Attending a non-Christian wedding on a Good Friday

c0w3jz6eia8h9n

Advice

FishOnABike

Are you getting married in a religious ceremony or a civil ceremony?

c0w3jz6eia8h9n

FishOnABike wrote: »

Are you getting married in a religious ceremony or a civil ceremony?

Civil

CIARAN_BOYLE

it all depends on the person.

ask yourself I'd they are being honest or a hypocritical for the sake of appearances.

Would they refrain from alcohol on good Friday, refrain from eating meat, attend religious services?

If the answer is yes then I would expect them to reject a wedding invitation as a matter of course.

if the answer is no then they are being hypocritical with you.

crossman47

I would have sympathy with your mother if she is a religous person. I would probably attend if it was one of my children but wouldn't attend any other wedding on Good Friday.

c0w3jz6eia8h9n

Thanks for all the advice so far folks

Defunkd

Grace Dazzling Surname wrote: »

Hi there,

I am hoping for a bit of advice and perception of what people's thoughts are in this forum about a wedding taking place on a Good Friday?

My fiancée and I got engaged about a month and a half ago and quickly got into planning the wedding. There is a hotel that we both like but unfortunately they only had very limited availability for 2019. One of two dates they had was Good Friday and seeing that both of us aren't religious we went for that and didn't think that there would be much of an issue. The other date available wasn't suitable for a number of reasons.

The crux of the issue now lies with my family. My mother is religious and has stated that if we go ahead on Good Friday that she will not attend. I'm pretty upset about the whole thing to be honest and seeing as we've paid our deposit it seems like we're stuck between a rock and a hard place. I've tried talking to her but it hasn't helped in the slightest.

As practicing Christians is the thought of a Good Friday wedding really repulsive and something that you would deem as being a no-go?

Not repulsive to me but it doesn't sit well with your mom for whatever reason. If i went to a GF wedding i'd try to restrain myself but GF isn't a sour and dull day, that has to be devoid of joy, happiness or celebration.
What if a grandchild is born on a GF? Can she visit in hospital or is that not keeping with the mood of the day?

You've your date booked so i think you should stick to it. She has seven months to properly decide if she wants to go (it's not against church teaching to attend, so it comes down to if she wants to be there) and she could get her stations done in the morning if it is important to her.
Ask her to talk to the local priest or get him to have a chat with her?

kneemos

Maybe getting married on a good Friday with a civil ceremony is the issue rather than her religious ceremonies.
Most parents would put aside their foibles for the day I'd imagine.

Peregrinus

A wedding on a Good Friday is a bit of a challenge for a practising Christian, yes. It's just . . . deeply inappropriate.

I get that you're in an awkward situation here but, of course, so is your mother. And she may feel - not entirely without justification - that this awkward situation you are both in is one of your making, not hers. So there may be a bit of resentment there.

Obviously it's your wedding, and you and your fiancée are (I assume) not Christians, and there's no reason why you should have any issue with marrying on Good Friday. But the point about a wedding is that it isn't just about the two of you; it's about the two of you and your wider family and community. And you've picked a day which - although you didn't appreciate it at the time - causes a problem for the Christian members of your family and community.

No offence was intended, obviously, but at the very least your mother (and possibly others, but she's the most significant one) is going to feel there has been some disregard of her in your wedding planning. I think the way forward here is to start by acknowledging to yourselves that you have made a mistake. Obviously you've already thought about whether rescheduling is possible and the answer is "no". The next best thing you can do is to apologies to your mother, admit that you have stuffed up and try to mend fences. This may soften her attitude enough that she feels able to come, at least to the actual ceremony.

Cabaal

I'd say the issue is more about the civil ceremony then it being good Friday,
I'd partially agree about the wedding being about more then just you, it is about friends and family. But its also about friends and family putting you as a couple first too and celebrating your day. If your mother would rather not do that imho that may suggest she is just using GF as an excuse and there's something else she has an issue with (likely the fact its not religious for example).

