lonely bored with life

LegacyUser

I would appreciate some advice on what to do with my situation .I just turned 40 and I am living a very lonely boring life . I have been working and living in Waterford for almost 10 years and I have no social life whatsoever . I work shift which makes things even tougher. I have very few friends anyway and those that I do have live in other counties. With regards acquaintances , there is my immediate family and that's it. My parents moved around quite a bit when I was younger so I've never had that sense of belonging to a community. My parents also stayed away from cousins etc . I took a few weeks off work recently and it really compounds how empty my life really is. My life outside of work is literally , Gym , PS4, watch TV, surf net and that's it. My life is so empty and miserable right now that I have found myself hitting the drink hard which is not good . I really need a change I think. Potential ideas are getting a more normal working week job 9-5 in a more densely populated city like Dublin or Cork

dory

boredguy2018 wrote: »

Potential ideas are getting a more normal working week job 9-5 in a more densely populated city like Dublin or Cork

Sounds like a good plan. If you went to some kind of life coach they would ask you to write down what you want and how to get there. The two things you listed there would be great starts. Shift work is terrible for a number of reasons, so if you can get out of it do. Then you can join some sort of club - hiking or something. Maybe use some of the time spent online to find a new job with more sociable hours?

Little Less Conversation

Cork isn't too far from Waterford. You should definitely make the move. Sounds like a 9-5 job would suit you and you can download the meetup app and find groups you would be interested in for your time off.

Ursus Horribilis

This all looks very very familiar. You have posted about this very same issue at least once before.

I don't know what new advice anyone can give you. The only difference seems to be that you're older and still dreaming of moving in order to solve your problems. I can tell you right now that unless you make big changes to your life, it won't. While I appreciate that working shifts makes things harder for you, it's quite likely you're using it as an excuse. Friends and a social life aren't going to turn up on your doorstep - you've got to put in the effort. Have you tried to do anything in your 10 years in Waterford to make friends or have a social circle? I can't claim to know Waterford well at all but I'm sure that there are plenty of things to do. It does look like you're stuck in a rut and just can't get out of it.

What sort of rent are you paying in Waterford? Do you own your own place? Have you worked out how you'd survive financially if you moved to Dublin or Cork? Something tells me that you're at high risk of ending up posting something very like this in 5 years time, only you're stuck in a house-share or renting at extortionate costs in Cork or Dublin. You don't sound like you have a plan and I think that should be your first step.

Rubberchikken

When youre ready to make changes i think you will.
Its not easy to change job/home/city.
Doing it all.in one go mightnt be the best plan either.
My advice..start small. Yes you work shifts. But then so do many others.
What are you interested in? What could you do that would get you out for even an hour maybe a couple of times a week?

Addle

I agree with above.
Start with small changes.
Would you be able manage a course around work? Maybe something work could sponsor/allow time for? With the IT in Waterford, there must be lots going on.

You could be lonely in Dublin/Cork too OP. A good time isn't just going to happen. You have to make it happen for yourself.

Wanderer78

Is some counselling required or as others have said, a life couch? Moving may help, and equally may not help, start with yourself as others have said, there is plenty to do in waterford outside of the typical alcohol routes, make some changes, join some groups, then see about moving. Best of luck

_Brian

Without moving getting out of working nights would be a good start.

Then find s club you have interest in and join, walking, gardening, drama, cycling, water sports whatever you find interesting. Being with like minded people will spur on friendships and a social life.