Parental Leave

angela1711

Hi guys,

So, I am thinking of taking parental leave in the upcoming weeks. I went back to work when my little one was around 7 months old and was regretting it ever since. I work full time and sometimes won't even see my child in the morning as he is still asleep when I leave for work. He is almost two now and its at this stage when he seems to really miss me and his dad. I have noticed a big difference in his behaviour. He would be really upset and angry during the week when we are both gone to work and happy out during the weekends.

I know that you can take the leave up until your child is 8 years old but is it considered the norm to be taking it after being back at work for a while ? Or do people just take it straight after maternity leave ?


Also, my employer is not the family type and doesn't understand a sick day let alone a couple of months off. He would be absolutely furious when I give in my notice. Any tips or how I should approach this ? Should I talk to him first or give him the notice straight away ?

Ideally, I would like to work 3 days a week at the most and take the remainder as parental leave. Can he refuse ? At this stage I am prepared to give this job up altogether and just stay home for a year or two.

I would appreciate your advise.

angela1711

I forgot to mention, I am the only one in the whole company that knows how to do the job. There will be no replacement unless they hire someone and train them which would take a month if the new person is a fast learner.

mordeith

angela1711 wrote: »

I forgot to mention, I am the only one in the whole company that knows how to do the job. There will be no replacement unless they hire someone and train them which would take a month if the new person is a fast learner.

I think they have changed the age to 13. Your employer can refuse the first time you ask and if you are indispensable (which you seem to be) they have a valid reason to do so. You may need to check the specifics though

khaldrogo

My understanding of it is that the leave has to be taken in blocks. I asked about this a few years ago. I was looking for 1 day a week parental leave and my HR dept told me it can't be taken like that. May differ business to business.

bee06

khaldrogo wrote: »

My understanding of it is that the leave has to be taken in blocks. I asked about this a few years ago. I was looking for 1 day a week parental leave and my HR dept told me it can't be taken like that. May differ business to business.

Some employers will allow x days per week to be taken but they don’t have to is my understanding.

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/employment/employment_rights_and_conditions/leave_and_holidays/parental_leave.html

Big Bag of Chips

It all depends on the company. Anybody I know who has taken parental leave (3 different companies I worked with) has taken it in days. One day a week. I know if people in the public service who have been able to break it down to hours.. So starting an hour later some days, and finishing an hour early etc.

shesty

As the last poster said. It can be taken in days (hours in the PS), but it is at the employer's discretion to make you take it all in one block, or in a series of several blocks - in which case you would use it all up pretty quickly.
If they aren't a family friendly company OP, I'd suggest looking around. Another year or so and it's likely your little guy will be starting into preschool, then junior infants, and I actually think you need it more then, in a way.There are pros and cons for both sides - taking it younger and holding off. I haven't taken mine at all as I was in three different jobs when each of my children were born, but I have been over a year in my current role and am hoping to go back on a four day week.

angela1711

mordeith wrote: »

I think they have changed the age to 13. Your employer can refuse the first time you ask and if you are indispensable (which you seem to be) they have a valid reason to do so. You may need to check the specifics though

If they refuse, do you know how long I will have to wait before asking again ?

angela1711

shesty wrote: »

As the last poster said. It can be taken in days (hours in the PS), but it is at the employer's discretion to make you take it all in one block, or in a series of several blocks - in which case you would use it all up pretty quickly.
If they aren't a family friendly company OP, I'd suggest looking around. Another year or so and it's likely your little guy will be starting into preschool, then junior infants, and I actually think you need it more then, in a way.There are pros and cons for both sides - taking it younger and holding off. I haven't taken mine at all as I was in three different jobs when each of my children were born, but I have been over a year in my current role and am hoping to go back on a four day week.

Taking my particular role into consideration and the fact that they don't have a replacement it would be even better for them to allow me to take two days parental leave a week and work for the remainder three. On top of that I am certain that I can do the job in three days.

This is my first child so I am yet to get to know all the different stages of his development but at the moment I don't see how it would be beneficial to take it at a later stage. Surly by the time he will be in junior infants he would be gone for half of the day anyway so what difference would this extra few hours of me not being at home with him make ?

mordeith

angela1711 wrote: »

If they refuse, do you know how long I will have to wait before asking again ?

I believe it's six months and then they have to try and make it happen.

smaoifs

angela1711 wrote:

I know that you can take the leave up until your child is 8 years old but is it considered the norm to be taking it after being back at work for a while ? Or do people just take it straight after maternity leave ?

