Domestic Violence Next Door

JupiterKid

Well, what would you do?

I've been well aware that the occupants of the apartment above me are loud and noisy and have the occasional fight, but during the past week I've heard disquieting noises from above. Furniture thrown and shouts and screams.

I'm thinking of calling the cops the next time this happens, but in fairness what can they do? And also I don't want to alienate them as I say hallo to them many days. I've thought of calling my neighbour that I get on with very well in the apartment on the top floor but he hears very little and I'm not sure.

Anyone else concerned about the welfare of their neighbours? Or should I stay totally out?

CinemaGuy45

JupiterKid wrote: »

Or should I stay totally out?

Edit if they find out it was you that rang the guards you might be sorry.

Twenty Grand

If it sounds dangerous call the guards.

Don't get involved youself as you don't know what you're getting into.

Roger Hassenforder

If i thought someone was getting smacked around, i'd call the cops.

jamesbere

If you can record it do that, then call the guards. Complain about noise pollution from apartment upstairs, if there's something more going on the gardai might sniff it out

Pauliedragon

http://whatwouldyoudo.ie/?gclid=CjwKCAjwo_HdBRBjEiwAiPPXpLHy21EOWKcEW4peOlQE5x0TfT3mcMToAvjKnu4Ff7AbjJwPEJii7RoCuB4QAvD_BwE

riffmongous

It's a tough situation, but morally you've got to call the cops

Demonique

Couple of years ago I reported an extremely aggressive argument (complete with sounds of things being thrown) in the house next door to the guards. As I was leaving to go to my parents home for the weekend I saw 6 guards leaving the house.

Hitman3000

You can call the guards and not have your identity known. Could you deal with it if one of them was seriously injured by the other knowing you might have been able to stop it. I know I couldn't tbh.

freshpopcorn

Once you belived something was going on your best option might be to call the Gardai!
Personally myself I'd probably call them if I felt there was an issue. I wouldn't label everybody as abusers compared to some people tough.




Read the link here if you are looking for advice!
http://whatwouldyoudo.ie/?gclid=CjwKCAjwo_HdBRBjEiwAiPPXpHEhXBsIqW7mnADj31O0q7goZzCJ6HljeVY-XcjyuwiyMFXfCrMWKhoC6v0QAvD_BwE

Pauliedragon

I remember a friend of mine over in Sydney called the cops once on some madness going on next door. An issue arose because after the cops left the apartment they knocked on his door to thank him for callling them so his neighbour knew who made the initial call which made things very uncomortable in the apt block. I hope the police take this into consideration over here and make sure any call they do receive stays anonymous.

JupiterKid

Thanks for the feedback people. I think the next time it happens I will call the guards. But the thing is, the occupants in the apt above will be sure to think it was me who made the call. That will make it very uncomfortable. But I have a moral obligation to do something.

A bit more context - they are a couple with no kids and he's in his early 60s - Irish and from the local area - and she is about 15 years younger and Thai. Very pleasant and sweet when I occasionally meet her in the mornings or evenings. He also drinks quite a lot - I hear him throw beer bottles into a bin in his balcony every 1/2 hour most nights and as a recovering alcoholic myself I know the pattern of heavy drinking very well. They also own their apartment and are not renting.

Rubberchikken

Best to report it if you feel someones being possibly abused.
Worrying about saying hello in corridor to an abuser would be non existent in my world.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Too bad if someone is uncomfortable with being reported for beating up someone else in their own home. The abuser doesn’t seem to give any consideration to the fact you can hear what’s going on, you owe him nothing

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

You could, if youre more comfortable, give her the details for women’s aid or the local domestic violence support, she may not have anywhere to go and the guards aren’t going to protect her all night. She would need a protection order or a barring order and those shelters could help her with that.

Leroy CoolS Wiper

Leroy CoolS Wiper wrote: »

Too bad if someone is uncomfortable with being reported for beating up someone else in their own home. The abuser doesn’t seem to give any consideration to the fact you can hear what’s going on, you owe him nothing

Leroy CoolS Wiper wrote: »

You could, if youre more comfortable, give her the details for women’s aid or the local domestic violence support, she may not have anywhere to go and the guards aren’t going to protect her all night. She would need a protection order or a barring order and those shelters could help her with that.

Interesting point, unfortunately the victim is often the last one to be aware there's even a problem in the first place. Example, I remember a few years back some neanderthal was slapping his girlfriend around on the street. Two guys (German tourists for what it's worth) intervened and told your man in no uncertain terms to cut it out, and they were prepared to get physical with him themselves if he didn't. However the most aggressive party turned out to be the woman herself defending this jackass, putting her own body to shield him "how dare you threaten my boyfriend", making physical threats herself, and so on.

In total agreement with your other point though, it's the man's business to feel uncomfortable around his neighbours, not the OP. He's the one abusing his partner and disturbing the peace, it's not the OP's place to feel somehow awkward in his own home.

Ultimately though it has to be the victim's choice to remove herself from the situation, and that's even more difficult since she's from Thailand and probably less familiar with "the lay of the land" as they say. Pulling her to one side and saying "your man's bit of a bastard isn't he?" might only be repeated back to the abuser and not do her any favours either.

I'd say call the guards OP, I don't know what they can or will do, but at the end of the day if something more sinister happens it won't be on your conscience for doing nothing and it'll be on the record that the problem was known and out there on someone's radar.

Captain Obvious

Call the Gardaí when it is happening. Tell them why you think there is violence. They can call to the house and check on the welfare of the person involved. Unfortunately, unless she decides to take some action there is not much more can be done for her.

RabbleRouser2k

Are you sure it's a man hitting a woman? Could it be the woman hitting the man? Like, have you seen any bruising on either one?

Are there children there too?

seamus

It is a tough one. My sister in law has the same conundrum, where a couple below her have pitched screaming matches every other day.

I think they've had the Gardai called on them, and that's calmed it for a while. But - as is the case in most domestic problems - one is as bad as the other and there's no assault. So what can you do?

If you're "happy" that it's not one partner abusing another and rather it's just screaming matches between the pair of them, then you can really only treat like any other noisy and anti-social neighbour.

If you're in an apartment block, you could raise it with the management agent. If they make it a "noise complaint", then that might be enough to warn the neighbour that everyone can hear them, but without the seriousness of a Garda visit.

Roger Hassenforder

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Interesting point, unfortunately the victim is often the last one to be aware there's even a problem in the first place. Example, I remember a few years back some neanderthal was slapping his girlfriend around on the street. Two guys (German tourists for what it's worth) intervened and told your man in no uncertain terms to cut it out, and they were prepared to get physical with him themselves if he didn't. However the most aggressive party turned out to be the woman herself defending this jackass, putting her own body to shield him "how dare you threaten my boyfriend", making physical threats herself, and so on.

We intervened in one such incident one night, a few years when walking from Salthill into Gakway.

It was your wan that went for us.

arybvtcw0eolkf

Next time its happening call the guards.

Never feel bad about doing the right thing.

begbysback

JupiterKid wrote: »

A bit more context - they are a couple with no kids and he's in his early 60s - Irish and from the local area - and she is about 15 .

Am I the only one that spit out his coffee at this point?

Deebles McBeebles

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

We intervened in one such incident one night, a few years when walking from Salthill into Gakway.

It was your wan that went for us.

Even scumbags deserve equality.

Cienciano

JupiterKid wrote: »

But the thing is, the occupants in the apt above will be sure to think it was me who made the call. That will make it very uncomfortable.

Just casually deny it if it ever comes up in conversation.