Be mindful of what concessions you make to suit her because she may expect the same again in future, for example if there are any kids in future that you may not wish to baptise.

I wouldn't be in favour of you going to her and apologising and admitting its all your fault, while the suggestion is this may soften her attitude I'd say its more likely to lead to her dictating whats acceptable wedding wise for you as a couple (ie: religious wedding), I've seen this happen countless times with different couples who want non religious ceremony's and religious parents.

Peregrinus

Cabaal wrote: »

I'd say the issue is more about the civil ceremony then it being good Friday,

Well, maybe. But nothing posted by the OP suggests this, and the OP is in a much better position to know this than we are. And the mother's position, as described in the OP, can be understood and explained without hypothesising a hidden agenda. So I'm inclined to take the OP at face value.

Still, you could be right. So . . .

OP, it crucially matters here whether this is a case of:

(a) you imposing on your mother's religious position by requiring her to choose between missing your wedding or celebrating a wedding on Good Friday; or

(b) your mother imposing on your religious position by trying to pressure you into having a religious wedding, or to make you feel guilty for not having a religious wedding.

If it's actually the latter that's going on, then this isn't really about Good Friday at all; the day is just a proxy for the bigger issue.

If you think that might be the case, maybe best to restart the conversation in a new thread. While the Good Friday issue is quite specific, the general issue of parents unhappy with their adult children's lack of religiosity, and this unhappiness playing out in relation to wedding arrangements, is one a lot of boardies will have had some experience of, and there may be quite a bit of practical wisdom that they can offer you about how to navigate this with minimal damage to your own self-respect or the quality of your family relationships.

And there might also be merit in opening the new thread on the Atheism and Agnosticism forum or in the Weddings, Marriages and Civil Partnerships forum, since unbelievers who have dealt with this won't necessarily see it if posted in the Christianity forum.

homer911

OP has removed all context for this thread - perhaps it was being followed by family and friends

splinter65

The reason that GF was one of only 2 dates available to the OP and fiancée is that no one would want to get married that day if there were any other days free.
GF is traditionally still a day for doing absolutely feck all.
For a lot of people it is the start of a 4 day weekend. For parents of school going children it is possibly a week in Spain or Portugal.
For religious Catholics like the OPs mother GF is first of all one of 2 days of fast and abstinence the other being Ash Wednesday. Secondly the Lords Passion service in her local church is at 3pm and would be the focus of her day.
The OP is asking her to forgo that probably for the first time in her adult life to go totally unnecessarily to a HSE clinic to observe while the OP enters into a legal contract with his/her fiancée.
My brother had a civil ceremony this summer in France where he lives on a Saturday with his two little girls and his neighbor and wife as witnesses. He told us about it on the Monday. So what?
The OP needs to tell his mother not to worry about it and that he understands that GF is not a day that suits her in any way, and just get one with his arrangements. It’s not anything to fall out about and I do think he kinda shoulda known that this would happen.

eviltwin

I think putting your faith ahead of a significant day in your child's life is pretty despicable. We should be adult enough to put our own personal opinions to one side to join our children doing something in a way that matters to them. Someone in the family needs to tell Mother it's not all about her. If she doesn't go she will regret it.

I went through this with my own wedding - 10 years ago next week! - and the family never recovered. And the person who didn't go has never lived it down. I hope she reconsiders.

splinter65

Eviltwin the way I would look at this is, if it was so important to have his mother at his wedding then he should have known well that even if she did go that she would not be able to relax and enjoy the day thinking that she was completely going against her own gut instinct, honed over many years trying to adhere to her faith.
He appears to be surprised that his own practicing catholic mother doesn’t want to break open the champagne and put her glad rags on on GF, of all days? Please! He had to have known!
As I said already, there’s a reason the date was free...

eviltwin

splinter65 wrote: »

Eviltwin the way I would look at this is, if it was so important to have his mother at his wedding then he should have known well that even if she did go that she would not be able to relax and enjoy the day thinking that she was completely going against her own gut instinct, honed over many years trying to adhere to her faith.
He appears to be surprised that his own practicing catholic mother doesn’t want to break open the champagne and put her glad rags on on GF, of all days? Please! He had to have known!
As I said already, there’s a reason the date was free...

