Coping with long term mental illness

currooney

So, I've been suffering bouts of depressive episodes since I was about 13/14 (Now 20). I always knew there was something a bit different with me and that it was more than just the teenage years. Since leaving school in 2016, these bouts have become longer and more unbearable. To top it all off, this summer I was the first on the scene of a fatal road accident in which someone known to me died. As a result, I have been suffering low mood, post traumatic stress and major anxiety. The anxiety is affecting my everyday life and causing me to miss quite a bit of college. I attended counselling in my home town but havent been able to go since the before the academic term began since I live away for college.
I finally bit the bullet last week and booked an appointment with the college doctor who prescribed Lexapro to me and referred me to the college counselling service as an urgent case. The next day I had an appointment with a psychotherapist.

By now, I've accepted this as part of who I am and I'm realising that it's something I will most likely have to deal with for the rest of my life. I don't know how I am going to go through my life with this constant burden. It's like I'm sick but no one can see.
I also feel compelled to share all this with everyone I'm close with because if i don't, I'm hiding a massive part of me. Everyone preaches about how important it is to talk and open up but in my experience, people end up feeling awkward and don't want to talk about it any longer.

I'm sorry I havent really included a question as such. I suppose I'm looking for advice from anyone who has dealt with long term mental health issues.

Rubberchikken

Im helping a family member deal with long term mental illness and its not easy for them to deal with.
Youre right to get help. How long youll need the help for is unknown but engaging with it is the first step.

Some people.are able to listen and understand otjets cant. As time goes on youll discover who.to share your issues with. In the meantime go easy.on yourself and do all you can to get to a better healthy place.

LegacyUser

You're not alone, that's the first thing. There are thousands of people in Ireland going through the same or similar.

Second, depression/mental health is part of who you are, but it's not ALL of who you are. Don't define yourself by it, nor let it'd be your main selling point. You have positive attributes& hobbies- be known for & develop those.

Third, longterm, lean more on professionals& expert services for support- they're trained& paid to deal with this,& realistically your troubles will be daily versus a once-off thing every few years. Family& friends are grand in theory, but they're going through challenges of their own& need to care for their own mental health.

Fourth, get involved in exercise, any type. It released endorphins.

Fifth, spend time out& about. Volunteer- anything that involves focusing on others, thinking about others, helping others.
Let your focus be outwards, not onwards.

Sixth, remember you're Irish! We're prone to the black dog, but also black humour! & we're a hardy bunch really.

currooney

Rubberchikken wrote: »

Im helping a family member deal with long term mental illness and its not easy for them to deal with.
Youre right to get help. How long youll need the help for is unknown but engaging with it is the first step.

Some people.are able to listen and understand otjets cant. As time goes on youll discover who.to share your issues with. In the meantime go easy.on yourself and do all you can to get to a better healthy place.

Thanks for your reply and fair play on helping out your family member, they're lucky to have you.
I definitely depend on my boyfriend and one particular close friend of mine because of course I don't see a therapist everyday. I know its draining for them to have to deal with and sometimes I'm so consumed with my own problems that I slack on providing them support. I'm more aware of this now and I don't expect them to console me or cousell in any way. It just helps to have someone listen and know what's going through my head, even if they don't know what to say back.

currooney

Zdxcx wrote: »

You're not alone, that's the first thing. There are thousands of people in Ireland going through the same or similar.

Second, depression/mental health is part of who you are, but it's not ALL of who you are. Don't define yourself by it, nor let it'd be your main selling point. You have positive attributes& hobbies- be known for & develop those.

Third, longterm, lean more on professionals& expert services for support- they're trained& paid to deal with this,& realistically your troubles will be daily versus a once-off thing every few years. Family& friends are grand in theory, but they're going through challenges of their own& need to care for their own mental health.

Fourth, get involved in exercise, any type. It released endorphins.

Fifth, spend time out& about. Volunteer- anything that involves focusing on others, thinking about others, helping others.
Let your focus be outwards, not onwards.

Sixth, remember you're Irish! We're prone to the black dog, but also black humour! & we're a hardy bunch really.

Thank you, you've included some really good advice. I agree with your comment about seeing professionals. I'm worried about where I'll be once I've exhausted my number of sessions with the college counselling service, which will be around Christmas time. I'm not in a position that allows me to pay for similar services even though I feel like I need to see someone on the regular.
I'm hoping that the lexapro kicks in soon and gives me some sort of relief. I haven't told my parents about any of this so I'm paying for Dr appointments and prescriptions myself which is tough.