Potential father estate

dands

Just to cut a long story short, my mother told me when I was younger that my dad was not my dad that someone else was, he never really wanted to know me but talked to my mam when he seen her around, he died by suicide nearly ten years ago and I started to only get to know his family after the funeral, I went to a family wedding and everyone was fine with me being there with taking pics and everything, but was told by this uncle that they went home after that and we’re comparing pics of me to my so called father, he also said they wanted a DNA test done to prove it and of course I said no problem and he is not on my birth cert but it never came about so we kind of drifted after that conversation and haven’t spoken or seen them in about 5 years, but only today it came up with a friend and my wife that maybe there was more to it that they lost contact with me for a reason, maybe he had more than they were saying and that’s why they lost contact with me, it was never proven but I believe my mother and trust her and I was told by my so called uncle (his brother) that he had a house and other things, where do I go or what do I need to do to find out anything I don’t know wether to go about it or not, if anyone has any advice please let me know, thank you in advance

Flibble

What do you want from these people?

A relationship with possible blood relatives or money?

I can understand why they would distance themselves from you if they got a whiff of you looking for a portion of his 'estate' to be divvied up to you.

I think you need to sort it your priorities first.

woodchuck

OP can you clarify what advice your looking for? It's not clear to me whether you're looking for advice about potential inheritance or if you want to find out why the family lost contact with you?

dublingirlx

Flibble wrote: »

What do you want from these people?

A relationship with possible blood relatives or money?

I can understand why they would distance themselves from you if they got a whiff of you looking for a portion of his 'estate' to be divvied up to you.

I think you need to sort it your priorities first.

That is awful. If this person it a blood relative to this man they are just as much entitled to his estate as the other members of the family. It's the law. :mad:

ESMITH29

dublingirlx wrote: »

That is awful. If this person it a blood relative to this man they are just as much entitled to his estate as the other members of the family. It's the law. :mad:

He's entitled to nothing, they've never been involved in this person's life. To think they are entitled to more than the people who actually had a relationship with his father and spent their entire life with him is madness.

dublingirlx

ESMITH29 wrote: »

He's entitled to nothing, they've never been involved in this person's life. To think they are entitled to more than the people who actually had a relationship with his father and spent their entire life with him is madness.

His father didn't want anything to do with him not the other way around :mad:

Emme

dublingirlx wrote: »

That is awful. If this person it a blood relative to this man they are just as much entitled to his estate as the other members of the family. It's the law. :mad:

It is the law but did the OP care for his supposed father in his final years? Did he make sacrifices to ensure his supposed father was comfortable in his final years? The man died by suicide so he may not have been an easy man to live with. His official family may have had to put up with a lot over the years. The man didn't want to have anything to do with the OP so if he was the real father he wasn't a very honourable man. A DNA test may indeed prove that the OP is the man's son but he would probably have a long expensive fight on his hands to get any of the estate.

Sometimes a man who is not a blood father but raises a child can be a more loving, caring and supportive "father" than the blood father would have been.

Oink

ESMITH29 wrote: »

He's entitled to nothing, they've never been involved in this person's life. To think they are entitled to more than the people who actually had a relationship with his father and spent their entire life with him is madness.

When you walk away from your family for whatever reason there is no box you can tick to also deprive them of their legal rights.

dublingirlx

Emme wrote: »

It is the law but did the OP care for his supposed father in his final years? Did he make sacrifices to ensure his supposed father was comfortable in his final years? The man died by suicide so he may not have been an easy man to live with. His official family may have had to put up with a lot over the years. The man didn't want to have anything to do with the OP so if he was the real father he wasn't a very honourable man. A DNA test may indeed prove that the OP is the man's son but he would probably have a long expensive fight on his hands to get any of the estate.

Sometimes a man who is not a blood father but raises a child can be a more loving, caring and supportive "father" than the blood father would have been.

I think the OP is asking a simple question here and yes the answer is that he is legally entitled to his late father's estate. None of us know the in's and out's of the circumstances so I don't know why people are so harsh. Law is law and black & white. Care does not come into it. Whether he cared for his father or not is irrelevant in the eyes of the law. To me this person is more than entitled to his rightful share of his late father's estate, just as much as his half siblings. At least they had their father around growing up. The OP didn't. It's sad really!

