Dumped out of the blue

LegacyUser

My boyfriend of 15 months just dumped me out of the blue. He sent me a text yesterday whilst I was out for dinner. Not even to my face. He has decided in the last 4 weeks he doesn’t feel in love with me so it’s just over.

I’m devastated. I thought we were together forever. I had no warnings that this was coming, he even admitted that.

I don’t know what to do. It’s so sudden that yesterday morning he text me he loved me and by 6pm it was all over. It doesn’t seem real.

I can’t imagine getting over this. - I thought we were going to get married. I can’t stop crying. He is a lovely guy and I love him but how could he just get rid of me like this, there was no room for discussion, I’m just gone. I can’t bear to think of life without him.

Teyla Emmagan

He doesn't sound like a lovely guy, he sounds like an asshole. I am sorry you are so upset but better finding out now then in 5 years time with 2 little kids. Lovely people do not break up with long term partners by text.

Ursus Horribilis

I agree - he's not that "lovely" if his way of ending a relationship is to send two very different texts in the space of 12 hours. I wonder what was behind the morning one. Guilt? Though going by some of the threads that have been here recently, you're lucky he didn't ghost you :rolleyes:

The only thing he's doing right here is closing the door to further discussion. If he has fallen out of love with you, ending the relationship is the right thing to do. What good would a discussion do? Would it descend into tears, begging and promising the sun, moon and stars?

The advice regularly given here is to cut contact with an ex once the relationship ends. That's probably already the case here and in the long-term you'll be hapy about it. Break-ups are hurtful and the less messy you can make them, the better. Staying in contact with an ex in any way (in person/on social media) is the equivalent of picking at a scab.

You're going to find a way to get over this. At the moment you're in shock and why wouldn't you be? It's the oldest cliché in the book but time is a healer. You will start to feel better in the future. For now, be kind to yourself. Go spend time with your family and friends. Keep yourself busy. Treat yourself and try to do things that'll make you feel a little better.

TheBoyConor

It's a pretty crappy situation to be in.
He went about it very poorly And hurtfully but at the end of the day he had made his position clear. The relationship is ended.
The best thing you can do now is just try put the whole thing behind you and move on with your life.

ted1

Sounds like you dodged a bullet, good thing he was only a bf and not a husband

My ex did this after a year together. I was completely gobsmacked, no indication whatsoever that it was coming. Two days later he regretted it, claimed he was under stress in college and I stupidly took him back.

Fast forward another 5 years and we're living together, everything seems great til once again out of the blue he decides he wants out. Believe me it's much harder at that point when your lives are so intertwined and you have to start over again.

Guys who do this clearly have emotional issues or are holding back from the relationship. You deserve better and you can find it now that he's out of your life. I know it hurts but you really are better off without him.

shamrock55

Sounds like an absolute dick, good people don't do things like that by txt