New "Easter Bonus" for Social Welfare

BumChum

Rumour floating around for those "in the know". Starting 2019, all welfare recipients will be receiving between 100 and 130 euro per adult (with a further 25 euro per child).

The idea is to alleviate the pressures many families face during this holiday season, so they say.

Heres the best bit: For those overweight, they will receive an extra 25 cent per gram above normal BMI while newly arrived irish will also receive a free course on how to eat curved chocolate in anticipation of the holiday.

The campaign will initially be rolled out across the country west to east, but upon hitting the midlands it will take a north to north-west by south direction. Due to be fully implemented by Easter Sunday.

Theres also the new "Easter Tax" to be announced for everyone else, but I'll detail that later.

Thoughts?

FTA69

Anyone starting dole threads should be belted with a shovel. That's my thoughts.

Rubberchikken

I wait with bated breath for your next insightful exclusive update.

jacksie66

This post has been deleted.

bassy

BumChum wrote: »

Rumour floating around for those "in the know". Starting 2019, all welfare recipients will be receiving between 100 and 130 euro per adult (with a further 25 euro per child).

The idea is to alleviate the pressures many families face during this holiday season, so they say.

Heres the best bit: For those overweight, they will receive an extra 25 cent per gram above normal BMI while newly arrived irish will also receive a free course on how to eat curved chocolate in anticipation of the holiday.

The campaign will initially be rolled out across the country west to east, but upon hitting the midlands it will take a north to north-west by south direction. Due to be fully implemented by Easter Sunday.

Theres also the new "Easter Tax" to be announced for everyone else, but I'll detail that later.

Thoughts?

Your name suits you well and the thread.

Jim Bob Scratcher

Philosophy Zombie

FTA69 wrote: »

Anyone starting dole threads should be belted with a shovel. That's my thoughts.

Another SW thread.

Defenestration would be my method.

*wipes spittle from monitor*

BumChum

jacksie66 wrote: »

Poor attempt mate, 2/10

I have it on excellent authority that its a 7/10. Check your sources.

I'm in favour of a robust social welfare system, by the by, but the dourness of the replies to the joke has sucked the fun out of it, much like a liberal sprinkling of lemon juice on your ma's whoopsie-doodle before doing the business