way you want. Was he being cheeky as the OP suggests? Or was the housemate's request to "Stop" more serious than he thought but disguised as a jokey comment?

"When he decided to turn around and leave, I hit him on the ass with my left foot. Not hard or aggressive, just a light tap. The purpose was to be playful and joking etc. as we had just been for the past 10-15 minutes. He turned and cheekily asked me to 'stop', which I did, and he left and went back into his room.

Some minutes later, I jokingly sent him a text on WhatsApp saying would he like to join me in bed for cuddles? My room is open. "

It's down to perception. If the housemate wasn't interested in taking things further with our OP, the tap on the ass and the Whatsapp messages will not have gone down well.

It stands out a mile that the only reason this has blown up is that the other guy has been asked to leave. Nothing is going to come of this. It's someone being a pr*ck because they've got to find somewhere new to live.

Agree with all of this. Nevermind we’re taking the OP’s word for a lot and the adverbs he uses sound like he’s writing an incident report actively trying to make himself sound like the good guy, like when you see someone being like “I POLITELY asked them to move...” Yeah I’m sure you were real polite there bud...

We’ve no idea how ‘cheekily’ or ‘jokingly’ anything was in reality, just the account of someone after they’ve got accused of sexual assault (which it seems like they did to the letter of the law by their own admission). In fact the fact he was clearly trying his best to ride this lad all night suggests the invite into his bed wasn’t joking at all, so there’s your first indication the OP isn’t being fully truthful.

LegacyUser

You wouldn't do it to Co-workers or fellow students? Minute you lay anything on someone's body beeing foot mouth leg head - it's sexual assault. See the way you asked for a cuddle twice? You asked. But didn't ask about putting anything else on his body never mind him trying to leave. I'd suggest not sharing properties with anyone any more if you can't keep your body parts to yourself. Learn what consent is.

Unanimous

When people are sexually harassed, it could be hard on them having to say no. They feel like they are being uncooperative sometimes. nobody should have to say no to something they didn't ask for in the first place. Having to say no is already sexual harassment.
From your story, you guys were not even cool so why did you feel it was ok to joke like that with him?

Were you expecting him to slap you if he is not cool with it? Be very mindful how you interact with people if you have a reputation to save.

lawred2

<SNIP>

Mod note:

Read the charter again before posting in PI.

Do not post in this thread again.

Bobtheman

Move out yourself. That way it's just between him and the landlord.
You seem to be jumping far ahead.
Simply move out and do not talk to him.
Trust me you will not hear from the police . They have better things to do

wiggle16

As it's been three weeks since the thread was started, the housemate has presumably moved out and all by now.

I don't think further advice will be of much use at this stage. I am closing this thread.

Thanks & grma all who posted.

Thread locked.