Alot has changed in 30 years (do kids play outside anymore?)

Andrewf20

It really struck me this summer just how empty the housing estates and surrounding areas were during the summer despite the great weather. There was barely a kid to be seen outside. 30 years ago there would a load out. And it's not just where we live but its also true in a few other estates I'm familiar with around the capital.

There was a river (in Dublin) I used to play at in the 1980/90s along with a load of other kids. We had the banks of it worn down to dust with the amount of play at it - building basic stepping stone bridges, wading through in our wellies etc. I ventured down to it recently and it looked like it hadn't been touched in 20 years. Overgrown, long grass, weeds and big trees were there now.

We live in Dublin still and I'm wondering is this a nationwide phenomenon or is it mainly in the capital cities? We have a 2 year old + another on the way. I reckon the high housing costs are forcing both parents to work full time so theres hardly any parents at home to bring up the kids. I'm not sure where the kids are at weekends though. (organised Gaelic football etc does take place some evenings but that's all I really see). I have a feeling it might be better living down the country in this regard, I.e. better standard of living and better balance.

Have you seen this also and are there other key reasons for it?

Sal Butamol

Parents wrapping their kids in cotton wool, parents that would rather hand their kids a phone/tablet to shut them up, parents out working while someone else rears their kids

The fecking school don't even allow them run in the yard anymore.

_Brian

Ours are outside allot over the summer. They’re old enough now to be at home when we’re at work, previously they were with my sister who lives on a dangerous main road so it was hard.

Bikes, swings, scooters, trampoline. Sometimes just sitting about reading and playing with the cats.
Just this evening they had their 2YO niece outside for a few hours playing.

They do allot of organised activities from swimming, dancing and horse riding. Eldest swims 12 hours a week, she’s 15.

byhookorbycrook

Sal Butamol wrote: »

Parents wrapping their kids in cotton wool, parents that would rather hand their kids a phone/tablet to shut them up, parents out working while someone else rears their kids

The fecking school don't even allow them run in the yard anymore.

Mainly because some "fecking parents" sued the school for a simple playground fall.

Hannibal_Smith

Sal Butamol wrote: »

Parents wrapping their kids in cotton wool, parents that would rather hand their kids a phone/tablet to shut them up, parents out working while someone else rears their kids

The fecking school don't even allow them run in the yard anymore.

Parents tryna earn a living...shame on them!

Andrewf20

Organised activities seem to be the done thing now alright. The days of kids running free (relatively) are gone it seems. In other words, kids (8+) dissapearing for hours is not done anymore.

I think the culture has changed. Years ago, kids were unconsciously watching out for each other and mammys were out chatting to other neighbours or watching through net curtains.

I somehow feel the childhood of 30 years ago were better but maybe I'm wrong.

salmocab

Kids in my estate in Dublin are out constantly, there are games of football, chasing and whatever going on all the time. I’ve no doubt that there is more in the house for them these days but kids want to be out and about.

dubstepper

Definitely parents don't allow 5-10 years olds wander around as they used to do 30/40 years ago. But is it possible that your estate has aged? If there were lots of kids in it in the 80/90s then they have all grown and left but probably their parents are still alive. I have the same story for my area in Dublin.

Andrewf20

dubstepper wrote: »

Definitely parents don't allow 5-10 years olds wander around as they used to do 30/40 years ago. But is it possible that your estate has aged? If there were lots of kids in it in the 80/90s then they have all grown and left but probably their parents are still alive. I have the same story for my area in Dublin.

Yes, the estate has aged alright but there's a sprinkling of younger families that have moved in over time. I'd say the ratio is 4:1 with 4 times as many older families / grand parents etc.

lazygal

We weren't let run wild outside 30+ years ago and had a lot of scheduled activities. My children's childhood isn't that different from mine.

punisher5112

I don't know where yee are but plenty of areas over run with out of control kids.

Gangs hanging around and all.

I agree not as many out playing as tech seems to have taken over.

whiskeyman

Hige factor is mum's going back to work.
30 years ago, the majority of mother's were stay at home housewives.
As mentioned above, kids are now in summer camps or organised play times.

splinter65

Children aged from about 3 to 8 play out in our end of the estate all day long all summer . About 12 kids altogether. Mostly girls. One house has 5 children who aren't allowed outside their own front garden.