Mr. Incognito

If you are a biological child you are entitled to a share of the estate. End of,

If the father didnt make provision for you in his will you can take whats known as a section 117 application if they did not provide for you during their lifetime.

Speak to a solicitor

dands

He left my mother before I was even born, it has nothing to do with money or anything I am not that sort of person to say that I want everything now because he died, it’s about principle, he knew he was my father and choose that path to walk down, yes his family wanted to know me at the time and invited me to weddings but that all changed when they started comparing me in pics to him in pics to see any resemblance, and then the dna test was asked about and of course I did oblige to do it and when I was asking when it was getting done they would just keep saying soon but then they started getting distant to the fact they haven’t seen or heard from me in 5 years, but I am just asking what can I do, do I go and ask about him and find out if he did have anything, he has no other children only me, so that’s why I’m asking

wiggle16

If he made no provision in his will, then as his child you would be entitled to a share of his estate.

It sounds quite fishy OP. If there was anything inherit it was obviously divvied up long ago and I would wonder if the family are now worried about that, since if they knew you existed and told the solicitor he had no children... you can see where that might leave them legally.

I'd second the advice to speak to a solicitor.

Emme

dands wrote: »

He left my mother before I was even born, it has nothing to do with money or anything I am not that sort of person to say that I want everything now because he died, it’s about principle, he knew he was my father and choose that path to walk down, yes his family wanted to know me at the time and invited me to weddings but that all changed when they started comparing me in pics to him in pics to see any resemblance, and then the dna test was asked about and of course I did oblige to do it and when I was asking when it was getting done they would just keep saying soon but then they started getting distant to the fact they haven’t seen or heard from me in 5 years, but I am just asking what can I do, do I go and ask about him and find out if he did have anything, he has no other children only me, so that’s why I’m asking

Was he married? If not then that's why the family might have distanced themselves from you. Get legal advice.

Dial Hard

dands wrote:

it has nothing to do with money or anything I am not that sort of person to say that I want everything now because he died, it’s about principle... I am just asking what can I do, do I go and ask about him and find out if he did have anything

If it's not about money then what difference does it make whether or not he "had" anything??? I'm not having a go, I'm genuinely wondering what it is you actually want from this scenario?

seamus

wiggle16 wrote: »

It sounds quite fishy OP. If there was anything inherit it was obviously divvied up long ago and I would wonder if the family are now worried about that, since if they knew you existed and told the solicitor he had no children... you can see where that might leave them legally.

Yeah, this could be the reason the distance was made. If he died intestate, then they would have become aware that as the only child, the OP would stand to inherit everything unchallenged.

If they keep it to themselves, then they can divide the estate up by themselves. Hence the questions about DNA tests, and then the distance when they realise that a positive test means they inherit nothing.

It's one thing if they're unaware of the OP's existence and inherit the estate. It's another entirely if they're aware another inheritor exists but seek to exclude them. That's a criminal offence.

The fact that the man is not on the birth cert and that he's deceased means a DNA test is more difficult, but it's worth discussing your options with a solicitor.

_Whimsical_

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

If you are a biological child you are entitled to a share of the estate. End of,

If the father didnt make provision for you in his will you can take whats known as a section 117 application if they did not provide for you during their lifetime.

Speak to a solicitor

I looked up section 117 and it says that the OP will have to undergo a needs test. What if he's financially secure now? Will the fact that his father never provided for him be a factor ?

dands

Dial Hard wrote: »

If it's not about money then what difference does it make whether or not he "had" anything??? I'm not having a go, I'm genuinely wondering what it is you actually want from this scenario?

To see if the family are lying about anything, I could not care if he was a homeless man off the street with nothing I would still want to know because at the end of the day he was still my father and I am still his son wether he walked away or not, his family wanted to know me one minute then dropped me like a hot snot the next so what way would you feel, your father didn’t want to know you then he walked away before you existed then when he dies his family find out and want me in their lives then they walk away, so could you tell me what way you would react in this situation having mixed feelings about a family that want you then don’t want you and are probably hiding something

Mr. Incognito

_Whimsical_ wrote: »

I looked up section 117 and it says that the OP will have to undergo a needs test. What if he's financially secure now? Will the fact that his father never provided for him be a factor ?

http://www.irishstatutebook.ie/eli/1965/act/27/section/117/enacted/en/html

Its not about a needs test. Its whether the parent made proper provision during the childs life.

