Abusive younger Sister

NiceFella

I don't really know what to do with my situation. I have a younger sister(late twenties) that I feel has been horrible to me for a very long time. She has been verbally abusive and most recently physically, in which she punched me in the face for asking her to sort out alarms that she had going off a 5am multiple times. She has also blocked me on social media for a number of years over an disagreement. I also had depression for bad for a few years which she tried to say I felt sorry for myself. We've had lots of rows in the past and I'm not saying that I was without sin and right in everyone but I always was the one to extend the olive branch. But this time for my integrity is a bridge too far. The problem is she isn't this way to any of our other siblings. I also get along with my other siblings quite well. The problem is though that anytime they come home I can't seem to connect with them especially when she is there. She carries on like all is normal and I just feel uncomfortable in her presence. My dad practically always sided with her in arguments and when I told him she had been swinging digs he kind of laughed because I'm a guy and he's an old school dad that thinks that kind of stuff is ok. Basically I feel she is segregating me from my family.

Xterminator

Tell your dad, next time she assaults you you are going to call the police. Mean it when you say it, & follow through. At the moment her actions have no consequences. Change that dynamic. It is domestic abuse pure and simple.

I don't recommend you take her next slap as an opportunity to strike back, but if you are put in a self defense position, you are entitled to defend yourself, especially if it is a sustained attack.

check out AMENs website, it has advice and helplines etc.

CONTACT DETAILS:
Tel: 046 9023718

Email: Info@amen.ie

WEBSITE:
www.amen.ie

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100% agree with previous post.

If you are assaulted you call the Guards.

You probably need to move out of the family home - are you in circumstances that would allow that? Do you have a job etc?

up for anything

You both seem to be a bit old to be still living at home. It's very difficult to shed the mantle of the 'baby' or the 'highly-strung one' or the 'difficult one' or whatever label you end up within the family without moving out and making your own life separate to that of your family.

Is there any way that you can move out?

NiceFella

up for anything wrote:

You both seem to be a bit old to be still living at home. It's very difficult to shed the mantle of the 'baby' or the 'highly-strung one' or the 'difficult one' or whatever label you end up within the family without moving out and making your own life separate to that of your family.

up for anything wrote:

Is there any way that you can move out?

Well if you took a look at present monthly rents living with the parents is becoming more and more common. I would rather live away and probably could afford it but would struggle. At my age I feel it would be a mistake to do so just based on the amount you'd be throwing away and I have an opportunity to save now. I just have to try make it work.

orthsquel

The best advice is for you to look after yourself, first and foremost. I'd encourage you to get into contact with AMEN if you have not already done so. Talk to someone you know about what is happening, let someone know what is going on so that you're not feeling like you are keeping this secret or sweeping it under the carpet. Would you be comfortable talking with your siblings, even if you are not close? If you are attacked, you have every right to defend yourself and call Gardai and they will file an incident report and query if you want to make a formal statement or not.
If moving out is not an option, you can limit your interaction with your sibling. Are they living in the same house, or in a granny flat attached to the house, for example? Has your father witnessed anything that happened? The aggressor should be the one moving out, not the victim, however, if your living situation is difficult and adding stress, and leaves you vulnerable to attack or verbal, psychological or emotional abuse, it may be better for you to move out for your own protection.