Cabaal

Live in a small town and estate wise for the most part its pretty much the same, very few kids most of the time.
There's a river going through the town and throughout the years up until mid 90's it would be busy every day with kids swimming, this year was the first year i've seen anyone swimming in it since then, some kids and some teenagers.

Growing up I lived beside said river and we used to spend about 3-4hrs a day in it throughout the summer, we used to "brorrow" pallets from local factory's to build rafts....great fun, shame to see people not bothering anymore.

The ironic thing now is its cleaner now then it was back in the 80's, as I remember a fish kill happening in the river in the 80's and there hasn't been one since. The County council have also stopped alot of sewage flowing into it further down stream (we used to swim above where it entered the river)

Sunny Dayz

I agree that times have changed. When I was young I lived in the country - we climbed about in ditches, wandered up the country road once we didn't go near the busy main road and when we went visiting cousins or friends in the town we went walking to the shop for sweets from the age of 7 or 8 and were out playing in the housing estates.


Nowadays I find that while kids do still play outside, the age at which they stop playing outside is younger. Once they hit the age of 10 or thereabouts, they stop playing outside, well my son did. He said it was boring, there was nothing to do.


As a parent when you seen reports on Facebook of a suspicious car in such an area, how can you not be over protective of your kids. When you see the speed at which people drive on the roads and through housing estates.

pwurple

Depends on the age of the park a bit I'd say. There's a new housing estate near us, loads of kids out, we bring our own over there to play with their friends. The older, established ones don't have that critical mass of kids. 
All depends what you're used to as well. We didn't live in a housing estate as kids, so it wouldn't have been the norm for us, or what we wanted for our own kids either.  Unstructured play is great, with some trees to climb, dens to build etc. But on a boring square of grass overlooked by identical semi-ds? Not too inspiring. What are they going to do other than vandalism or petty crime to relieve the boredom... 
We live on a busy road, most of the kids go play in eachothers back gardens, maybe a bunch of 10 or so similar age, going between each. Some people have chickens or dogs to play with, other people let them do digging / planting around in the garden, there's some trees and den-building spots in ditches in ours. Works ok for now anyway.

demanufactured

Fortnite

lazygal

whiskeyman wrote: »

Hige factor is mum's going back to work.
30 years ago, the majority of mother's were stay at home housewives.
As mentioned above, kids are now in summer camps or organised play times.

Maybe I had a totally different experience but my mum worked outside the home. We had scheduled plans with friends, we did a lot of activities we were shuttled to and from and I was doing summer camps every year depending on what was available. I'm 36. My children have less structure than I did, if anything. We live in a fairly mixed estate but I can't see myself letting them roam around doing what they like for hours every day. Parents are still responsible for their children.

Is is an urban/rural thing maybe? I grew up in Dublin. My parents wanted to know where we were and what we were doing and who we were doing it with. They're both from rural areas.

bringupthebook

Mine play out on the road most days even if it’s just for an hour at end of the day. Most parents are working at least part of the day so don’t think there are any kids out all the time. We also have play dates but not so much into structured activities as yet. We keep an eye on the road and kids are only allowed up to certain point on the road.

It’s good for them as there is a good range of ages & personalities to mix with.

seamus

I think part of this apparent phenomenon is that there are a lot more older people in estates now than there were. For example, if I lived on the same road I ran around outside on when I was a kid, I wouldn't expect to see any children out running around because the majority of the residents are now 60+.

So even if one or two young families move into a road, you won't see loads of kids out and about. There has to be a critical mass. We have this on our road, all during summer and school holidays, there'll be kids outside from lunchtime to dinnertime. But even neighbours say this is has only happened in the last two years; the kids have all hit a critical age, so now we have between us 10-15 kids between 4 and 10 years of age. In 5/6 years time there'll be no-one out on the road again because half of them will be going off wandering into town and trying to score.

Certainly I do think fewer stay-at-home parents does also contribute to this, kids aren't there to just head out and play.

There is also a bigger drive to not allow children to be idle. Parents are made to feel like there can't be downtime during the day. That sitting and watching the match while the kids play on their own is bad parenting. This makes parents feel like they need to fill every hour of the child's day with an arranged activity. When realistically plenty of "free time" to do what they want is essential.

I don't really buy this "cotton wool" narrative that people want to push. Parents are justifiably more cautious than they used to be - sending your five year old off to buy smokes in the shop on their own or wandering down to the local river/quarry for a bit of a play, was just stupidity.

