Anyone else having regular sex with an ex?

NDD18

I’m wondering if I’m the only woman who broke up with an ex, and after a little over a year ended up just getting into an agreement with him where we’d just meet for sex and that’s it. Going on 8 months now and seems to be working fine for us both.

Baby01032012

Yeah....so why did you post in relationship issues if it’s working out for “ye”... remind me again.

Is it just sex or is someone getting emotionally attached

vectorvictor

Generally ends in carnage with one wanting more and the other being happy with the arrangement and wanting no more. The relationship beforehand cant have been that meaningful if this solution is working for ye as for a normal broken up couple it would be tinged.

If you can both deal with the reality that one day the sex won't be there and will be completely unaffected when one of you will call off the arrangement because you have met someone else then you are hurting no one. Personally I think anyone would need to be made of stone to not be affected by that but that is the only basis I think you could "use" an ex for sex on.

It's a lazy way of getting needs met. Leave exes where they belong and find someone else to scratch your itch would be my initial thought.

ShaShaBear

NDD18 wrote: »

I’m wondering if I’m the only woman who broke up with an ex, and after a little over a year ended up just getting into an agreement with him where we’d just meet for sex and that’s it. Going on 8 months now and seems to be working fine for us both.

I tried it for several months. Thought it was working out pretty well too until I had to cancel an arranged "meeting" because I had a date. He was more than happy to sleep with other women and me, but found he wasn't altogether pleased to find out I was doing the same. He did admit that he hadn't actually considered it and felt silly for it, but there was the possessiveness and we called it off. I agree with previous posters in that it never ends well and you would definitely have to have a heart of stone not to be affected when the other person tells you they've found someone they want to be faithful to sexually and commit to emotionally and romantically and it aint you

paw patrol

No, Ex's are ex's for a reason.

If you want sex there are plenty of less complicated options.

suicide_circus

Danger Will Robinson! Danger!

been there before, always ends in tears, messy messy tears.

HalloweenJack

Tricky enough situation as it is, even more so with exes involved. I did it myself for a while and dragged out what was an already bitter break up to a rotten relationship into one that was far more painful and unnecessarily so. It set both of us back a long time. IME, it isn't a good idea.

um7y1h83ge06nx

Depends on the case. One of my exes and I used to have sex pretty regularly for months after we broke up. It worked as we both sort of felt it was over but our sex life was great.

Guess being good overall friends helps. A little weird at the start when you know you're both also meeting other people.

The major plus is you both know what each other likes and even if you're going through a dry spell meeting other people you have a fallback plan.

vectorvictor

Kye Gorgeous Skepticism wrote: »

Guess being good overall friends helps. A little weird at the start when you know you're both also meeting other people.

Would find that really difficult. Staying sexually involved with someone you once cared about who is also off with other guys? Did you not have any emotion about that?

I agree it's more convenient and probably slightly safer than casual one nighters but more of a mind screw than anything else

um7y1h83ge06nx

Yeah, it was a bit strange at first to be fair, guess I wanted to move on emotionally. Plus I was meeting other girls as well.

To be fair many people get emotionally caught up in these situations or end up getting stuck in a rut with the ex and not bothering to being open to meeting someone new.

IamtheWalrus

If he told you tomorrow he wanted to end the agreement, how would you feel? Gutted I'm guessing, like any of us.

ginandtonicsky

Are you meeting and actively dating other men? How would you feel if he was?

Personally I can think of nothing more self-destructive than getting into a FWB with my ex. It was hard enough to try to get over him without actually seeing him and having sex with him regularly.

I think you need to clean up your emotional hygiene and establish some boundaries with the ex so you can both move on.

LegacyUser

Doesn't sound like its working just fine, it sounds like one of you wanted out, then neither of you found anything better, so somebody decided on a bit of retrosexuality and the other played along. Obviously it's between the two of you if you're happy or not, but if you were, you wouldn't be posting this thread.