Relationships

Linda122

Hi I recently met a guy on a dating site. He's says he wants to be in a relationship with me. But I caught him on the dating site. I confronted him about it. He told me that he cant remember his passed word and that he has to clear notifications on it. He says that he wants to b with me and the only one he wants. He chats and texts me very day. Dont know what to think

The Black Oil

Moved from Psychology. Relationship Issues charter now applies.

Brego888

Context is important, who long do you know him?
And how did you catch him on the site, were you on it yourself?

LegacyUser

Linda122 wrote: »

He told me that he cant remember his passed word

How was he logging in to clear notifications then? Smells like bull to me. More to the point though, if it's early days and you're both still on dating sites, that's fair enough, but it should make you suspicious of his declaration that he wants to be in a relationship with you. If you've been going out long enough that neither of you should be on dating sites, then it would seem that a valid relationship is not growing if you're both still on them and it requires declarations of wanting to be in a relationship. Either way, it doesn't look particular good.

wiggle16

How recent is recent? Like a couple of weeks, a month?

osarusan

If it's still early days and there is nothing 'official', I can understand somebody not wanting to delete a dating profile, or even still being active on it.

That doesn't really tally with what he is telling you about how he feels about you though.

Also, not sure how valid his justification is - if he was logged out and can't remember his password, how can he access any notifications? Or if he is logged in, what has the password got to do with it?

Virgil°

More info required here.
Some of the popular dating sites keep sending notifications to your email when someone so much as views your profile. In which case you have to log in and disable that in your settings.
Its possible that's what he was up to? Hard to tell though.

osarusan

Virgil° wrote: »

Some of the popular dating sites keep sending notifications to your email when someone so much as views your profile. In which case you have to log in and disable that in your settings.

I was wondering if there was a way that it might make sense, and that could be one alright.



But still, not sure what him not being able to remember the password fits into it - unless he needs to create a new password so he can login and deactivate notifications, delete account, etc.

Eric Cartman

so you're not currently in a relationship with this guy, then he's single, no issue with him being on a dating site so...

professore

It's not clear what you mean when you say you "caught him on a dating site". He still has a profile on there?

Can't remember a password is a lame excuse. That's what the "Forgot Password" button is for.

Sounds to me like he's having his cake and eating it too.

Judes

Be careful I went through similar earlier this year - he had a big excuse about getting notifications and getting back on line in to change the info - then a few weeks later it was over - as I suspect he was on-line all the time we were seeing each other "6 months". Especially if he's long distance - it's too easy to hide and only see each other every 2nd weekend - so you don't know who or what he's doing the rest of the week or other weekends. Caution is what I'd advise. But best of luck. J

Green&Red

People stay on dating sites after they start dating, literally everyone does it. At some stage (maybe 4 weeks, maybe 2 months that’s up to the couple) one of ye will decide to delete it and bring it up with the other.
So just say it to him, I expect you to delete the app or hide your profile. If he doesn’t do it then say goodbye

SuperRabbit

Brego888 wrote: »

Context is important, who long do you know him?
And how did you catch him on the site, were you on it yourself?

Context isn't that important if he's lying.. then again if you have been going out ages and you don't trust him either you need to learn to trust or he needs to learn to be honest. But it is usual for there to be a lack of trust in the beginning of a relationship, so maybe get it out of your system now.

Well, make a fake account and message him, or get a friend to message him. See if he responds. But then again, what kind of a beginning to a relationship is that? Being suspicious of someone and testing them. If you ask him a direct question and you don't trust that he is telling the truth, you don't trust him. Why don't you trust him? Do you have a reason not to? Start as you mean to continue, if you don't want to be online stalking your husband in 15 years, maybe don't be online stalking your boyfriend now.

As you can see, I have no idea what you should do.

People stay on dating sites after they start dating, literally everyone does it

nuh-uh. I suspended my profile the day after I met my boyfriend. Not so optimistic that I deleted it mind, but suspended yes.

Green&Red

SuperRabbit wrote: »

nuh-uh. I suspended my profile the day after I met my boyfriend. Not so optimistic that I deleted it mind, but suspended yes.

I could ask the question why didn't you do it the day you met him so? My point is theres a phase where its just starting

SuperRabbit

Green&Red wrote: »

I could ask the question why didn't you do it the day you met him so? My point is theres a phase where its just starting

?? I couldn't do it the day I met him because I was staying in a friend's house and I didn't have my computer with me

Your point is wrong, it might be true for you but not for everyone