From what I can tell, most parents have the balance pretty right between "enough freedom to make mistakes" and "enough freedom to kill or disable yourself", and this stereotype of the overbearing, overprotective, "helicopter" parent, is no more prevalent now than it was when I was growing up.

lazygal

My parents have some hair raising stories about things that happened when they were allowed to roam as they liked. A local pervert who was known to prey on children, farm accidents with serious injuries, cars knocking down children and adults on bikes. The whole 'it was better in our day when we were allowed to do 'insert thing here' compared to kids these days' makes no sense. It's entirely dependent on a huge range of factors. Most parents I know aren't helicopter or cotton wool types. They assess the risks and make decisions accordingly.

Kintarō Hattori

Living in North County Dublin and there's a large green area outside my house. It used to drive my missus nuts with the amount of kids out playing on it. If there's any sort of decent weather the kids are always out playing football, skating, on their scooters and more. Now that we have a little lady ourselves we view it completely differently and are glad that there are so many kids out playing. They stay out as late as they can and in summer would be out til 9 or 10pm playing football.

The Bishop Basher

We’re surrounded by brand new estates.

Drove past one yesterday and noticed it was full of kids playing. I thought it was lovely to see.

A lot of the older estates which ironically have the much bigger greens where we played as kids, are all quiet now as the estates become more tenured.

As kids we left the house in the morning and came back when we were hungry. I know ours didn’t have that freedom. I wish they could have but things seem different these days.

Granite Head

Our youngest (9) spent all summer out with her mates - 9am-9pm, living on a road in Dublin. Reminded me of my youth. Has'nt happened for a few years - the weather and her age helped.

Bawnmore

I was thinking about this recently. Our eldest daughter is now 6, and has a handful of friends in the same estate as us. Some of her friends come knocking now for her to come out and play in the evenings, but we'd only ever let her if we were out with her. Is it normal for senior infant aged kids to be out wandering around an estate without parents?

seamus

Bawnmore wrote: »

I was thinking about this recently. Our eldest daughter is now 6, and has a handful of friends in the same estate as us. Some of her friends come knocking now for her to come out and play in the evenings, but we'd only ever let her if we were out with her. Is it normal for senior infant aged kids to be out wandering around an estate without parents?

Yes, but it depends. Our road has a small green in front of it and is mostly bounded by walls and fences. We have no through road. So unless the kids make a conscious decision to run for it, they're very safe out the front, they're never more than 100m from anyone's front door.

When our eldest was four, we generally wouldn't let her out on her own. But then it evolves into whatever parent is out with the kids would offer to keep an eye on all of them. Then it becomes keeping an eye out the window while you're doing some cleaning.

Eventually you realise that when there's a few of them, they're grand. If anyone gets hurt or needs help, they won't be slow running to your house.

She's five and I still wouldn't do something like go have a shower or go work in the back garden while she's out the front, but I wouldn't be standing at the front door watching to make sure she's OK. She's not allowed out unless there are other kids around, and she knows to come home if everyone else has gone in.

_Brian

lazygal wrote: »

My parents have some hair raising stories about things that happened when they were allowed to roam as they liked. A local pervert who was known to prey on children, farm accidents with serious injuries, cars knocking down children and adults on bikes. The whole 'it was better in our day when we were allowed to do 'insert thing here' compared to kids these days' makes no sense. It's entirely dependent on a huge range of factors. Most parents I know aren't helicopter or cotton wool types. They assess the risks and make decisions accordingly.

I agree with much of that.
We had fairly much free run and definitely got up to stuff that was high risk and allot of dares involved. I had many hospital visits for broken bones and stitches as a result.

Bawnmore

seamus wrote: »

Yes, but it depends. Our road has a small green in front of it and is mostly bounded by walls and fences. We have no through road. So unless the kids make a conscious decision to run for it, they're very safe out the front, they're never more than 100m from anyone's front door.

When our eldest was four, we generally wouldn't let her out on her own. But then it evolves into whatever parent is out with the kids would offer to keep an eye on all of them. Then it becomes keeping an eye out the window while you're doing some cleaning.

Eventually you realise that when there's a few of them, they're grand. If anyone gets hurt or needs help, they won't be slow running to your house.

