Do you talk to people about your mental health?

freshpopcorn

I am not referring to have a discussion about mental health in Ireland but your own personal health.
I personally don't if I had to I probably would but things would want to be gotten really out of hand.
The main reasons I wouldn't talk to people would be I don't want everybody knowing my business, I am good to deal with things and people would look for advice off me and often people would have a lot going on without my issues as well.

Do you talk to people about your mental health?

One of the main reasons I hear people - those who actually would benefit from talking about their mental health - cite for not doing so is in your post there. That they feel "often people would have a lot going on without my issues as well". Certain forms of depression compound this issue by making people feel worthless or feel their issues or problems are not worth discussing - or that no one would care about them if they did.

My own experience is people get as much from it as they give. Those that do discuss their issues often do so with someone who then discusses their own in turn. So while it is true that people have "a lot going on" - sharing your issues with them and them sharing theirs back in return is not always a zero sum game. Both can profit from the practice.

Therefore not every time - but I suspect much of the time - the feeling your issues are not worth discussing or would not be interesting - or would even be an imposition - on others is in fact a warning sign that discussing your issues or seeking aid with them is exactly what you should be doing. Because depression and stress tend to contrive to put us in exactly that mindset - often without us realising it.

To answer your question though I do talk about it - both when I am feeling perfectly healthy and when I am not. Partly because I think it is a good thing to do. Partly because I like a constant and open communication in my relationship and family anyway.

And party because I am interested in the field of mental health itself. So I study it. And when I find a new dynamic of system in mental health I did not know before I always try to turn it on myself and ask "If I parse my own life and feelings through this - does it reveal anything to me I did not notice before?".

And I do that even if the evidence for the efficacy of the practice itself in a medical setting is not good. Take for example "Transaction analysis". There is not much evidence this is actually useful or worth implementing in our mental health professions. But when I parse my own life and actions and thoughts and feelings through it I did find it informative. It make me classify and observe my feelings and thoughts an actions in a way I never did before - and made me notice patterns and even issues that I felt worth improving on.

And I make talking about that stuff part of my learning about it. So I bring it to the conversation with my family or my kids or the girlfriends or my friends when I am discussing life in general. And it leads me to openly talking my mental health and theirs in turn through it.

I am certainly not the worse for ever doing it. And I think I - and those around me - have benefited from it. But we can not quantify that for sure. And certainly even with all the discussion of my mental health - I still managed to have a relatively recent mini-break down of sorts. So it was not 100% preventative. But it did help me get through that I suppose. And who knows how many break downs I might have had in life without it.

Boom_Bap

Often is my answer.

I've never had any diagnosis or serious mental health issues, but you have check ups with GPs, you go to the gym, you get your car serviced, you update software, you modernise your surroundings.....why not do it for your internal self.


It's good to talk about it. I'd encourage everybody to talk about it.

.......

Yes I do.

Both when I feel good and when I dont. To family and to friends.

Your Face

Not a hope would I say anything if that was the case.

troyzer

Yes. To a very select group, mostly my long term partner and a few old friends.

Lorelli!

If I ever feel a bit down, I just talk to my family mainly.

I don't even like going to the doctor if I'm not physically well. I haven't felt the need to but I think if I ever had to go to the doctor, I'd find that very difficult.

Although I often meet my neighbour's mother walking down the road. She doesn't look like her but she is like Mrs Doyle!! Twice now I've been chatting away to her and she's starts "how are you? Are you doing ok?" I tell her I'm grand and then she goes "are you sure?" and gives you this look at which point I'm like "noooo, I've had a really stressful day and I feel like crap." You cannot lie to that woman!

Graces7

No, in the way it is meant here. Not sure what is defined as mental health these days anyways?

Lost my faith in the medical profession long ago. with good cause.

I do have an anamchara, in the full sense of the word, but we talk about many things and not re such matters. For us prayer is a healing and a resource.

Shanotheslayer

Yup. Counselling was the best money I ever spent.

I now talk about it occasionally with family and friends

freshpopcorn

Boom_Bap wrote: »

Often is my answer.

I've never had any diagnosis or serious mental health issues, but you have check ups with GPs, you go to the gym, you get your car serviced, you update software, you modernise your surroundings.....why not do it for your internal self.


It's good to talk about it. I'd encourage everybody to talk about it.

I might be taking you up in the wrong content but I'd service/repair the car myself and do things that I can myself. If I had to seek auport with an issue I'd get help.
With my mental health I believe I am similar. All this talking/etc wouldn't be for me.

Tell me how

Yes. But to varying degrees.
Suffered badly with depression. Told 4 friends over some years and only one was able to handle it. The other friendships pretty much melted away.

I consider mental health similar to other illnesses. If its a discomfort, a growing sense of starting to feel unwell, speak to friends/family, but if it's very dark or potentially serious, go to the professionals. Like asking for advice on a bad back, if its a slight tightness, a suggestion of stretches from a non-professional might help but if it is crippling pain or partial paralysis, go to the professionals.

