Quit job to help elderly parents

Jjjjjjjbarry

Hi,

Both my parents are getting old and it's so hard to see them do downhill. I want the best for them. My mother has lost her mobility and my father is struggling to look after her. She has HSE provided carer who calls out in the mornings to help her get up and dressed but she is getting worse in recent months. I was told that if she loses her mobility she will have to go to a nursing home as my father wouldn't be able to cope and he already is struggling as he's not well himself.
The last thing I want is to see any of them go to a nursing home. I've looked up full time home care but the prices are very high.

Has anyone ever quit their job to look after their parents full time? I'm sure there must be some sort of grant for it? And possibly I could try find some sort of work from home job or something. Sorry, I know I should probably just contact citizens information but I guess I'm looking for some real person advice too. It's very upsetting to see those you love struggle and I just feel so helpless.

OMM 0000

What is your current skillset, e.g. IT, accounting, etc.?

uck51js9zml2yt

Jjjjjjjbarry wrote: »

Hi,

Both my parents are getting old and it's so hard to see them do downhill. I want the best for them. My mother has lost her mobility and my father is struggling to look after her. She has HSE provided carer who calls out in the mornings to help her get up and dressed but she is getting worse in recent months. I was told that if she loses her mobility she will have to go to a nursing home as my father wouldn't be able to cope and he already is struggling as he's not well himself.
The last thing I want is to see any of them go to a nursing home. I've looked up full time home care but the prices are very high.

Has anyone ever quit their job to look after their parents full time? I'm sure there must be some sort of grant for it? And possibly I could try find some sort of work from home job or something. Sorry, I know I should probably just contact citizens information but I guess I'm looking for some real person advice too. It's very upsetting to see those you love struggle and I just feel so helpless.

You could apply for the carers allowance.

Jjjjjjjbarry

OMM 0000 wrote: »

What is your current skillset, e.g. IT, accounting, etc.?

Supply chain planning.

Jjjjjjjbarry

Ayaan Fit Trance wrote: »

Jjjjjjjbarry wrote: »

Hi,

Both my parents are getting old and it's so hard to see them do downhill. I want the best for them. My mother has lost her mobility and my father is struggling to look after her. She has HSE provided carer who calls out in the mornings to help her get up and dressed but she is getting worse in recent months. I was told that if she loses her mobility she will have to go to a nursing home as my father wouldn't be able to cope and he already is struggling as he's not well himself.
The last thing I want is to see any of them go to a nursing home. I've looked up full time home care but the prices are very high.

Has anyone ever quit their job to look after their parents full time? I'm sure there must be some sort of grant for it? And possibly I could try find some sort of work from home job or something. Sorry, I know I should probably just contact citizens information but I guess I'm looking for some real person advice too. It's very upsetting to see those you love struggle and I just feel so helpless.

You could apply for the carers allowance.

I must call citizens info tomorrow and see what options I have.

Turnipman

Jjjjjjjbarry wrote: »

I must call citizens info tomorrow and see what options I have.

Or maybe just look up their website! It's all there.

Carer's payments overview: http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/social_welfare/social_welfare_payments/carers/payments_to_carers.html

If eligible, you'd probably start by applying for carer's benefit:

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/social_welfare/social_welfare_payments/carers/carers_benefit.html

tricky D

This very admirable but you need to think this through carefully.

From experience:

Holding down a job is really difficult. You are dependent on your parents timetable of needs so catering for regular working hours is bloody hard. I was lucky to be able to drop all new work and retain a few good clients who knew the story and worked accordingly (able to work from home). My income was decimated but thankfully had more than enough rainy day funds - most don't have such a fallback.

Carers Allowance isn't that easy to qualify for (even though you might be saving the State a small fortune) and there is plenty of jumping through hoops. You are not supposed to be working or otherwise occupied for more than 15 hours week when on Carers. I didn't bother with it after trying for a while as I would have been hammered on means testing.

There are grants and supports for equipment and you do get some bonuses on Carers (€1.7k per annum at mid year).

You will generally be on duty 24/7/365 (holidays not with standing) which takes its significant toll on your social life and relationships. It can get quite lonely. You will also get some idiots who think you are having it easy - if only they knew.

Things can get really hairy if strong drugs come into play. I had a nightmare time when pain medication meant my parent started doing really dangerous things when off the head - almost burning down the house level and some serious emotional tension if you unfairly become the target due to mental degradation (accused of elder abuse).

It is fantastic that you care and love your parents to consider doing this so I wish you the very best of luck. Feel free to PM me.

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/social_welfare/social_welfare_payments/carers/carers_allowance.html

beauf

There is pittance available to home carers.

Also there are implications for your own pension, and you might struggle to get back into work afterwards.

Do you have the funds to convert the house, and pay for the extra home care which you will need. Equipment etc. What happens if you get sick do you then have cover.

The cost of home care, or nursing homes horrific. Do your homework with regard to the fair deal scheme etc.

Also consider Nursing homes are not always the worst option. Many have lots of company for older people, activities, trips, access to trained staff. Read the HIQA reports to get an idea of what they are like. Also talk to your peers, bound to be people who have experience of local nursing homes.

https://www.rte.ie/player/ie/show/we-need-to-talk-about-dad-30004510/
http://www.thejournal.ie/we-need-to-talk-about-dad/news/
http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/social_welfare/social_welfare_payments/carers/carers_allowance.html

mrcheez

There are many work-from-home jobs out there, like Apple Support etc.

Would something along those lines be worth checking out?

beauf

You could do it short time, while you do some longer term planning.

cbreeze

OP

Your local Public Health Nurse can assess the situation and make a recommendation to the HSE in your area to increase the hours available to your parents. A maximum of 21 hours a week is available from the HSE. Your parents may need two carers attending at anyone visit depending on mobility. Plus, your local Occupational Therapy service can provide all the items required such as hospital beds, commodes, hoists and slings, air mattresses. Home care is not means tested, but they may need Medical Cards for the equipment.

I hope you don't have to give up your job for this, because this means you personally will lose out both now and in the future.

Jjjjjjjbarry

Thank you all for the advice. We are investigating getting some more home help and a bed etc. Eventually (soon enough) the hard decision will need to be made and I need to do more research on it and give it careful consideration. No matter what happens, it's a tough time and there is no easy option unfortunately.

endacl

This may sound harsh, but do remember you’ve a life to be getting on with as well. While your dedication to your parents is laudable, if you’ve to put everything on hold for years when and if it comes to the point that a nursing home might be the better option, do consider the option.

skooterblue2

mrcheez wrote: »

There are many work-from-home jobs out there, like Apple Support etc.

Would something along those lines be worth checking out?

Global Chain support? I would imagine you should be able to do that from home 4 days a week atleast? Talk to your employer about it. Get experts in to advise you. Help is out there you just need to reach out and ask.

I know people who work apple tech support. There is a massive burn out rate. They are all either burn out and or moved on by 30. I used to work in apple during both Jobs time and Cooks time. Massive difference.