She's five and I still wouldn't do something like go have a shower or go work in the back garden while she's out the front, but I wouldn't be standing at the front door watching to make sure she's OK. She's not allowed out unless there are other kids around, and she knows to come home if everyone else has gone in.

Good to have another opinion on it. We're almost in an identical setup here - we're the last house in a cul de sac of 8 houses with a green that's separate from the rest of the estate - no through traffic. My worry would be that all of the other kids who are our daughters age are free to roam around - the kids from her class who come to play in our area would be from different parts of the estate and come unsupervised. I'd be worried that they might run around in our area for awhile and then head off, which I definitely wouldn't be comfortable with our daughter doing. All of her friends are lovely and we'd know all the parents from birthdays and school who are also great. Might just be ourselves who're having trouble with the idea of it.

seamus

You know your child better than anyone really. Mine knows never to go out of sight or leave the road, and not to go into anyone else's house without coming back and asking. And I know she won't. None of the other kids would either, so there's no peer pressure.

The younger one is a couple of years away from this, but even now I'm not sure she'll be as good at following directions, and might need a tighter leash.

The other kids might be coming around unsupervised, but the parents probably know that's where they are, so know where to go to come and get them.

lazygal

Bawnmore wrote: »

I was thinking about this recently. Our eldest daughter is now 6, and has a handful of friends in the same estate as us. Some of her friends come knocking now for her to come out and play in the evenings, but we'd only ever let her if we were out with her. Is it normal for senior infant aged kids to be out wandering around an estate without parents?

Not here. My daughter is in SI and we don't allows her unsupervised play.

Bawnmore

seamus wrote: »

You know your child better than anyone really. Mine knows never to go out of sight or leave the road, and not to go into anyone else's house without coming back and asking. And I know she won't. None of the other kids would either, so there's no peer pressure.

The younger one is a couple of years away from this, but even now I'm not sure she'll be as good at following directions, and might need a tighter leash.

The other kids might be coming around unsupervised, but the parents probably know that's where they are, so know where to go to come and get them.

Thanks again - definitely good to see it from another perspective.

Not here. My daughter is in SI and we don't allows her unsupervised play.

Ah we're not alone so :P

Bawnmore

byhookorbycrook wrote: »

Mainly because some "fecking parents" sued the school for a simple playground fall.

Our school actually had a case where a child fell, and because they weren't very active/outgoing usually, didn't have the reaction to put their hands down to stop the fall. There was no suing, but the school introduced 15 minutes of activity every morning as a way to ensure everyone's moving every day, even if only a little. The activity varies from skipping to jogging to yoga which is a nice way to start the day anyway I think!

The problem is the perception of risk as opposed to actual risk. I have a big fear of children being near a waterway way of proportion to the actual risk a child would be at, now I know I have picked up this up from my mother its not real. As a child, I was afraid of crossing the road because of her constant talks about the danger of it, too much emphases on danger makes children nervous.

I was listening to a really interesting piece recently about how parents are deliberately picking after school care which is light supervision.

Triangle

My middle child is not the sport type, but when he was 10 I had a surprised conversation with him about quantum theory.
He could hold down a basic conversation on it purely from watching YouTube.

Times have changed, kids now have a lot more knowledge than I ever did as a kid. They're like sponges just absorbing information everywhere (and there is so much information easily available now!)

shesty

My just four year old has just started playing on the street.We live in a cul de sac at the back of a housing estate.There are a few kids in the 4/5/6 range.One 5 year old seems to have nobody who checks on her.The others have parents in and out at the doors all time, keeping an eye (including myself).They have asked or told me if the kids are in one of their houses.As it's coming into Autumn/Winter I figure it will be next year before we really get into the thick of it and I'm ok with that-we also have a two year old who will not be going out.

I presume the person who said their SI is not allowed play unsupervised means that you stand back and watch?Kids need unsupervised play (observing would be my thing, unless they are doing something totally unacceptable).If adults are constantly interfering, we do damage to their entire learning process.We have rules, she must be across the road in one of two gardens, fully visible to me at all times, and not go into a house without checking first, but outside of that I am ok to let her away at it.

lazygal

Yes, by 'supervised' I mean one or other of us would be hovering nearby, usually doing a bit of gardening or chatting to other parents depending. I find getting involved with their play extremely boring so more than happy to let them off to do what they want, but not alone.

shesty

Glad I'm not the only one who feels like that!!:D:D

shesty

mariaalice wrote: »

I was listening to a really interesting piece recently about how parents are deliberately picking after school care which is light supervision.

