Why is life such a struggle

LegacyUser

I feel so done. I'm 23 and have recently graduated from college. I did Arts and got first class honours. Now I'm working part-time in a cafe and it was hard enough to get that job. I'm not in Dublin.

I live in a house share, have a few friends who live closeby. My rent and bills takes up the majority of what I earn and the rest goes on food etc.

I don't have a good relationship with my family. My Dad has mental health issues and I very rarely speak to him and my mom has her own mental health problems from having to deal with dad for the last 27 years.

I go to work, come home, eat and repeat. I feel so alone and like I have nobody. I have one really good friend but besides him I feel like no one cares about me at all.

I go to work and get treated like dirt by either snobby middle aged women who work in the offices close to the cafe or get yelled at by the chef for no good reason.

I feel like I'm going crazy because I worry about every single eventuality in everything I do. Every single time I walk to work I have to look behind me about 20 times because I get so paranoid that I walked into a car or something even though I know that I didn't. There's days where I need to check switches and plugs at least two times before I can even leave the house.

Over the last two weeks I've been extremely panicked for about 75% of the time. I've had to go to the bathroom in work and cry or to try and calm myself down from panicking.

I got first class honours but I still think I'm incapable of everything and as if I'm the most stupid person ever. Neither of my parents work and I feel like I'm going to go down the same road because of my inability to do life. I spent 4 years at college for nothing because of my own crazy mind.

I went out last night for the first time in a very long time and now I'm so paranoid that I didn't pay for drinks or something because my card is missing. I've checked my statement and it shows that I actually spent a lot there but I'm still consumed by paranoia that I took a drink without paying or something like that. This paranoia will eat me up.

I just feel so sad, I want someone to really care about me and I feel pathetic for it. I'm a 23 year old lad but I can't function.

I just don't know what to do. Last night was the only time I've spent a lot of money in a long time, besides last night I live a really frugal life. I don't buy new clothes. I've been wearing penneys shoes for months.

I just want to stop feeling like I'm struggling through life. I don't know what I can do to fix myself.

I can afford to go the Doctor once at most and I can't afford to be paying for any recurrent medication. I don't know where to even go for the paranoia/anxiety problem I have and its gotten so bad.

I feel like such a failure and like life is just horrible and a continuous fight to just have a room to live in. I don't know what to do and I don't know how to make it better.

shenanagans

Read the list below, ask yourself honestly how many of these symptoms feel familiar. Everyone struggles with stress or anxiety in life but if you feel like you're suffering from anxiety you need to accept it, educate yourself on how best to deal with it (diet,exercise,talk...) and seek appropriate help from your GP who can refer you to numerous sources for the right help and guidance. Don't allow it to overwhelm you and take over your life. Take control.


How to recognise anxiety;

Difficulty concentrating

A sense of feeling constantly on edge

Physical stuff like headaches, butterflies in your stomach, sweaty hands, high blood pressure, dizziness, breathing heavily, feeling faint, sweating.

Maybe you are smoking or drinking more,

You are eating too much or not eating enough,

You are fidgety or rushing around nervously.

You might also feel run down, tired, have problems concentrating or problems sleeping at night.

You might feel worried all the time.

You feel overwhelmed or panicked about even little things.

You spend a lot of time thinking and often overthink things


I have a friend that suffered with depression for a period of time. She got help from her GP. The hardest part is telling someone how you're feeling whether it's a GP or friend..etc. My friend was advised to exercise, confide in a friend and do something once a week to break up your routine (a day out somewhere, it doesn't have to cost money, a hike, a walk, whatever).

nthclare

shenanagans wrote: »

Read the list below, ask yourself honestly how many of these symptoms feel familiar. Everyone struggles with stress or anxiety in life but if you feel like you're suffering from anxiety you need to accept it, educate yourself on how best to deal with it (diet,exercise,talk...) and seek appropriate help from your GP who can refer you to numerous sources for the right help and guidance. Don't allow it to overwhelm you and take over your life. Take control.


How to recognise anxiety;

Difficulty concentrating

A sense of feeling constantly on edge

Physical stuff like headaches, butterflies in your stomach, sweaty hands, high blood pressure, dizziness, breathing heavily, feeling faint, sweating.

Maybe you are smoking or drinking more,

You are eating too much or not eating enough,

You are fidgety or rushing around nervously.

You might also feel run down, tired, have problems concentrating or problems sleeping at night.

You might feel worried all the time.

You feel overwhelmed or panicked about even little things.

You spend a lot of time thinking and often overthink things


I have a friend that suffered with depression for a period of time. She got help from her GP. The hardest part is telling someone how you're feeling whether it's a GP or friend..etc. My friend was advised to exercise, confide in a friend and do something once a week to break up your routine (a day out somewhere, it doesn't have to cost money, a hike, a walk, whatever).

That's a great suggestion.
There's​a lot of people out there in similar situations as the original poster.

They're certainly not alone.

The sad part is like some of us the op just wants to get on with their life without hassle.

My son's 17 stuffers from anxiety, he's been going to therapy for the last 3 months and its working for him.

His mum admitted he didn't have it easy living with her as she's a lot of anger issue s which she's getting help for.

Nip it in the bud young op, because it'll be worth it in the long run.

If you can work on your confidence and fears,get well even if you put away some money every week,save up and when you're feeling better and dont have to bring your problems with you to the next place, you'll be able to get a fresh start.

It's easier said than done but you're 23 and have your whole life in front of you.

You owe nobody anything, get on track...

I've been there believe you me, it's not easy.

Teyla Emmagan

I am very sorry that you are going through such a bad time OP. There is another thread here about accessing mental health services. You should look into it, it won't necessarily cost you money. To me it sounds like you have a huge amount of anxiety and I am sorry that you don't gave more of a support structure and need to deal with it alone.

You are 23 years old and have a first class degree. You have friends, somewhere to live and a job (even if if sounds awful). You are doing life! You are actually being pretty successful!! You are just going through a bad patch. You will turn this around and go on to be happy. But look for help, it is there and it will work for you.

Bazzer007

Hey Op,

Sorry to hear about your struggles. Life ain’t easy that’s for sure. You’ve do amazing so far to get a 1st class honors degree & your providing for yourself. That’s a fair achievement on its own. I know plenty of friends who wouldn’t have survived on their own without support from their parents & here you are kicking ass with a first class degree & contributing to society by working so hard. I think you need to decide what area you wish to work in & start a Masters. You’re 23 so you’re a mature student right?

I was lost after I qualified & found it impossible to get a job during the recession. I went back to to uni & specialized in a specific area & never looked back. I think you need to do the same. Arts is a broad qualification.

Also no harm in looking for a medical card & make an appointment to see a GP.

Don’t worry about serving those middle aged women, they have their own problems & often feel the need to be grumpy to others to make themselves feel important. I’ve come across plenty of them in my time.

You’re only 23 with the world at your feet so don’t beat yourself up. I didn’t start my ‘real’ job until I was 27 due to the recession. You’ve plenty of time to get that job you always wanted.

professore

You aren't a failure by any stretch. Everyone struggles at first. Your OCD issues sound like the main problem you need to sort out. Then try to get some better work experience. I was unemployed for stretches after college, took me a few years to really sort out my career. What do you want to do with your life? You need some goals, not I've got a first in arts so employers will beat a path to my door to offer me my dream job which I don't even know what that is?

arainagusime

Mod note:

arainagusime, medical advice is not allowed on boards. Therefore please do not attempt to diagnose posters.