Clearly a contribution of 0.00 is not proper provision.

Dial Hard

dands wrote:

To see if the family are lying about anything, I could not care if he was a homeless man off the street... so could you tell me what way you would react in this situation having mixed feelings about a family that want you then don’t want you and are probably hiding something

No I can't tell you how I'd react because I have no idea, but I certainly don't think that knowing if he was loaded would make anything any easier to deal with.

You posted in PI, not Legal Discussion so I'm trying to tease out your feelings as I would with anyone else here.

You have two potential outcomes here: he had money or he was as poor as a church mouse. Have you thought about what (if anything) you do in each scenario. Again, what difference does either outcome make *to you*? That's not a rhetorical, throwaway question; I think you should genuinely think about where the answers you get leave you. You keep saying this is about your dad and not his family, so whether you find out A or B, what does that mean for your opinion of/mental relationship with him?

Electric Sheep

dands wrote: »

he has no other children only me, so that’s why I’m asking

While it is possible that your father had no other children, in my experience the kind of man who abandoned a child before it is even born has a tendency to have done that more than once in his life. It's quite likely that you have half siblings that you are not aware of. This could end up with you finding and having relationships with "new" siblings,and could add quite a lot of love and friendship to your life.

I hope you DO challenge the estate, and are successful. I am sure you would love to be able to use that money to make life easier for your father and step father, who brought you up with no input, financial or emotional, from your deadbeat father.

Best of luck - your father abandoned you, but your step father literally "stepped" up to the plate, and kudos to him for doing what your "father" was not man enough to do.

ted1

dublingirlx wrote: »

His father didn't want anything to do with him not the other way around :mad:

it sounds like the OP had a father, the person who died is a biological sperm donor and not the OPs father.

the OPs father is the man who reared him.

dands

My step father did bring me up and I will always be very grateful that he did and love him for the rest of my dying days, but he passed away 15 years ago too, I never wanted to put him through it when he was alive but there answers that I need answering, my step father will always be my father no matter what the outcome is

seamus

dands wrote: »

so could you tell me what way you would react in this situation having mixed feelings about a family that want you then don’t want you and are probably hiding something

So, you've gotten the legal advice above, but the question still stands about what you're really looking for here.

I'm not asking whether you're chasing money. I'm asking what it is, in general, that you want to achieve. If you snapped your fingers right now and could make it happen, what do you want?. Answers?

It's quite likely they're hiding the fact that they have knowingly disinherited you. But if you don't really care about that, but you do want to know who your father was, what he was like, etc,. then you will need to continue trying to chase up the family. Going directly to the uncle may not work, but any cousins you may have, may yield better results.

If you go the legal route mentioned above, you can be very sure that any prospect of discovering more about your biological father, is gone.

Electric Sheep

seamus wrote: »

So, you've gotten the legal advice above, but the question still stands about what you're really looking for here.

I'm not asking whether you're chasing money. I'm asking what it is, in general, that you want to achieve. If you snapped your fingers right now and could make it happen, what do you want?. Answers?

It's quite likely they're hiding the fact that they have knowingly disinherited you. But if you don't really care about that, but you do want to know who your father was, what he was like, etc,. then you will need to continue trying to chase up the family. Going directly to the uncle may not work, but any cousins you may have, may yield better results.

If you go the legal route mentioned above, you can be very sure that any prospect of discovering more about your biological father, is gone.

I doubt there is much more to be known about his father - his family knowingly disinheriting the OP tells you all about the family that needs to be known.

wiggle16

seamus wrote: »

Yeah, this could be the reason the distance was made. If he died intestate, then they would have become aware that as the only child, the OP would stand to inherit everything unchallenged.

If they keep it to themselves, then they can divide the estate up by themselves. Hence the questions about DNA tests, and then the distance when they realise that a positive test means they inherit nothing.

It's one thing if they're unaware of the OP's existence and inherit the estate. It's another entirely if they're aware another inheritor exists but seek to exclude them. That's a criminal offence.

The fact that the man is not on the birth cert and that he's deceased means a DNA test is more difficult, but it's worth discussing your options with a solicitor.