I get that its an important day for her but it's her child's wedding. Surely that trumps a religious obligation? It's not like she has chosen for the wedding to fall on this date, wouldn't she be excused under the circumstances?

I don't understand it. It's a very important day for her child, i cant imagine how she could refuse to go.

Defunkd

eviltwin wrote: »

I get that its an important day for her but it's her child's wedding. Surely that trumps a religious obligation? It's not like she has chosen for the wedding to fall on this date, wouldn't she be excused under the circumstances?

I don't understand it. It's a very important day for her child, i cant imagine how she could refuse to go.

GF is not an obligation, so her mom doesn't need to be excused. Besides, mom could go to the commeration and return after if she wants to. Plenty of ways to skin this cat...but seeing op has removed the detail, she might not want anymore advice.

splinter65

eviltwin wrote: »

I get that its an important day for her but it's her child's wedding. Surely that trumps a religious obligation? It's not like she has chosen for the wedding to fall on this date, wouldn't she be excused under the circumstances?

I don't understand it. It's a very important day for her child, i cant imagine how she could refuse to go.

If I was her I would be so confused and hurt to think that my adult son knew so little about me as to think that I would be overjoyed that he chose GF as his wedding day. It’s his apparent astonishment at his mothers reaction that I find telling. It doesn’t really demonstrate a good working “ mother/son” relationship.
Look she’ll probably go. But there’s going to be a bit of a cloud hanging over it and there may well be other older family members on both sides who will be a little uncomfortable.
But the bride and groom should have at least wondered when it was the only date that was available in the hotel if there was going to be problems. They didn’t, these are the consequences

splinter65

Defunkd wrote: »

GF is not an obligation, so her mom doesn't need to be excused. Besides, mom could go to the commeration and return after if she wants to. Plenty of ways to skin this cat...but seeing op has removed the detail, she might not want anymore advice.

In Canon Law GF is an obligatory day of fast and abstinence with no exclusions. I don’t know how you think this could tie in with celebrating and enjoying her sons wedding.

kneemos

splinter65 wrote: »

If I was her I would be so confused and hurt to think that my adult son knew so little about me as to think that I would be overjoyed that he chose GF as his wedding day. It’s his apparent astonishment at his mothers reaction that I find telling. It doesn’t really demonstrate a good working “ mother/son” relationship.
Look she’ll probably go. But there’s going to be a bit of a cloud hanging over it and there may well be other older family members on both sides who will be a little uncomfortable.
But the bride and groom should have at least wondered when it was the only date that was available in the hotel if there was going to be problems. They didn’t, these are the consequences

Old and new Ireland. Probably a shock to the system that anyone would contemplate getting hitched on a GF for the older generation.
The give has to be on the mother's side though I'd agree.

Defunkd

splinter65 wrote: »

In Canon Law GF is an obligatory day of fast and abstinence with no exclusions. I don’t know how you think this could tie in with celebrating and enjoying her sons wedding.

When fasting, at its least, consists of not eating meat, it is not difficult to comply. A woman that doesn't take a drink too often will have no problem not doing it on GF but drinking alcohol is not a sin - no matter the day, so if she has a few drinks she has done neither rigght nor wrong.
Loads of exemptions from fasting...students, over 60/under 18, people travelling, people doing physically demanding work, the ill/infirm...

The purpose of the GF fasting/abstinence isn't to prevent people from being joyful or being happy.

cruizer101

splinter65 wrote: »

In Canon Law GF is an obligatory day of fast and abstinence with no exclusions. I don’t know how you think this could tie in with celebrating and enjoying her sons wedding.

