Am I Nuts?

LegacyUser

I am at the grand age of 31 and for the last year or two I've been asking myself WTF am I doing with my life.

I'm currently in a job that makes me feel miserable. I'm still have the same job title as a graduate has when they enter my company (and I have 7 years experience behind me now) but while my pay is higher than a graduate it's still massively lower than guys I graduated with. Everyone who has come through a graduate program gets promoted 2-3 years after they come in but because I came in as a "experienced hire" I don't fall into that same stream. My reviews with my manager are normally quite good (last year I even got a 10% pay raise albeit my 1st pay rise) but I always fall back to the same point that I don't do enough of self promoting.

I've been saying I been going to leave for years now but I haven't for one reason or another. One reason is that it's quite a comfortable job and I was enjoying my social life outside too much that I never bothered to get a new job. Two years ago I did 4 or 5 interviews for other companies but I failed on the technical interview (I'm a programmer btw).

I also had issues with my last company were I was put on unofficial performance improvement plan (ie HR wasn't involved and was just me and my manager). I was also promoted shortly before this but that may have been down to be being on a graduate program. After completing the PIP's my manager went from saying he was really happy with me and seen a massive improvement to pushing me to interview for a lessor role inside the company which I naively did. I left the company four months after taking the lessor role to take up my current job.

The companies I've worked for are multi-billion companies with more than 200k staff.

I started toying with the idea to go travelling and I wanted to learn a new language for it so I was planning on quitting my job for that. I kept delaying it until I got a better grasp of the language but while I waited I found out that I could take an unpaid career break for a few months. So at the start of this year I went off for more than 3 months travelling on my own and it was truly one of the best things I did and I've got a new language out of it.

When I came home I was utterly depressed and the thought of looking for a new job here just didn't excite me as it once did. I wanted a new adventure and that is when a friend suggested that I join them in Australia. So I applied for the visa and got it before I turned 31 (well its now up to 35 now from next month) and one for NZ too. So I waited for my friend came back from travelling before handing in my notice but they ended up meeting someone while travelling and got a job in their country to be with them. I wasn't too upset I was just annoyed that I had wasted time waiting on them.

I revised my plan so that I'd go volunteer and go to a school in a country where I could improve my new second language before heading off to Oz or NZ. But now I'm terrified of quitting my job of leaving behind my paycheck, my pension, health insurance and my biggest fear is not being able to find a new job because of all the history I've listed above despite how irrational I know it is. The thought of having a meeting with my manager telling them I've leaving without having another job lined up and all the questions from my colleagues when they ask where I'm going just makes me feel sick to my stomach.

I know I'm being stupid like I know if I work hard on studying for interviews I'll have no problem getting a new job (sure that is how I got my last two jobs and there was a lot of failed interviews before I got an offer) but then I get bogged down in self doubt especially how low my confidence is because of my past history with my jobs.

I've 1.5 times my annual salary saved up so I know I won't be stuck for cash and I have no dependencies so I know it's a good time to go.

Thing is I've met loads of people who've done what I'm planning on doing from the people I met travelling to the people I met at language exchanges.

I'm hoping to hand in my notice next week when my manager come back from holidays. I've drafted up my registration letter and all but I'm just afraid I won't go through with it.

Sorry I didn't think I would type so much but do you think I'm mad to quit my job to do this?

Addle

I think you'd be better off trying to get a job you'll be happy in here rather than running away from a job that makes you feel miserable. Or maybe do something outside of work that might change your attitude towards work.

NutsAmI wrote: »

I've 1.5 times my annual salary saved up so I know I won't be stuck for cash and I have no dependencies so I know it's a good time to go.

I think that at this stage of your life, you'd be mad to blow that kind of money on a glorified holiday. What would you do when you return? Complain about that cost of rent/inability to save for a deposit for a house?
Sorry to be boring, but I think you need a reality check.

LegacyUser

Addle wrote: »

I think that at this stage of your life, you'd be mad to blow that kind of money on a glorified holiday. What would you do when you return? Complain about that cost of rent/inability to save for a deposit for a house?
Sorry to be boring, but I think you need a reality check.

I would be planning on working in Australia/NZ. So I'm not planning on blowing all my savings.

I've never lived abroad (well except for a J1) and it's something I've always wanted to do.

Buying a house is not something I've any interest in doing now nor anytime soon.

LegacyUser

Addle wrote: »

I think that at this stage of your life, you'd be mad to blow that kind of money on a glorified holiday. What would you do when you return? Complain about that cost of rent/inability to save for a deposit for a house?
Sorry to be boring, but I think you need a reality check.

OP I was the same age as you when I 'blew' that much money on a year spent travelling around the world. It was the best thing I ever did. Yes I came back broke and for a month or two after coming back I did freak out thinking dear lord what have I done but after that initial panic I knew it was the best choice for me. Some might see it as a glorified holiday but it was a life changing experience that improved my confidence so much. I'm pretty shy so going by myself I had to come out of my shell to talk to strangers. I improved a lot of my inter personal skills and my language skills that looked great on my CV and interviews which had been what I really struggled on before are now a breeze. If you wait around for other people to travel with or for the right moments in your life to do it you'll never do it.

Idle Passerby

I don't think your being stupid in wanting to travel. Life is for living. Your still young and without dependants. If you want to travel you should travel. Of course its scary and a gamble packing in a secure job, but sometimes taking a leap of faith to pursue something you are passionate about is the making of a person. Your better to do it now than wish you had done it when you have a mortgage and kids and are still stuck in a job you dislike.

spaceHopper

There will always be a reason to stay, you’ll be on project x and want to see it through, you’re going to buy a house and don’t want to be on probations ….
But travel is one thing that looks great on a CV so would having another language. Will you look back at the time there and say I’m glad I stayed? Or I wish I left. You must be good with money to have saved 1 ½ year’s salary.
Your manager won’t take it personally either they’ll be happy for you.
Blow half of it in travel, get a job over there a little outside your comfort zone when you come back sign up for a springboard course then find work.

heretothere

As far as I'm concerned travelling is never a waste of money! Give it a go, I came home whilst the recession was still in full swing, managed to get by and I wouldn't change my travelling for anything. In fact I meet my husband whilst travelling

qwerty13

“But travel is one thing that looks great on a CV”

I’d have to query this. I review CVs regularly. I just think of ‘travel’ as a bit of a jaunt / extended J1. Unless there’s relevant work experience.