The fear

LegacyUser

Logged out for this. I’ve been trying to avoid posting but last few weeks have been horrible

I’m mid 40’s, male and single. Moved to a new town 18 months ago. Joined a running group just after Xmas. Got to know people and signed up for Dublin marathon. Training went great. As well as getting up to level of doing it I dropped 25kg in wait

We all stayed in Dublin after the run. I hadn’t been out too much socially with my new running buddies. We met up and drink went straight to my head. We met for drinks at about 7.oo. From 9.00 the night is a complete blank. That’s not normal for me but put it down to dehydration, tiredness etc

Anyway I woke up following morning with worst fear ever. And it’s been getting worse since. I have no idea what happened all night but I have convinced of worst case scenarios. Even tonight I started to convince myself I went toe to toe with partner of another woman that did the run also. I know that can’t be true as he wasn’t even in Dublin. At this stage I’m getting so many flash backs and I don’t know what’s true or false. I’ve rang in sick to work for last week. It sounds stupid. Nothing like this ever happened me before. I’m normally confident and when I have had too much to drink I don’t think I’ve eve4 done antythhing out of the way so not sure what’s wrong with me this time.

After a week break everyone started back running in the group. I’m still on the WhatsApp group but too afraid to join them.

I’m feeling depressed. Absolutely no history of this. Not sure what to do. Would appreciate any advice

up for anything

Is there no one person who was there that you can approach on the QT and ask them how big a fool you made of yourself or if you even did? It may all be a figment of an overwrought imagination.

Bricriu

This has happened to a lot of us, and we can be full of shame because of it.

The best way to resolve it is to be honest with the people who were in your company that night and to meet them one by one to get their account of how you behaved. Tell them how you feel, and ask them to tell it as they saw it, with no embellishments.

Then, if you were out of order - and maybe you weren't (the drunken mind can play tricks on us) - apologize sincerely.


Hope it goes well.

Springfields

Same advice as the others really. Talk to someone you are comfortable with within the group to suss out what happened - if anything - there's a good possibility nothing major happened but not knowing for sure will drive you nuts. If something did happen approach the person involved and apologies. I'm pretty sure everyone in the group has done something silly after a few. Apologise and move on. Nothing to be gained by dwelling on it. Also maybe consider taking a break from the booze for a while..seems like you enjoy hanging with this group and it's a good healthy pastime to have, so is it worth jeopardizing it for the sake of a boozy night out? Especially if it causes you this much stress after.

pwurple

Sounds frightening! I’d hate to lose a chunk of memory.

I can easily see how it happened. You’ve less body mass than you used to, you had just done a marathon, tired, dehydrated, probably the relief of finishing this. May not have been drinking during training. You probably drank those first few drinks like water and they affected you far more than is usual for you. You got a fright the next day. Completely understandable. It also is most likely that you were wandering around mostly asleep, rather than getting up to hijinx.

Take it on as a learning experience. You now know that booze affects you much more since the running.

Katgurl

Oh god you poor thing. It really sounds like an accident thsy could have happened to anyone.

If you can't face asking could you send a message on the whatsapp saying you have a blackout and feel horrendous about the night. I am sure everyone will be understanding.

Seriously give yourself a break.

Johnnyhpipe

You’d be surprised how little others remember, or even care. Face the music, laugh it off and learn sonething from it. Way easier said than done I know!

amdublin

I wouldn't be so hard on yourself!! I can only imagine how the dehydration plus the emotion of the whole event (well done on doing the marathon!) took it's toll.

Same advice - talk to one on the QT. Or do nothing at all! I'd agree. Chances are everyone or a lot of them was in the same boat.

Honestly. Don't be hard on yourself. You sou nd like a nice fella just trying to get by and have a good life and making friends etc. A bit like us all really.
And we're human. Sometimes we make mistakes. No big deal. We move on

Best of luck op

Ps. Stop being so hard on yourself!!!! Just in case you didn't hear me the other times!

Onwards and upwards dude

heretothere

100% agree with the others. If there is someone you could approach to find out if you did do anything embarrassing def do it! You probably didn't and from what I've learnt over the years they are usually only bothered by what they did themselves not what anyone else did.

Rubberchikken

It sounds an awful thing to experience. Im with the others. Is there someone you can ask how things went that night?
Youve done so great to relocate, take up running make new friends etc. Dont let this one thing set you vack.
Take care and good luck