To be fair a lot of christian's in Ireland pick and choose which bits of the religion the want to follow so it is entirely plausible that a practicing christian wouldn't be too worried about it.

smacl

cruizer101 wrote: »

To be fair a lot of christian's in Ireland pick and choose which bits of the religion the want to follow so it is entirely plausible that a practicing christian wouldn't be too worried about it.

Indeed. Up until the ban was lifted I'd guess that the preceding Thursday was one of the busiest days of the year for most off-licenses.

splinter65

Defunkd wrote: »

When fasting, at its least, consists of not eating meat, it is not difficult to comply. A woman that doesn't take a drink too often will have no problem not doing it on GF but drinking alcohol is not a sin - no matter the day, so if she has a few drinks she has done neither rigght nor wrong.
Loads of exemptions from fasting...students, over 60/under 18, people travelling, people doing physically demanding work, the ill/infirm...

The purpose of the GF fasting/abstinence isn't to prevent people from being joyful or being happy.

Just as a reminder, during Lent we are called to abstain from meat on Fridays as a reminder that our Lord offered His body a flesh sacrifice for our sins. We also abstain from meat and fast on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. Here the fast entails having only one full meal a day which is sufficient to maintain ones strength. Two other meatless meals are allowed, but are to be light and pentitential. Everyone 14 years of age and older is bound to the law of abstinence, and everyone 18 years of age but not yet 60 is bound to the law of fasting. Of course, one must be mindful of his own physical condition. These physical sacrifices help each of us to be spiritually mindful that Our Lord suffered and died for our sins.

GF is just not an appropriate day for a practicing Catholic to be the mother of the groom. There were 363 other days but it seems that this was the day the groom picked and was then astonished when his mother didn’t seem very enthusiastic.
Why do you think the day was only one of 2 available?

Defunkd

splinter65 wrote: »

GF is just not an appropriate day for a practicing Catholic to be the mother of the groom. There were 363 other days but it seems that this was the day the groom picked and was then astonished when his mother didn’t seem very enthusiastic.
Why do you think the day was only one of 2 available?

If you are going to copy and paste, at least insert quotation marks.

What exactly makes it inappropriate for her to be mother of a non-catholic groom on GF/through Lent? motg doesn't have to do anything inconsistent with christian teaching.

It's not her decision to make when her non-religious son chooses to marry and she will still be motg whether she attends, stays home in prayer for the entire day or does whatever.
I think you are focusing too much on 'legalities' and codes of conduct that don't exist. She can fully observe GF and participate in her son's wedding reception.


Seeing as last year was only the removal of GF alcohol thing, it will take a few years for trends to catch up. If discounts are being offered, GF marriage receptions will become more popular until demand raises the prices.

splinter65

Defunkd wrote: »

If you are going to copy and paste, at least insert quotation marks.

What exactly makes it inappropriate for her to be mother of a non-catholic groom on GF/through Lent? motg doesn't have to do anything inconsistent with christian teaching.

It's not her decision to make when her non-religious son chooses to marry and she will still be motg whether she attends, stays home in prayer for the entire day or does whatever.
I think you are focusing too much on 'legalities' and codes of conduct that don't exist. She can fully observe GF and participate in her son's wedding reception.


Seeing as last year was only the removal of GF alcohol thing, it will take a few years for trends to catch up. If discounts are being offered, GF marriage receptions will become more popular until demand raises the prices.

Rules and regulations of RCC are not “legalities”. They’re guidelines for how to be a proper catholic.
Some people don’t want to be a la carte Catholics they want to be proper Catholics.
It’s not her desicion when who or how her son gets married but it is entirely her right to feel hurt that he knew her so vaguely as to think that she would be delighted to attend his celebrations on GF.
I fully appreciate how she feels about that.

kneemos

splinter65 wrote: »

Rules and regulations of RCC are not “legalities”. They’re guidelines for how to be a proper catholic.
Some people don’t want to be a la carte Catholics they want to be proper Catholics.
It’s not her desicion when who or how her son gets married but it is entirely her right to feel hurt that he knew her so vaguely as to think that she would be delighted to attend his celebrations on GF.
I fully appreciate how she feels about that.

