Is it possible to change how you look

LegacyUser

Weird one here but hope it's ok to post. I'm just wondering is it possible to change how I look. I'm mid 30s with two children. I feel I'm not setting a good example to my daughters in how I look. I'm fit and healthy, I exercise etc and I'm really happy that that's what they're seeing, as it's a recent enough development. However, I feel I look so dowdy. I never seem to be able to get my hair right, I'm not great at drying it and it's either up in a clip or down but not looking done. I go through phases of putting on make-up but don't do it most days. My clothes are never right, I look too casual and too young but again, I'm not sure how to dress for my body or my age. I want to look smart casual, not dressed up but past the jeans and t-shirt look. When I see pictures of myself I think I look so young and thrown together and it upsets me. I feel so stupid even posting this but it's not something I'm comfortable talking about with friends and I'm not close enough to my sisters or mam. I'm also bad at doing things for me, never get facials or waxes etc. I never moisturise after my shower and my skin is so bad. I guess I'm lazy but I know my girls have my skin so I'd like to be able to tell them how to look after it. I'm rambling a bit now but I hope I've gotten my point across.

Steviesol

<SNIP>
I am sure it is possible to visit one of these store shoppers who can help you pick clothes.

You say you are happy , that is the main thing. I know I pray that my kids don't ever get to self conscious about how they look. That nearly killed me , the insecurity of it all.

Best of luck.

368100

It sounds like you already know what you need to change. Have you one good friend that can help you with advice or opinions?

Fakediamond

I’d second the personal shoppers to put some outfits together! I know Debenhams have that service in Dublin. Afaik, you give them ideas on your lifestyle and they can choose appropriate clothing to suit your daily life. Doesn’t have to be mad expensive, but you’ll get ideas on colours/styles that suit and can use that info whenever you shop for new clothes.

I struggle with the moisturising and make-up routine myself but as I get older, I realise that moisturing is essential to slow down the aging process on the skin. I don’t spend loads of money on products, I watch out for special offers and never spend more than 15/20e on face creams! I don’t fall for the hype on the dear stuff.

Don’t have advice on the hair, except to say I think it’s best to stick with the same hairdresser, when you go to the same person all the time, they get to know you and your hair and can then give really good advice to suit your hair type.

baby and crumble

Hey Op,

You definitely can. I’m 36 now and I’m really only just now feeling like I’m dressing right for my age, my career and my personal tastes.

The biggest driver for me was a weird one. I realized that most people don’t notice you. And I mean that in a nice way, people are super preoccupied with themselves that nobody is looking st you thinking “wow she looks dowdy” or whatever it is. So when I realized with regards to myself, that it freed me up to go “ok well then if I try this out it’s no big deal!” And it worked.

Do you use Pinterest? The reason I ask is because I set up a few style boards for myself and wandered around using searches for things I liked on other people and pinning outfits. I soon realized there was a particular few themes I kept coming back to, and I’ve concentrated on making them my “uniform”. So you can do that with outfits, hairstyles etc. you’ll soon see common themes and then you can go and start building a new wardrobe of clothes or adapting what you have.

If you’re struggling with skin or hair treat yourself to a session with a really good stylist or skin specialist and get their advice. It could be something as simple as changing your shampoo or learning how to do one style. When I changed my hair to my current style it did take me a while (and a few mistakes!) to master styling it but now it takes me 5 mins in the morning and I know it looks good.

It’s trial and error and really it’s a marathon not a sprint. I know people recommended going to a personal shopper but if you’re anything like me I’d be mortified so I’m just telling you how I’ve gotten more comfortable in my style
Over the last few years

Best of luck!

Whispered

I could have written this op. I'm 34 and so casual in how I look. Thrown together. I still get I.D'd regularly. I hate my hair but don't have the guts to go shorter, stopped wearing makeup a few years back and now can't apply it to save my life. Like you I'm happy with my fitness levels and health. But beyond that, disaster! My sister on the other hand is so glamorous and put together looking but would never agree with me saying that!

So I wanted to comment to follow thread and see what's suggested for you!

Shoebox1926

If you want to change your look the only one who can change it is yourself.
Are there any celebrities who are a similar age and have a similar body type to yourself whose fashion or style you admire? That could be a good starting place. IMO Heeled boots and a fitted jacket can dress up any outfit and still be casual enough to wear during the day. Fitted leather jackets look really nice imo.
Have you gone to a hairdresser? Might be worth doing.

- What type of skin do you have? Is it dry, oily, dehydrated, combination? This is what you should consider when looking for skin care. Your skin can also be oily and dehydrated. Meaning it will feel rough and dry but also produce allot of oil.

- I think the best place to start with skincare is a hyaluronic acid serum or moisturiser - Nuetrogena do a really nice face moisturiser with Hyaluronic acid. Its a natural chemical in your skin that helps your skin to retain water and most skincare brands sell products with this in them, you'll notice a difference in your skin straight away.

- Sun screen is really important to prevent skin damage, even when its cloudy you should wear an spf of atleast 30.

- Do you exfoliate? dead skin builds up leaving your skin rough, dry and dull, it also makes you age faster. Try to avoid anything too scrubby, they create little tears in your skin, can be too rough and cause further dryness and they're also really bad for the environment. Cleansers with salicylic acid or glycolic acid are best for exfoliating your face.

- Vitamin serums are excellent for dry skin and brightening up your appearance. They also reverse sun damage, protect your skin from pollutants and theyre hydrating too. I use vitamin serums by MooGoo but you can purchase cheaper ones im sure.

