Planning a will amongst many siblings

ThrowAway8

Not fully sure if this type of post is allowed but I’ll post it and leave up to moderators to decide.

I would appreciate some advice on wills and inheritance. Our Mother is a widow with eight children. One of her children is in his 20’s has a learning disability and would need to be cared for. She says she can’t decide what to do for her will and is reluctant to talk about it. I’m afraid there will be infighting between family members- there is one hot head in the family with notions of unearned entitlement. I want to talk to her about a plan for the future, so I’m trying to write up a set of scenarios.
She owns:
- A 7-bedroom home house a little outside a large town and a 1 hour commute from Dublin. She and my dependent brother live there. There’s no bus service into town. I see issues coming up the line with my mother’s mobility and my dependent brother getting isolated with no bus service.
- A second house currently rented out to students – in very close proximity to a college
- An average sized farm with 50% rough grazing. It wouldn’t be a money-maker but it has a massive potential value in the region of 5+ million due to its location.
My mother currently manages the home house, the rented house and the farm. She depends on us coming home for big jobs on the farm.
The remaining 7 children are professionals and half of us are married with children.

My mother is asset-rich, but has very little money in the bank. She definitely finds management of the three properties hard and considers it a burden. She is very reluctant to sell because she is so conservative. Dad was the risk-taker and she’s a bit lost without him.

How can she split this fairly between her children and not cause fights? I’m afraid the family might be split if one or more siblings feels hard done by. It is essential that the dependent brother is looked after.

I would appreciate any advice here before I have the talk with her. Are there any scenarios I could propose to her? Radical suggestions welcome...I think having a clear plan is responsible.

nuac

Mod
Open for general discussion subject to forum rule on legal advice

Tell me how

Talk to a solicitor with experience in probate. Not only will they know legal position in terms of liabilities etc but probably will have heard of every example and solution which could come to mind.

One option (from an inexperienced/uneducated mind*), sell everything, buy new property in town/on bus route for her and your brother divide money as she wishes with a trust appointed to manage your brothers share if necessary, whatever that may be. New house to be left to him to ensure home for life if necessary.

Can well imagine how difficult this is. Particularly with large family (and partners). If others learn that you are assisting 'guiding' her, be ready for some fireworks.

* paragraph 1 is the only thing I would swear by.

huskerdu

You seem to be mixing up two different issues
1) How to help your mother reduce her workload and provide a income for her and her dependent adult child
2) How to advise your mother what to put in her will

For the first item, if I were you, I would start by itemizing the work and the income and helping her realise that she has no choice but to reduce the work and provide an income and write up the options (leasing the farm, selling the big house , selling the second house).

For the second item, it is a good idea to get her to talk to a trusted friend / family member outside of the siblings about making a will and making sure that the adult dependent is looked after. Dont worry about causing fights, its not your problem. Anyone who causes a fight in this situation can lump it.

ThrowAway8

Thank you for the response. This would be a very straightforward approach.

Fireworks is right! I really just think it’s mad there is no plan. I’m happy and settled in the far-off county of Mayo. I feel like I’m in a relatively non-threatening position, as I’m really tied to Mayo, so of all my siblings I can’t be accused of taking advantage. I’m just proactive about this type of stuff.

We are a very close family. I’ve seen what can happen to families when it comes to inheritance. The main goal is to discuss options and make optimal choices. The welfare of the vulnerable people in this is paramount...whilst also thinking long-term for family relations.

Thank you again.

blindside88

She needs to speak to 2 people first and foremost.

1) a solicitor to advise her if the difficulties and arguments that will definitely b caused by her passing away without a will
2) a good financial advisor that can advise her of a section 72 policy to cover the tax liability that her dependent son will have if he is left assets beyond his allowable treashold (which by the sounds of things he most likely will)

As you have said she is asset rich but not cash rich, she may want to consider liquidating some assets to free up cash flow for herself later in life, this will also allow her to leave her dependent son cash assets which could be managed in a trust for him as opposed to physical assets which can be harder manage.

The biggest piece of advise I can give you is to try and keep yourself out of the finer details and let it be known that you are to try and avoid family arguements (which are probably inevitable). Family and Money are like oil and water

ThrowAway8

Thanks huskerdu, there are indeed two different issues. And wouldn’t it be ideal if mum could get there herself while she’s still rather young. I just want to get the discussion going. She laments the fact that this difficult choice has been left to her.

Tell me how

ThrowAway8 wrote:

We are a very close family. I’ve seen what can happen to families when it comes to inheritance. The main goal is to discuss options and make optimal choices. The welfare of the vulnerable people in this is paramount...whilst also thinking long-term for family relations.

It is a minefield! Heartbreaking for parents if they see it happening before they go. (See thread on farm/siblings/sites for eyeopener) Expect some who may previously expressed no interest in her well-being in now appearing more often to ingratiate themselves with your mother. And again, it's not just siblings, it's the influence their partners have (understandably).

If possible identify a solicitor she trusts and leave it to her and them.

antix80

Might be an idea to liquidate and gift cash (and definitely land if any one needs a site) to her kids while she's still alive. I'm thinking the disabled child could get everything after her death as he can prove he's dependent whereas the others I'm assuming are not.

Mrs OBumble

What is the care plan for the dependent brother?

I'd start by talking to relevant disability support organisations about the legal and practical options. If he's expected to live a regular lifespan then possibly all the resources will be used providing for his care. Thing may be different if another family member is willing to become his caregiver though. And he likely is eligible for council housing in his own right if no assets are gifted to him before he's allocated a council property.