He's not getting married to his mother in fairness.

Defunkd

splinter65 wrote: »

Rules and regulations of RCC are not “legalities”. They’re guidelines for how to be a proper catholic.
Some people don’t want to be a la carte Catholics they want to be proper Catholics.
It’s not her desicion when who or how her son gets married but it is entirely her right to feel hurt that he knew her so vaguely as to think that she would be delighted to attend his celebrations on GF.
I fully appreciate how she feels about that.

A proper catholic is defined by what they eat or don't eat on GF?
Attending weddings isnt prohibited on GF and is not sinful. That's the bottom line.
She is free to attend without fault.

c0w3jz6eia8h9n

I appreciate all the responses and the different points of views.

It's really tearing me up inside and it was never my intention to offend my mother.

I'm slowly resigning myself to the fact that she will not be there and I will try to not make a big deal of it for the sake of our relationship. By accepting that she will not go I can try and attain some enjoyment from the build up to the wedding. Otherwise, if I just dwell on the fact that she won't attend it will just take all the good of the occasion.
I've been miserable for the past few weeks, I'm not too sure I can go on like this for the next seven months. It's not good for my mental health and not good for my wife-to-be as I'm not the same person to be around.

Obviously hindsight is a great thing and if I had known that it would cause such a reaction I would not have booked the wedding for then. However, the deposit is paid and we have very little option but to go through with that date.

Defunkd

OP, not to pry into your relationships but there must be some other factor influencing her decision. Is she unhappy with your fiancee?, unhappy about it being a civil marriage?
There is no church law or dictate that says she can't go. If she genuinely fears that she will be committing a sin by going, get her to talk to a priest. The GF 'rules' are there to help people to get the most out of GF, not to restrict them from things.
Give her time and remind her every now and then that you want her there.

c0w3jz6eia8h9n

Defunkd wrote: »

OP, not to pry into your relationships but there must be some other factor influencing her decision. Is she unhappy with your fiancee?, unhappy about it being a civil marriage?

She definitely is not happy with it being a civil marriage; she has mentioned as much. A church wedding isn't something that I would feel comfortable with but she has said that it's not a real wedding unless it happens in front of God.

There are probably two issues at play: one it's a civil ceremony; and two that it's on GF.
I think she probably feels that I've brought shame on the family and has told me to not invite any of my relations on her side which points to that reasoning.

Defunkd

Sorry man, i don't think there's any reasonable advice that can change that. Keep dropping reminders that she's invited and it's your only wedding...she might come around.

cruizer101

Grace Dazzling Surname wrote: »

she has said that it's not a real wedding unless it happens in front of God.

Thats just ridiculous and tbh you have my sympathy trying to deal with an attitude like that. Someone mentioned it earlier about having her ask her local priest what they think it might not be a bad idea as to be fair most of them are sensible enough people.

Grace Dazzling Surname wrote: »

has told me to not invite any of my relations on her side which points to that reasoning.

I would ignore that, its not her place to decide who gets invited to your wedding

splinter65

kneemos wrote: »

He's not getting married to his mother in fairness.

No he’s not and he should go ahead and accept that his mother isn’t going to be happy one way or the other on his wedding day if it’s Good Friday, nothing can be done about it, she can’t help how she feels no more than any of us but ultimately I think she’s justified in being puzzled (at least) as to why he is so surprised at how she reacted to his news.

eviltwin

Seems like she would have a tantrum regardless of the date if she's of the opinion that a "real" marriage happens in a church. Not much you can do to appease someone as self centred as that beyond completely changing your plans to suit them which is ridiculous.

splinter65

Defunkd wrote: »

A proper catholic is defined by what they eat or don't eat on GF?
Attending weddings isnt prohibited on GF and is not sinful. That's the bottom line.
She is free to attend without fault.