That's exactly what I mean. I should add that what I think is more important is that, if your father had an estate to inherit, and they knowingly omitted you when finalising his affairs, then they are not the kind of people you probably want to have a relationship with.

We are of course just speculating and we don't know if the man had a pot to p*ss in, and if he did we don't know if he willed it to the cat's and dog's home. But the uncle suddenly deciding that you should prove that are who you say you are is just a bit off, seeing how if someone dies childless and intestate, the siblings are the first in line to inherit.

dands

Can I do anything about it after all this time though, it’s almost 10 years in January

Emme

dands wrote: »

Can I do anything about it after all this time though, it’s almost 10 years in January

A solicitor will answer that question for you.

dands

Ok thank you

Rachiee

It sounds to me like you are looking for reasons as to why the extended family cut contact with you, after you made the effort with them.
It is no doubt hurtful and perhaps you've found your answer and it may have been related to the estate....or perhaps OP they just weren't that interested, they had their own lives and their own families and it just wasn't that big a deal to them.
I know that's harsh and hurtful but really what I'm saying is if you are looking for a reason why they don't seem to want you in their lives there might not be one. Particularly given that they only lost contact with you five years after the death, the estate was likely sorted three years before that so unlikely they stopped speaking to you to deliberately disinherit you.
Sometimes there aren't answers in life and you just have to accept things, I doubt making a claim on a ten year estate of your father will make you feel better about the disinterest your uncle has shown you. whatever happens try not to take it personally, easier said than done though I know.

woodchuck

dands wrote: »

Can I do anything about it after all this time though, it’s almost 10 years in January

As already advised, you'll need to talk to a solicitor about your legal rights. However even if you can, that doesn't mean you should. As you said, 10 years have passed. So at this stage any money will already have been divided up among the rest of the family. Whoever it went to, they've probably already used it to pay off loans, put a deposit on a house or god knows what else. What would you expect from them 10 years after the money has already been used? Do you think they should go into debt and/or risk losing their house to give you the money? Even if you're legally entitled to it, I think it's a very grey area morally. Personally I wouldn't persue it.

LegacyUser

dands wrote: »

there answers that I need answering,

Assume you mean questions you need answering.

Have you thought about, OP, what happens when you don't like the answer you get? Legal stuff needs to be looked at via a solicitor but if you are looking for personal answer about your father, his relationship towards you or other siblings you may or may not have there's a very high chance you won't get those answers or the answers are going to be a lot less complex or deep than what you are probably after. Why did he walk away? There could be a complex reason but there's also a very high chance he was just a ass who didn't care and didn't think/talk about you once after walking away. Have you spoken to your GP about speaking to a mental health professional about the personal side of things?

.......

wiggle16 wrote: »

...if your father had an estate to inherit, and they knowingly omitted you when finalising his affairs, then they are not the kind of people you probably want to have a relationship with.

But if no DNA test has ever been done and the man is not named on the OPs birth cert, how could they knowingly have done anything.

It is not known that the OP is this mans child. It is suspected, but not confirmed.

OP - even if it is proven that you are related to this man, what exactly would you expect to happen here?

Do you think that people who inherited from him are going to have to stump up money to you now, 10 years later? How exactly? That money is gone now.

All you would be doing would be putting a bunch of strangers under financial strain for your own benefit - why would you do that?

wiggle16

....... wrote: »

But if no DNA test has ever been done and the man is not named on the OPs birth cert, how could they knowingly have done anything.

It is not known that the OP is this mans child. It is suspected, but not confirmed.

Correct, unless the father told his family that he did in fact have a child, which he may have well done. They invited OP to a family wedding without a second thought. Then suddenly the uncle wants proof. As I say, we are all just speculating though. The OP is being very unclear as to the circumstances of making contact with them and whether his existence came as a surprise.

Im in agreement with you and Woodchuck though. I don't think there's any point in pursuing this and if it were me I wouldn't want anything to do with it. He's ten years dead.

OP I'm sorry but 30+ posts into the thread and I still don't know what you want. Money? Contact? Assurance there was nothing to inherit? You say you want answers... well I'm not being cheeky but what are the questions??

Electric Sheep

wiggle16 wrote: »

OP I'm sorry but 30+ posts into the thread and I still don't know what you want. Money? Contact? Assurance there was nothing to inherit? You say you want answers... well I'm not being cheeky but what are the questions??

