Work colleague dissatisfied. Should I tell his manager?

eaglach

So I was chatting to a work colleague over a few drinks on Friday evening. He mentioned to me that he wasn't working on the things he wanted to and is contemplating leaving. He is good at what he does and has great potential, but he's young and I feel management are not giving him the opportunities he deserves.

Now I could just do nothing and mind my own business, but inevitably this would lead to him leaving which I feel would be the wrong step for him and would be a loss to the company. Alternatively I could say something discreetly to his manager as I've a good working relationship with him. The problem with this is that it could be seen that he is complaining about his job behind their backs which would reflect poorly on him, although I'm sure they would still want to keep him employed.

What would you do in my situation?

wellwhynot

Nothing. It is none of your business and very unprofessional to go to his manager.

Diceicle

If you have a very good relationship with his/your manager you could say something - but framing is important.
'Jack is doing great work on X. Might be worth considering him for project Y.'
Don't mention he's not happy if possible.

DellyBelly

Diceicle wrote: »

If you have a very good relationship with his/your manager you could say something - but framing is important.
'Jack is doing great work on X. Might be worth considering him for project Y.'
Don't mention he's not happy if possible.

Stupid question but how did you find out that his colleague was called Jack. Did you get itvia his IP address?

skooterblue2

Sure I have seen this before and the poor lad gets fired/**** canned/ contract not renewed. None of your business and when it happens everyone will blame you. Let both parties work it out for themselves

Joeseph Balls

EdgeCase

I’d talk to your colleague not his boss. Maybe you could encourage him to develop a better relationship with his manager and make changes into a slightly modified role?

Talking to his boss behind his back is at the very least the potential end of a friendship and trust and also you could be misinterpreting. People sometimes vent without necessarily following through or even wanting to follow through.

You were told this information in confidence.

OMM 0000

DellyBelly wrote: »

Stupid question but how did you find out that his colleague was called Jack. Did you get itvia his IP address?

He was just making up a name.

eaglach wrote:

What would you do in my situation?

He told you that in confidence. If he wanted to tell his manager, he would do so.

Mind you own business!

I'd be furious is someone did this to me.

mvl

Based on a peer relation between the two parties, I am also agreeing with the suggestions to OP to do nothing about it at this stage.

But do wonder something else: if OP would have been management - could a manager have other obligations to the business ?

eaglach

Maybe I misframed the question. I am what I guess you'd call middle management, so I feel there is an onus on me to keep this guy with the company. I was going to go discreetly to his manager and say "NAME seems to be doing very well, it might be worth giving him more responsibility. I wouldn't want him pigeonholed in one area or else you could lose him". Maybe not those exact words, but something along those lines.

As for him saying it to me in confidence, it really wasn't like that. He was shouting it out with a lot of work colleagues around and didn't really care who heard. He wasn't saying negative things about the company, just that he feels there are better offers out there. This guy is young and very brash and would likely to say it in front of management, albeit in a more jokingly tone.

As for people telling me to mind my own business, I think that is a terrible way to operate. If everyone took that approach things would fall apart - Friend has a problem? None of my business. Colleague is having difficulties at work? None of my business. Company is at risk of under performing? None of my business. See how that presents its own issues?

OMM 0000

mvl wrote: »

But do wonder something else: if OP would have been management - could a manager have other obligations to the business ?

I'm in management. If someone from another team came to me and told me they're unhappy in their job, I'd give them advice and tell them to discuss it with their manager.

I wouldn't tell their manager unless two things:

a) The manager and I are good friends.
b) I know the manager rates the employee and would want to know if they're unhappy.

Fann Linn

eaglach wrote: »

Maybe I misframed the question. I am what I guess you'd call middle management, so I feel there is an onus on me to keep this guy with the company. I was going to go discreetly to his manager and say "NAME seems to be doing very well, it might be worth giving him more responsibility. I wouldn't want him pigeonholed in one area or else you could lose him". Maybe not those exact words, but something along those lines.

As for him saying it to me in confidence, it really wasn't like that. He was shouting it out with a lot of work colleagues around and didn't really care who heard. He wasn't saying negative things about the company, just that he feels there are better offers out there. This guy is young and very brash and would likely to say it in front of management, albeit in a more jokingly tone.

As for people telling me to mind my own business, I think that is a terrible way to operate. If everyone took that approach things would fall apart - Friend has a problem? None of my business. Colleague is having difficulties at work? None of my business. Company is at risk of under performing? None of my business. See how that presents its own issues?

Advise your mate to speak to his boss, not you.

OldMrBrennan83

eaglach wrote: »

Maybe I misframed the question. I am what I guess you'd call middle management, so I feel there is an onus on me to keep this guy with the company. I was going to go discreetly to his manager and say "NAME seems to be doing very well, it might be worth giving him more responsibility. I wouldn't want him pigeonholed in one area or else you could lose him". Maybe not those exact words, but something along those lines.

As for him saying it to me in confidence, it really wasn't like that. He was shouting it out with a lot of work colleagues around and didn't really care who heard. He wasn't saying negative things about the company, just that he feels there are better offers out there. This guy is young and very brash and would likely to say it in front of management, albeit in a more jokingly tone.

As for people telling me to mind my own business, I think that is a terrible way to operate. If everyone took that approach things would fall apart - Friend has a problem? None of my business. Colleague is having difficulties at work? None of my business. Company is at risk of under performing? None of my business. See how that presents its own issues?

You sound like you've already made up your mind to shaft him and are just after people to tell you you're right to do it here.