It's true. I deliberately stand back in playgrounds etc, and let them figure it out for themselves. We have one set of grandparents who hover like crazy, wouldn't let the kids near anything without holding on to them. I was actually really proud of my 4 year old recently when she told them to go away, she could climb the ladder herself (despite the tone she used:rolleyes:). I see a lot of parents helping and holding over small kids - if you actually stand back, just stay within reach without touching, they will figure out what they can and can't do themselves, and it's very good for them, as it develops all their senses and balance, and allows them to realise what is actually dangerous for their ability and what isn't. Otherwise most of them go around thinking everything is so dangerous that they can't distinguish what actually IS dangerous, or they won't try anything by themselves because they have always had someone holding them on everything (and I have friends who then get frustrated that their older 3/4/5 year old won't just go and play in a playground without help, but how can they, when they've never been let?!)


Within reason, the best thing you can do for a child who is playing is stand back and shut up.:P

incaseiforget

Bawnmore wrote: »

Thanks again - definitely good to see it from another perspective.



Ah we're not alone so :P

Definitely not! Our youngest ( of 5 ) is also in SI.

Springfields

lazygal wrote: »

Not here. My daughter is in SI and we don't allows her unsupervised play.

We are the opposite. We live in a large estate (with minor roads) with a huge number of children living here. There is always someone calling at the door and if it's dry then out they go. You just have to teach them some ground rules and this in turn will teach them independence. (I refuse to have 3 snowflakes on my hands when they are older)
They know that if they play on the road or outside it has to he where I can see them if I come outside. They are allowed into about 3 of their friends houses but only if parents say it's OK and only if they come tell me first. There is a green area a street away where they all play but again they have to let me know. And they do because on the one or two occasions they have broken the rules they get sent to their bedrooms and aren't allowed play for the rest of the evening.
4 of us also have a what's app which is handy to keep track.
You can't wrap them up in cotton wool and accompany them every where always so put down some rules and start small. They will be all the better at mixing and interacting with others without mammy looming over their shoulders.
And yes that things happen from time to time but you cannot let this dictate your life...plenty of what ifs...but then we would never go outside the door..

lazygal

It isn't wrapping children in cotton wool to make a different choice about the level of supervision your child has. I was highly supervised as a child, my parents didn't wrap us in cotton wool and we're all functioning adults who are very independent. I don't think staying in the front garden to keep an eye out is looking over their shoulder. I've zero interest in playing with them most of the time but I'm not going to let them roam free and regret doing so until they're a bit older.

Bawnmore

We're the same - I have no interest in playing with the kids when they're with their friends playing outside, but I wouldn't be comfortable if they were out of sight in another part of the estate. They're still young kids after all - independence is definitely a good thing, but a 5/6 year old could still instinctively run onto the road after a ball.

meeeeh

We don't live in the estate so ours are kicked out to play in the garden which is about 2 acres. Grandparents live next door and they can roam around as long as they don't go on the road. Supervision entails phone call next door to tell in-laws to kick them out if they are inside and not to give them too much rubbish. They are 9 and almost 6. That being said the older one isn't outdoorsy at all and has to be sent out. They have some play dates and some structured activities but nothing mental.

I grew up in warmer country and I spent a lot more time outside in the summer. I lived in old style village (detached houses scattered in all directions) with woods behind the house and we would literally disappear for the day. I wasn't much for winter activities but other kids would ice skate on the ponds or ski on the hill next door. I think a lot of this is still going in winter but I see less kids around in the summer when I am there.

blackvalley

Reading through the posts reminds me of a line from the great travel / comedy writer Bill Bryson.
Describing his childhood growing up in rural USA in the fifties he recalls being ushered out the front door at eight in the morning with the instruction not to return until dinner time unless he was " haemorrhaging seriously or actually on fire "

Calhoun

Of course they play outside, I think a big part or what is changing is parents are a little more involved in the upbringing of their children and supervise them allot more.

Not all mind you, a couple of years back I lived in a housing estate where most kids were allowed roam with little parental supervision. End result was that you has kids raising kids some out until 11 or 12 at night . Which brings with it a whole host if social problems.