In answer to this question, I've heard it being used more when the child is older and in school. Worked with a guy with 3 kids who used take a few weeks each summer cos to put all kids in day care or camp was too expensive and another girl who takes the school holidays off each year.

linpoo

I work 3 days and take parental leave for 2 days a week and I love it. Best of both worlds. Plenty of time for working 4 or 5 days when he is in school. You won't get the years back so hopefully they will give it to you and if your so indispensable surely they would prefer you to work 3 days than not at all!

I'd prepare a good argument and hopefully you will get it.

angela1711

linpoo wrote: »

I work 3 days and take parental leave for 2 days a week and I love it. Best of both worlds. Plenty of time for working 4 or 5 days when he is in school. You won't get the years back so hopefully they will give it to you and if your so indispensable surely they would prefer you to work 3 days than not at all!

I'd prepare a good argument and hopefully you will get it.

This is my reasoning too. I am just afraid that they may not agree to it the first time and get someone to replace me altogether before I get a chance to ask again.

lazygal

Totally at the discretion of your company I'm afraid. And it's not always made easy to take, no matter what your entitlement to it is.

jlm29

It’s at the discretion of your company how you take it, but as above, they are supposed to make an effort to facilitate it, are only supposed to refuse once etc..
I’ve taken half an hour a day, full days, two full days and currently am taking a half day a week.
As someone else mentioned, it’s VERY beneficial to have parental leave left when your kids are in school. They really notice (in my experience) who collects them from school, and it’s also beneficial to have opportunities to meet teachers etc, at one end of the day or another- so I wouldn’t necessarily rush into using it all up before school starts. In my case, I had a second child just before my little guy started school, so I’m using the second lot of PL now.
It was also great to be able to take extra time over the summer (2 days a week), so I wasn’t always pulling them out of bed to drop at the minders.

Hopefully your boss will be able to facilitate something though! Good luck!

shesty

angela1711 wrote: »

Taking my particular role into consideration and the fact that they don't have a replacement it would be even better for them to allow me to take two days parental leave a week and work for the remainder three. On top of that I am certain that I can do the job in three days.

This is my first child so I am yet to get to know all the different stages of his development but at the moment I don't see how it would be beneficial to take it at a later stage. Surly by the time he will be in junior infants he would be gone for half of the day anyway so what difference would this extra few hours of me not being at home with him make ?

Well this is what I'm saying when I say there are arguments for both sides.Yes in some ways it is good to be around for a two year old developmentally.But in other ways (and I have a four year old); they are far more aware at 4+ and there is nothing quite so heartbreaking as your four year old asking you will you be picking up from school today.On a practical level it is handy to be around to meet the other parents of your friend's kids, have the odd chat with the teacher, have time free for after school birthday parties and the like.It is personal and I suppose my choice was dictated by my job situation, although I always felt quite strongly that I wanted to do the school run at least one day a week for any kids I had, because my mum couldn't for us, due to her job.And they do LOVE it when you are there.It's just something to consider in your decision, to try to stretch it as long as you can over the years, that's all.

Big Bag of Chips

I will also give my vote for parental leave being valuable when they're in school. I was at home for my first children, but returned to work on my last. I knew all friends, parents, teachers on my first. I know nobody in my youngest's class. She regularly asks can I collect her. Or asks why I can't collect her. If you could take a day a week for now and stretch out your leave entitlement it will really help. Also when they start school they tend to want to get involved in after school activities which need you to be araound for dropping and collecting! Working and having children is a real juggling act. Being honest the first few years are the easiest!!

Jemima1977

Hi Angela, did you take your parental leave? I am at the stage now where I need to decide what I want to do. How was your employer? Thanks.

angela1711

Hi,

What I ended up doing is going part time all together. I only work 24hrs a week.
My son is with my baby sitter for 2 days, and with my mum for 1. It's much better this way.
Myself and my partner had decided that its too much for both of us to be working 40 hours a week while he is only 2. I was exhausted coming back home, only to eat something and go to bed, repeat 5 days a week. I've seen my child for 2 hours a day, an hour in the morning and evening. It was really taking a toll on me, my relationship and most importantly my child.


I never took parental leave just went in straight to my employer before Christmas and told him that I am no longer available for full time work. Gave him my reasons and said that I would leave completely if he doesn't agree to my offer.


Been working part time since the beginning of January and love it.

shesty

Well done you Angela.That was a good move.