You really do need to mind your own on this one.

wellwhynot

eaglach wrote: »

Maybe I misframed the question. I am what I guess you'd call middle management, so I feel there is an onus on me to keep this guy with the company. I was going to go discreetly to his manager and say "NAME seems to be doing very well, it might be worth giving him more responsibility. I wouldn't want him pigeonholed in one area or else you could lose him". Maybe not those exact words, but something along those lines.

As for him saying it to me in confidence, it really wasn't like that. He was shouting it out with a lot of work colleagues around and didn't really care who heard. He wasn't saying negative things about the company, just that he feels there are better offers out there. This guy is young and very brash and would likely to say it in front of management, albeit in a more jokingly tone.

As for people telling me to mind my own business, I think that is a terrible way to operate. If everyone took that approach things would fall apart - Friend has a problem? None of my business. Colleague is having difficulties at work? None of my business. Company is at risk of under performing? None of my business. See how that presents its own issues?

I still think you should say nothing. He did not ask for your help. You describe him as brash so if he wants to say something to his manager he is well able to. Stay out of it.

What would I do in your position?

Who knows. I haven't socialised outside of the workplace with any colleagues other than management/ senior staff 'peers' myself in years. It's good advice (which the usual suspects here will love to hate me for) and you should take it yourself in future. There's a good reason for it, as you're showing now yourself.

You're not his friend. You're not his manager. He wasn't confiding in you, so you should do absolutely nothing back in the office with what you heard when you put yourself inappropriately into the social mix with this young fella.

I'd tell him to pipe down and be a bit more careful about who he chooses to 'confide' in next time. That's what you can do for him.

mvl

eaglach wrote: »

Maybe I misframed the question. I am what I guess you'd call middle management, so I feel there is an onus on me to keep this guy with the company. I was going to go discreetly to his manager and say "NAME seems to be doing very well, it might be worth giving him more responsibility. I wouldn't want him pigeonholed in one area or else you could lose him". Maybe not those exact words, but something along those lines.

In that case, I would suggest you look into what is your company's culture on this - it may be acceptable or not. for example, in my environment I assume this might work only with a specific type of managers - not all

OMM 0000 wrote: »

I'm in management. If someone from another team came to me and told me they're unhappy in their job, I'd give them advice and tell them to discuss it with their manager.

I wouldn't tell their manager unless two things:

a) The manager and I are good friends.
b) I know the manager rates the employee and would want to know if they're unhappy.

I dare to ask: what if this guy hypothetically IS a friend and you are certain he is in an area that is below his talent - what would you do then ?

eaglach

Patww79 wrote: »

You sound like you've already made up your mind to shaft him and are just after people to tell you you're right to do it here.

You really do need to mind your own on this one.

I have no idea what you're talking about. How is suggesting to give him more responsibility shafting him?

JayZeus wrote: »

What would I do in your position?

Who knows. I haven't socialised outside of the workplace with any colleagues other than management/ senior staff 'peers' myself in years. It's good advice (which the usual suspects here will love to hate me for) and you should take it yourself in future. There's a good reason for it, as you're showing now yourself.

You're not his friend. You're not his manager. He wasn't confiding in you, so you should do absolutely nothing back in the office with what you heard when you put yourself inappropriately into the social mix with this young fella.

I'd tell him to pipe down and be a bit more careful about who he chooses to 'confide' in next time. That's what you can do for him.

Woah, I wasn't expecting that! Am I getting this right - you are telling me not to socialise with people that are not on the same pay grade as me?

Maybe I'm not his friend in the true sense of the word, but I certainly get on with him, enjoy socialising with him and would like to see him do well.

How did I exactly put myself inappropriately into the social mix?

Within the company I work for, everyone socialises with each other, be it the guy who replaces the ink in the printer or the managing director of the company. I think it lets people become more comfortable with each other and breeds discussion and teamwork in the workplace, but maybe that's a separate topic.

OMM 0000

mvl wrote: »

I dare to ask: what if this guy hypothetically IS a friend and you are certain he is in an area that is below his talent - what would you do then ?

Sorry I don't fully understand.

You mean what if the complainer guy is a friend of mine, and I'm in management?

Generally I don't get involved in people's affairs. My advice, and I often give it here, is to talk to your manager.

If someone maturely goes to their manager, explains the problem, and presents a number of solutions, the manager can't be annoyed with that person. They've done it the right way.

But if someone keeps their issues to themselves, gets angrier and angrier, and then quits... well that's their own problem and they need to work on their communication skills.

Managers aren't mind readers.

mvl

OMM 0000 wrote: »

Sorry I don't fully understand.

You mean what if the complainer guy is a friend of mine, and I'm in management?

Generally I don't get involved in people's affairs. My advice, and I often give it here, is to talk to your manager.

Yes, I also think this is the safest option for ppl who have an interest in staying. The manager also SHOULD know of other peers feedback - something individuals working out of a team have no visibility of.

- Sometimes (depends on the individuals) may be worth discussing what options would be available in the organization: there may be a process they are not familiar with for promotions, inter-department transfer, or other internal hiring.

beauf

eaglach wrote: »

....
What would you do in my situation?

Advise your friend to talk to their manager.
Don't circumvent the chain of management.
Get them on your team.
They might still want to leave. Such is life.
If the other manager, or the company can't or are not willing to retain staff.
Then that reflects on the manager and indeed the company.

seannash

Worth mentioning too is the fact that he may appear capable and full of potential to you but perhaps he can't get the basics down (showing up on time, taking longer breaks than he should, poor attitude to other colleagues or just being a complainer)and the manager doesn't look at him with such rose tinted glasses because of this.
It's very common for the people looking in to not know the full story of a person's performance in work.
Say nothing, most people threaten to leave a job at least once a year, it could just be him blowing off steam.

Keyzer

Fann Linn wrote: »

Advise your mate to speak to his boss, not you.

This.

Keep your own mouth shut.