Your putting words in my mouth but you know that. I’ll ask you again. Why do you think that GF was one of only 2 dates free in 2019 in that hotel? The alcohol law was repealed 12 months ago. You’d think since 2017 they’d have plenty of enquires for 2019, so why is that date still free?

splinter65

Grace Dazzling Surname wrote: »

She definitely is not happy with it being a civil marriage; she has mentioned as much. A church wedding isn't something that I would feel comfortable with but she has said that it's not a real wedding unless it happens in front of God.

There are probably two issues at play: one it's a civil ceremony; and two that it's on GF.
I think she probably feels that I've brought shame on the family and has told me to not invite any of my relations on her side which points to that reasoning.

She told you that she’s not approving of a civil wedding and she’s embarrassed by it. So you went ahead and booked a civil wedding for Good Friday and you’re surprised and disappointed in her reaction?

ozbackineire

splinter65 wrote: »

She told you that she’s not approving of a civil wedding and she’s embarrassed by it. So you went ahead and booked a civil wedding for Good Friday and you’re surprised and disappointed in her reaction?

Its not his mothers wedding, why should he have a wedding in a church if he isn't religious just to suit his mother? It is the mam's loss, she might change her mind and I hope she does for your sake.

ShaShaBear

splinter65 wrote: »

She told you that she’s not approving of a civil wedding and she’s embarrassed by it. So you went ahead and booked a civil wedding for Good Friday and you’re surprised and disappointed in her reaction?

Of course he went ahead! Should he have booked it in a church instead just to appease her and do you think she would have been delighted to watch her son and daughter-in-law be hypocrites and liars in her house of worship?

Cabaal

splinter65 wrote: »

She told you that she’s not approving of a civil wedding and she’s embarrassed by it. So you went ahead and booked a civil wedding for Good Friday and you’re surprised and disappointed in her reaction?

I guess some people think family members will put their family's first, crazy idea really I suppose.

ShaShaBear wrote: »

Of course he went ahead! Should he have booked it in a church instead just to appease her and do you think she would have been delighted to watch her son and daughter-in-law be hypocrites and liars in her house of worship?

From my experience with people who get all upset about non religious weddings/events, they are more then happy for the people to be hypocrites and liars in a church...once they get the religious event.

c0w3jz6eia8h9n

splinter65 wrote: »

She told you that she’s not approving of a civil wedding and she’s embarrassed by it. So you went ahead and booked a civil wedding for Good Friday and you’re surprised and disappointed in her reaction?

I didn't book the wedding after hearing her reaction, I booked it beforehand, not realising that it would be such an issue.

ShaShaBear

Grace Dazzling Surname wrote: »

I didn't book the wedding after hearing her reaction, I booked it beforehand, not realising that it would be such an issue.

It's totally understandable that you thought that. It's only natural to assume your mother will be happy that you're happy and put her child's feelings first. It sounds to me as though she was discontent even before the date was set. I all but guarantee you if you DID change the date now, she would put immense pressure on you to then change to a religious wedding, thinking she will get her way.
We had a civil ceremony in a hotel nearby our home and a lot of people were puzzled to say the least, but they all agreed afterward that it held an immense about of special meaning, intimacy and love. I know of a few non-religious people who invited their local priest to essentially "bless" the union after the ceremony to appease religious relatives. We didn't go for this, but it's a reasonable compromise!
At this stage, all you can do is tell your mum that you're sorry she feels the way she does, but you will be going ahead with the wedding and inviting the people YOU want there (including your family on her side) and leave her to cool off. You might find once she realises what she's missing out on, she will change her tune. After all, she can fast just fine at a wedding!

