No Communion for my Daughter

aka79

My daughter is currently in preschool and will be starting primary school next September. The school she will be going to is a Catholic Country School. We chose not to baptize her for a number of different reasons. They are no ET schools in the area.. in fact non in the whole county, so Catholic Schools are the only option. The school is very small one. When it comes to her going into the year that they get their Communion, I feel anxious as to how she will be treated by fellow classmates. I would imagine that the teachers are quite compassionate about a situation like this but I am afraid for what other
classmates might say to her. Also, I am even anxious myself on how I am to word it to her that she won't be getting her communion. I am sure that there are many people in this current situation and I'd like to know how they dealt with it,

TIA X

Kathnora

aka79 wrote: »

My daughter is currently in preschool and will be starting primary school next September. The school she will be going to is a Catholic Country School. We chose not to baptize her for a number of different reasons. They are no ET schools in the area.. in fact non in the whole county, so Catholic Schools are the only option. The school is very small one. When it comes to her going into the year that they get their Communion, I feel anxious as to how she will be treated by fellow classmates. I would imagine that the teachers are quite compassionate about a situation like this but I am afraid for what other
classmates might say to her. Also, I am even anxious myself on how I am to word it to her that she won't be getting her communion. I am sure that there are many people in this current situation and I'd like to know how they dealt with it,

TIA X

You are over thinking things. Other children won't bat an eyelid about this issue. There will be others like her not making their communion. Nowadays that's no big deal and as your daughter hasn't even started school yet it will be even less of an issue in 2022/23. A lot can and will happen in the next 4/5 years of your child's life and you will probably look back in time to come and wonder why you thought this was an issue. You have made the decision to exclude her so no doubt you will find the words to explain it all to her as she grows up.

Redser87

Children of that age tend to be accepting of difference- The key is giving her the language, e.g. 'I'm non-religious'. You could always have a summer party and get her a nice dress so she has something to talk about in school.

evolving_doors

About 6 or 7 is considered to be the Age of Reason for children (or the beginning of Reason) https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brain-waves/201708/how-children-s-brains-learn-reason
So just consider it as a marking point for that.

Some schools let all children partake in the ceremony if parents want, without receiving communion. So you could ask the teacher if the school has ever made provisions like that for unbaptised students before. So they're included in the ceremony in some way. Alternatively you could plan to take them away from the whole thing for that week.
Stages of life can be marked with or without religion.

seamus

evolving_doors wrote: »

Some schools let all children partake in the ceremony if parents want, without receiving communion. So you could ask the teacher if the school has ever made provisions like that for unbaptised students before. So they're included in the ceremony in some way.

When it comes to the year, it might be worth asking the teacher if the child could be included in some kind of "facilitator" role, i.e. the teacher's assistant.

This would give her a formal role in the event as opposed to just sitting on the sidelines watching or doing some things but not others.

However, non-religious children in communion year is more and more common, so by the time your daughter gets there, the school may already have the facilities in place to accommodate her.

harr

Don’t be worried about the other kids anyway as they won’t care. My son is currently in communion class and while he is making his ( his choice) .
He has 4 or 5 class mates not making it and it’s definitely not an issue between the kids. They do there own things during any communion related stuff.
As for your daughter by that age she will be fine and will have some understanding why she isn’t doing it and will more than likely have others in her class in the same boat.

_Brian

seamus wrote: »

When it comes to the year, it might be worth asking the teacher if the child could be included in some kind of "facilitator" role, i.e. the teacher's assistant.

This would give her a formal role in the event as opposed to just sitting on the sidelines watching or doing some things but not others.

However, non-religious children in communion year is more and more common, so by the time your daughter gets there, the school may already have the facilities in place to accommodate her.

I would disagree with this half in half out notion.
Make a decision and stick with it. The school and kids will be grand.

I’d advise sitting with the teacher at the beginning of the year and working together on a plan and get straight so she is hearing the same language both at home and at school regarding her not partaking in communion.

Even as your daughter starts school sit with the principal and explain your position, it’s always better work with the school so your kid hears the same position from both, this will reduce stress on everyone.

huskerdu

My three kids have all been in a catholic primary school and didn't make their communion.
All three are very different personalities so we did what was best for each child at the time ( participating or not).

I can understand your worry, but talk to the teacher each year, listen carefully to your child so you can pick up on any worries they have about feeling different and talk to her about them. Most importantly. don't show her any of your anxieties. Children will learn to be anxious about a situation very quickly, if the adults around them are.

Take each year as it comes, and deal with communion at the time.