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Relationship breakdown

  • 23-09-2018 6:29pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    It has just been confirmed to me that my relationship has no chance of repair. Feel completely lost and devastated at the fact our family unit is broken down. He has told me he has no feelings for me and that they will not return. He simply can't stand being around me which I now have to accept :(

    We have been arguing a lot. He has not been here much and I have felt tired and taken for granted 80% of the time which has led to conflict between us . He doesn't want to be with me any more and has told me that even when we are not fighting that he still doesn't feel happy with me. Ouch :(

    Even though there has conflict I am still in love with him and don't know how I'm going to deal with the fact he will meet someone else....I feel sick even thinking about it.

    ...But it hasn't worked out and there is no going back. I have to accept this but how do I stay strong and move on as I will need to see him regularly when he is visiting kids. He will need to stay over too which will be very difficult.

    Feel completely heartbroken and confused


Comments

  • #2
    Another day
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 146 ✭✭Another day


    It will be fine..in time. The positive: he has been clear and truthful with you. Now you know you can start looking to the future. There is absolutely nothing worse than not knowing when something is wrong, not knowing why they are not supportive or just there with you.

    For now allow yourself to grieve. Love doesn't die overnight. You will feel sad, angry, and every other emotion in the book...and that is ok. Allow yourself to cry. Hug your kids and draw strength from them. Make plans for the weekend, a walk in the park, a trip to the beach (wrap up well!) Simple things that get you out of the house and occupied.

    Think about the future. Think about the fact your kids have a dad who will want to see them. Make a list of options regarding access. Days/times etc. Think about his financial contribution to their upkeep. Be practical. Be fair - to you both. You both need time with the children and alone. Try and keep emotions out of any decisions as they will just get in the way.

    In time if you cannot work the above out between you try mediation. Leave solicitors out of it as long as possible as they tend to muddy the waters.

    Most importantly for now...be kind to yourself. Talk to a good friend or family member. Someone who will support you and be there for you. You will get through this!


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