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I know a family secret and I feel alone

  • 15-11-2018 8:58pm
    #1
    DareGod
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,298 ✭✭✭


    I recently was made aware of a disturbing extended-family secret that affects my close family in a very negative way and I don't know who is aware of it so I have nobody to talk to about it, but it's very disturbing and upsetting and I feel so alone.

    I keep preparing to discuss it with my best friend but when the time comes I can't bring myself to do it.

    Can anyone relate?


Comments

  • #2
    Paddy Cow
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,576 ✭✭✭Paddy Cow


    Can you talk to the person who told you the secret? Maybe ask them who else knows?


  • #3
    apple_ blossom
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14 ✭apple_ blossom


    I can relate, I could have written your post myself some 6 months ago. I was told something horrible by my relative that left me feeling upset, confused, and you could say disgusted. I couldn't have said anything to my family, that much I knew. To try and make sense of it I went to a couple of counseling sessions.. time is the best healer. I decided to keep the secret, I don't think about it as much, it's not fresh on my mind anymore.. but I still can't make sense of it- it was just too crazy..i have learnt to live with it, there's guilt mixed with disbelief, maybe denial.. This is my experience.


  • #4
    Ghekko
    Closed Accounts Posts: 942 ✭✭✭Ghekko


    Definitely go back to the person who told you and ask who else knows. I'd be reluctant to tell a friend just in case they couldn't keep it a secret. That said, a friend of mine told me a family secret and rang me a few days later in a bit of a state, as she knew she probably shouldn't have told me. I haven't told a sinner, not even my husband, so her secret is safe but for her it was a worry that I would talk to others about it. So for your own sake if this is a secret that would cause havoc if it gets out, just be mindful of telling a friend. Counselling might be the better option as it won't go further and at least you get to thrash it out.


  • #5
    DareGod
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,298 ✭✭✭DareGod


    Thanks so much for all your replies guys. You're the first people I've had advice from about this situation. Believe it or not, since I made this post I actually kinda just "lost it" and ended up talking to two family members about it. It helped. Also, I know that soon I'll be able to speak to my friend about it too. I know I can trust this friend one thousand percent, so there are luckily no concerns there.


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