- For your body, get a nice moisturising body wash and body exfoliator, I personally love Soap and Glory clean on me body wash and Flake away exfoliator.
My favorite body moisturisers are Palmers cocoa butter and Nuetrogena deep moisture body lotion.

- Id also suggest going to your local beauty salon and getting a facial, the beautician will be able to tell you what kind of skin you have and what products might work best for you.

- As for makeup, it's what works for you, getting older means changing the makeup you use and how you apply it as the skin texture changes with age.
Keep it simple, a BB cream with an SPF, an eye shadow pallet with range of neutral and vibrant tones - Urban decay do great pallets but pharmacy brands are very good too. Concealer, A good mascara, powder, eyebrow gel, eyeliner and lipstick or lipbalm. Blush too if you feel youre lacking colour in your face.

Youtube has lots of videos on makeup tutorials, look up Lisa Eldridge, Wayne Goss and Pixiwoo.

meeeeh

Don't worry about setting up a good example for your daughters. You are active and in good shape and if anything your daughters will know they don't need to spend hours in the morning getting ready to be valued, loved or liked. Some moisturiser is probably beneficial especially in dry cold weather, make up really isn't essential. As for getting dressed, think about how much you actually want to be bothered. I don't want the hassle of scarves or statement jewellery so I tend to buy interesting shoes. I wear couple of well designed simple pieces of jewellery that work with anything. Get a good coat, trench for now, something with the belt for winter. Both can be worn with leggings, culottes, jeans, skirt and just about any type of shoe. If you are wearing runners wear the coat untied, with courts you can go for nice hour glass shape and tie the belt. If anything comfortable, relaxed dressing is in at the moment. Add a bright lipstick if you feel brave.

The trick is to look put together without creating the impression you spent hours in front of a mirror. So you might just as well not spend hours in front of a mirror and wear whatever you feel comfortable in. Just pick a cool pair of shoes and avoid fleeces (devil's invention to make people look frumpy).

Telly

This girl is amazing and takes you to all different stores in the shopping center. I’ve a few friends that have gone to her and they look amazing now:
http://www.blanchardstowncentre.ie/shopping/personal-stylist#

.......

There may be one person who can advise on all of the following, but if not, you can split it out into 3 people.

Make up artist. She an advise you on a good daytime look, a good nighttime look and about moisturising etc..

Hairdresser. Get a good cut that looks equally as well "done" as left to dry naturally.

Clothes - personal shopper for a few sessions.

Just on the moisturiser mentioned in an earlier post - I noticed LIDL started doing a with face moisturiser with Hyaluronic acid recently so I bought a tube. Functionally its great (although for some reason the smell of it reminds me of my granny). But its a cheap try out option.

Malayalam

I don't know what the problem is - you look young, you dress casually, heck that's great! I am 50, look young too, and have to check what I am wearing before I leave the house to make sure I won't frighten people with its oddness, haven't been to a hairdresser since my Confirmation (that was obviously traumatic!) and wear very little makeup or use other 'stuff' that people seem to use. It's probably better for your health not to lash into too many chemicals - and they are mostly chemicals. Never been for any kind of beauty treatments ever or eyebrow stuff (thankfully! what the hell is that all about). It's called low-maintenance and it's fine! We exist!

I found a video that shows how to easily cut layers into long hair and it works great. Am embracing the few grey streaks too - husband calls it California Cool, I like that. Organic coconut oil as cleanser and moisturiser - good stuff, cheap and I have no deep wrinkles. If you have bad skin - try coconut oil and wipe off excess with face cloth. Using facecloths gives a bit of exfoliation too and that helps. A couple of times a week I use Dr Hauschka's Rose cream - my one indulgence. Have to say I like sleep, rarely drink and have the occasional roll up a few times a year, and I don't go in for stress as I learned the hard way on that. Also rarely eat total junk...although Icecream...mmmmmm. That helps. I think people losing sleep is the worst one. It boggles my mind how little sleep people get - it hundred percent shows on the skin. Your attitude shows in your face too - bitterness or anger etc. So smile more - you won't regret those particular lines.

On the odd occasion if out at something really posh I do wonder what it might be like to be totally awesome in terms of expensive outfit and coiffed hair and high heels and proper make-up and being all put together - looks like it could be a lot fun. But I also reckon I would be self -conscious done up too much as I am used to loose flowing clothes and a casual look. At this stage people would think I had gone mad if I turned up looking really swanky. Feck it - go with it!

My daughter kind of ended up like me - she spent years living on the continent and people are more casual and hippie there in a lot of places. Hair is natural looking and makeup is not a big thing. Casual, loose, comfortable, groovy, nice colours, that's the kind of vibe, rather than structured or confining. We seem to have a big thing about makeup here - I don't think it looks all that fab unless very lightly used. Having said that I always use eyeliner/kohl - just a habit I picked up as a youngster. It's enough for me.

I really think you are probably just grand the way you are. Check your diet re the skin, sleep as much as you can, all your kids need is endless love not a fashion icon, be happy, keep up your activities, wear what you feel comfortable in and - wow - you said you look young - that's pretty cool! Good on ya.

SmallgirlBigcity

Telly:

This girl is amazing and takes you to all different stores in the shopping center. I’ve a few friends that have gone to her and they look amazing now:
http://www.blanchardstowncentre.ie/s...sonal-stylist#

Who is the person who brings you to different stores in Blanch? This service sounds fantastic...the link doesn't work. Thanks!