I'd imagine one of the questions is why did his father think it was OK to ignore his existence and leave his mother with no financial or emotional support in bringing him up. Wouldn't you want an explanation for that?

Electric Sheep

woodchuck wrote: »

As already advised, you'll need to talk to a solicitor about your legal rights. However even if you can, that doesn't mean you should. As you said, 10 years have passed. So at this stage any money will already have been divided up among the rest of the family. Whoever it went to, they've probably already used it to pay off loans, put a deposit on a house or god knows what else. What would you expect from them 10 years after the money has already been used? Do you think they should go into debt and/or risk losing their house to give you the money? Even if you're legally entitled to it, I think it's a very grey area morally. Personally I wouldn't persue it.

Actually, I would expect them to come up with the money. They knowingly left the OP out of his inheritance, there should be heavy consequences for that. There is no point in pulling the "ah sure what harm" card when deliberate harm was caused.

.......

Electric Sheep wrote: »

I'd imagine one of the questions is why did his father think it was OK to ignore his existence and leave his mother with no financial or emotional support in bringing him up. Wouldn't you want an explanation for that?

How would you expect the family of a dead man to know the answer to that?

.......

Electric Sheep wrote: »

Actually, I would expect them to come up with the money. They knowingly left the OP out of his inheritance, there should be heavy consequences for that. There is no point in pulling the "ah sure what harm" card when deliberate harm was caused.

Again, nothing is known without a DNA test.

The OP is also not aware of the details of any inheritance, he may have died with nothing.

Electric Sheep

OP, to get access to the will (if there was one), instructions are here:

http://www.courts.ie/Courts.ie/Library3.nsf/pagecurrent/B4C951B57339C2C98025810F0057286D?opendocument

lulu1

dands wrote: »

He left my mother before I was even born, it has nothing to do with money or anything I am not that sort of person to say that I want everything now because he died, it’s about principle, he knew he was my father and choose that path to walk down, yes his family wanted to know me at the time and invited me to weddings but that all changed when they started comparing me in pics to him in pics to see any resemblance, and then the dna test was asked about and of course I did oblige to do it and when I was asking when it was getting done they would just keep saying soon but then they started getting distant to the fact they haven’t seen or heard from me in 5 years, but I am just asking what can I do, do I go and ask about him and find out if he did have anything, he has no other children only me, so that’s why I’m asking

OP do you really want anything from a man who left your mother when she was pregnant and then didnt want anything to do with you. I know I wouldnt.
You did without anything this far in your life, you will make it the rest. Hold your head up high and let the relatives keep it if the need it that much

votecounts

lulu1 wrote: »

OP do you really want anything from a man who left your mother when she was pregnant and then didnt want anything to do with you. I know I wouldnt.
You did without anything this far in your life, you will make it the rest. Hold your head up high and let the relatives keep it if the need it that much

Totally agree with this post. I would not want anything from a man who did want anything to do with me.

dands

I really do appreciate all the comments I have got from this post, I have carefully thought about my decision on what to do and I have decided not to pursue it, it’s been almost 10 years and I have been living my own life up to now and not needing anything from anyone, I guess it was mostly just down to hurt and not being recognized by someone that is supposed to love you and want you, mostly hurt I would say, but I’m not going to let them get me down I’m just going to move on with my life with my own kids and beautiful wife, at the end of the day I’ve never needed anything from them and never will so thank you for all your comments and suggestions on what to do, thank you again and I wish you all joy and happiness in your life ����������❤️❤️

votecounts

Good decision OP

.......

You made the right decision OP.

Why bring the stress of a legal battle on yourself, your mental health is worth more than any money.

Best of luck

Ursus Horribilis

There also the risk that the only winners of it would be the lawyers.

professore

In many countries it is the father on the birth cert is the only person you can inherit from, even if he is not the biological father. In France paternity testing is illegal.

Electric Sheep

professore wrote: »

In many countries it is the father on the birth cert is the only person you can inherit from, even if he is not the biological father. In France paternity testing is illegal.

Paternity testing illegal. That's crazy. You can buy DNA tests in the drugstore here in the US.

wiggle16

OP

Since your issue appears to have been resolved, I'm going to close thread now. Best of luck.