Try to stay calm, think about that special moment when the woman you love walks up that aisle and promises to love you forever. It's beautiful, no matter where you do it. You're going to make a new family together and be there for each other when things get tough. Once she shows up, you're pretty much set

splinter65

ozbackineire wrote: »

Its not his mothers wedding, why should he have a wedding in a church if he isn't religious just to suit his mother? It is the mam's loss, she might change her mind and I hope she does for your sake.

I never said he should suit his mother or do anything to appease her.
I’m incredulous that he’s now expressing disappointment and stress at his mothers reaction to his announcement about his wedding arrangements when
A. He’s known her, lived with her indeed his whole life and,
B. She made her feelings about a civil ceremony quite clear before he made these arrangements.
Do you not think it’s a bit odd?

c0w3jz6eia8h9n

splinter65 wrote: »

B. She made her feelings about a civil ceremony quite clear before he made these arrangements.

She actually hadn't and I didn't know this before booking the wedding.

I knew she'd prefer a church but she has attended a cousins civil ceremony before. She didn't object so although I knew she'd rather a church I thought that she'd be ok with it.

ShaShaBear

splinter65 wrote: »

I never said he should suit his mother or do anything to appease her.
I’m incredulous that he’s now expressing disappointment and stress at his mothers reaction to his announcement about his wedding arrangements when
A. He’s known her, lived with her indeed his whole life and,
B. She made her feelings about a civil ceremony quite clear before he made these arrangements.
Do you not think it’s a bit odd?

Unless his mother sat down and said to him "If you go ahead with a civil ceremony and have it on a religious holiday, I will not attend your wedding" then how on earth was he ever going to know that's how she would react? Plenty of this country consider themselves devout and are very lax on certain aspects. The OP is the only one who knows his mother in this case, and for all YOU know, she could make a habit of being lax about religious holidays, and is just being difficult. Him being "surprised" is his right, as he has the full story. However, you make a point in almost every single post that he's known his mother his whole life, and should somehow have known she would do this.
His mother has known him his whole life too - surely she should have known him well enough to know he would do this and tell him if it was against her wishes?

eviltwin

splinter65 wrote: »

I never said he should suit his mother or do anything to appease her.
I’m incredulous that he’s now expressing disappointment and stress at his mothers reaction to his announcement about his wedding arrangements when
A. He’s known her, lived with her indeed his whole life and,
B. She made her feelings about a civil ceremony quite clear before he made these arrangements.
Do you not think it’s a bit odd?

I'm sure the OP expected her to be put out by his plans, he probably didn't expect her to refuse to go.

I cant believe you are defending the woman, she's being incredibly selfish and hurtful to the entire family and making a show of herself.

This is her son. I would do anything if it meant being there for my child on their wedding day no matter what I personally believe.

Defunkd

eviltwin wrote: »

Seems like she would have a tantrum regardless of the date if she's of the opinion that a "real" marriage happens in a church. Not much you can do to appease someone as self centred as that beyond completely changing your plans to suit them which is ridiculous.

Hey! No need to insult the man's mother.

Defunkd

splinter65 wrote: »

Your putting words in my mouth but you know that. I’ll ask you again. Why do you think that GF was one of only 2 dates free in 2019 in that hotel? The alcohol law was repealed 12 months ago. You’d think since 2017 they’d have plenty of enquires for 2019, so why is that date still free?

You forget that i put a q 2 you first and you ignored it...but can we just let this go. You're right about everything. Congratulations on winning an argument on the internet 👑

Turtwig

Defunkd wrote: »

You forget that i put a q 2 you first and you ignored it...but can we just let this go. You're right about everything. Congratulations on winning an argument on the internet ��

Mod:

Hi Defunfd,

Text speech is not appropriate for this forum (or site). Further more, the general tone of this post is not conducive to a constructive and civil discussion. Please reconsider your posting style.

Thanks