Living away, miss home

I'm 26/male moved to London 2.5 years ago to be with my better half. 

Our relationship has only gotten better as it gave us the chance to live together where we wouldn't have had we stayed. We've only gotten closer since then. My career has also springboarded as a result of the opportunities here in my industry. 

Lately I can't help but miss home a lot and would love to move back, I miss my family and seeing my neices and nephews grow up, and also the calm of where I lived compared to here. I would have a fair amount prospects back home but my girlfriend doesn't have the same options. While I do enjoy it here I find myself thinking of going back whenever my mind has a minute to wander. 

What would you do here? I can maybe do another year but am finding it overwhelming at the thoughts of staying indefinitely. I love my girlfriend more than anything and don't ever want her to uproot what she's built here for what could be a really limiting option.

lulu1

Probably not the answer you want to hear. Ireland is only less than an hour away and flights are not that expensive maybe you could try coming home every month to see how it goes

joeguevara

If you book your flights in advance (more than a month) you will get unbelievable deals. You would probably see them more than if you were in Dublin and they were down the country. Also with FaceTime and WhatsApp it feels like you are in the next town rather than a different country. Also, it is quicker to get from London to home than it would be from let’s say Donegal to tipp.

So, if that’s the issue then it’s not the bad. Is there something else at play? If it’s you can’t stand London (which as someone who lived and worked there I can understand) then that won’t go away unless you try and integrate better.

Or are you trying to put an obstacle to your relationship. You say your relationships has gotten better but then say you don’t want to uproot her. Which in essence means that you would leave and not expect her to come.

So you need to think about it. I love my family, especially my nephews but I wouldn’t throw away a relationship with the one just to see them go to football matches and a few family get together. On the other hand if it wasn’t the one and I wasn’t that happy, then I would come home.

I suppose that’s what you really need to think about.

Arrival

You're in London, not Hong Kong. You can fly home for really cheaply regularly, lots of Irish people in the UK do this. You definitely need to speak with your girlfriend about this either way, but honestly you shouldn't be rushing home if you've both got a good lifestyle and prospects there because you'd more than likely get home and settle back into quite a quiet and placid life and miss the thrills at your disposal in such a great city as London

LegacyUser

Arrival wrote: »

You're in London, not Hong Kong. You can fly home for really cheaply regularly, lots of Irish people in the UK do this. You definitely need to speak with your girlfriend about this either way, but honestly you shouldn't be rushing home if you've both got a good lifestyle and prospects there because you'd more than likely get home and settle back into quite a quiet and placid life and miss the thrills at your disposal in such a great city as London

As a person who experienced this it might as well be hong kong to be honest.

I moved to the UK with an ex also year ago, I didn't really want to go but she did and we both were going out a few years and felt we wanted to continue our lives together. She had siblings moved over and really wanted to move over and could see her life there but I on the other hand really couldn't.

I absolutely hated it, the big city, the being away from home, the pace of life, the missing out on things at home and really the fact it simply wasn't Ireland or home. I flew home about once a month and for weeks at at time during christmas, easter etc but I couldn't stick it and I moved home after just exactly 1 year. The feeling of happiness I felt leaving was immense. My ex had no interest in going back so after about a year of doing the distance thing (a mistake we should have ended it when I left) we broke up.

Now on moving home it was the recession big time so I ended up living at home a few months but had to move a few hours away but within Ireland for work. This was totally different, I was in Ireland and felt at home even if it wasn't my home area, I could go home every weekend, I could decide on a whim if I was going home or not, could hop in the car and drive home mid-week if I felt like it. I was able to get back meeting my friends at weekends and getting involved in things around the local area etc and I was very happy.

I'm now a decent few years back, happily married and starting the process of actually moving right back to my home area next to my parents and where most of my group of friends have settled down, I can't wait. I dread with I think back to my time living in the UK if I'm perfectly honest.

PressRun

I've spent time living abroad for different reasons over the years and I totally understand the feeling of just not being 'at home'. It doesn't matter if it's London or Hong Kong, if you feel alienated by the lifestyle, the pace of things, the people, the culture, etc., it can just be really difficult to settle. Some people find it very easy to find a home away from home, so to speak, and for others there really is no other place like home, and while it can seem simple to just jump on a flight when you want to see family, it just isn't the same as being settled in a certain place.

I don't know what to tell you, OP. You've been in London 2 and a half years and it doesn't seem to be getting easier for you. Have you spoken at all to your girlfriend about this? How does she feel about living there indefinitely?