I now talk to a therapist as and when I need to. If something is playing on my mind for a few weeks or a month, I'll make an appointment and talk through it. Doesn't have to be frequent, or regular.

I actually find myself more and more not opening up. In fact I would say only one person is privvy to my feelings and she's got her own tough times to battle. We are like two peas in a pod though so opening up to her is natural and easy. My mam used to be my go to person and when she got sick there were two other close people who I went to for support. Then shít hit the fan and those people are no longer in my life.

The weekend my ex broke up with me came after me needing support. No doubt he had other reasons but I had been going through a rough time and he couldn't manage being there for me. He said "you are just to much Persepoly". Well fück you.

There's a thread in the Ladies Lounge called Things you'd like to say, so I post there up and down. I'd also post in the Where are you now thread that "the Black Dog is visiting". Again thats the extent of it. I do journal alot though. It helps me to put my thoughts and feelings down on paper.

Basically I rely on nobody but myself. Of course I'm lucky that I don't actually have a mental illness. It's just usual feelings of this that and the other. I am envious though of people who seem so buffered against the world because of the people around them. Mind you the other side of that is when stuff happens then how do they cope? One thing I've learnt is to be incredibly resilient and I'm really glad I have that.

Boom_Bap

freshpopcorn wrote: »

I might be taking you up in the wrong content but I'd service/repair the car myself and do things that I can myself. If I had to seek auport with an issue I'd get help.
With my mental health I believe I am similar. All this talking/etc wouldn't be for me.

What I'm getting at is that you would do something to tune it up and get it checked out and running smoother. You wouldn't let your car deteriorate and having the wheels fall off of the brakes fail. I wouldn't like my mental health to have pieces fall off

That's what the talking to someone is about, getting it checked out, no matter what it is.



Talking is a very broad term as well, it can mean talking to a friend, talking to a family member, talking to a professional, even venting on forum.


In relation to your comment about talking not being for you, a few years ago I would have been firmly in your corner. But I became acquainted with a therapist and they became the easiest person in the world to talk to.

We didn't exactly have a patient/therapist relationship going on, but we talked about a lot of things.

One of the things we talked about is how difficult people say they find it to talk to someone, or that they'd never do it. The therapist recognises this a mile off and knows how to deal with that. The hardest part is getting there for the first time, the talking just comes.



I'm no expert on any of this at all, but I have had my mind turned completely from my 'f*ck no' stance to talking, to not shutting up.

eviltwin

A select few. I've had serious depression in the past and I now know the value of talking stuff out when I'm getting stressed. Talking is good but it has to be to the right audience. Not everyone gets it.

.......

freshpopcorn wrote: »

I might be taking you up in the wrong content but I'd service/repair the car myself and do things that I can myself. If I had to seek auport with an issue I'd get help.
With my mental health I believe I am similar. All this talking/etc wouldn't be for me.

People differ in both their ability to deal with things (at all, alone or otherwise) and in what method they find best to deal with things.

Some methods are less healthy than others. I find it good to run how I am feeling and how I am dealing with it past someone I deem to be reasonable - just in case my own thought process has become unreasonable as a result of whatever is going on.

I have a couple of people close to me who suffer (in different ways) with their mental health. One of the things that I have noticed is that they are often blind to the lead up to a "break down" because their mind rationalises behaviours that they are engaging in.

So in case I am blind to myself I prefer to talk to other people about my mental health from time to time.

freshpopcorn

Just to note I would always recommend people to talk to people and get help of they felt they needed.

Mrs OBumble

Tell me how wrote: »

I consider mental health similar to other illnesses. If its a discomfort, a growing sense of starting to feel unwell, speak to friends/family, but if it's very dark or potentially serious, go to the professionals. Like asking for advice on a bad back, if its a slight tightness, a suggestion of stretches from a non-professional might help but if it is crippling pain or partial paralysis, go to the professionals.

This plus lots

By comparison: I've had some major gynaecological issues over the last few years (now thankfully sorted).

I've spoken to most friends and acquaintances about them in only the most general terms. They don't have the knowledge to say anyrhing useful and frankly ... meh, it's iccky stuff to discuss.

However the general terms have been enough to start some interesting patient to fellow patient conversations with people who chose to sjare more with me. I suspect that people with mental illnesses may have similar experiences.

troyzer

I think too many people are reluctant to talk because they don't want to be a burden. Then they get to the state where they're in a bad way and ARE a burden.

Not enough people are proactive enough about their mental health and too many people will get to crisis point before unleashing on a friend who might be understanding but clearly unable to help at that point.

P_1

Chat about it with a few good friends. Most of the time I have my own release valve in exercise so that's usually my go to when I'm feeling crap