Is it just his age?

holepunch

I’ve a teenage son almost 18…doesn’t want to spend time with us like on day trips out, doesn’t come home for dinner so rarely eats with us, always in his room or out with his mates. All I get is 1 or 2 word answers and can be a grumpy so and so. I find myself making silly excuses just to try and have a conversation with him. We get on great other than the usual arguments which is me nagging him to clean up after himself and tidy his room, like I said other than that we get on great. Is it him just growing up or us growing apart?

wirelessdude01

You get on great yet you complain that he doesn't talk to you? Contradictory much?

Look most teenage boys are the same, he will grow out of it.

holepunch

wirelessdude01 wrote: »

You get on great yet you complain that he doesn't talk to you? Contradictory much?

Look most teenage boys are the same, he will grow out of it.

wow....helpful much?

gizabeer

wirelessdude01 wrote: »

You get on great yet you complain that he doesn't talk to you? Contradictory much?

Look most teenage boys are the same, he will grow out of it.

great help there you miserable ****

wirelessdude01

gizabeer wrote:

great help there you miserable ****

Why thank you. You seem to have used the * quite often do some reason.

wirelessdude01

holepunch wrote:

wow....helpful much?

I did say he will grow out of it. Remember he is a teenager. We were all like that to some extent or other.

iamwhoiam

Someone once told me " Never judge how good a parent you are on a three year old or on a teenager . Wait and see what kind of adult they become and then you know if you have done a good job "

Hitman3000

OP I have 2 sons. One 27 and one 18. Great friends with my 27 year old. 18 year old can be a pain. Here's a saying I heard years ago.
"When I was 7, I thought my Dad knew everything.
When I was 14, I thought my Dad knew nothing
When I was 21, I was amazed at what he learnt in 7 years."
True for Mums aswell. He'll change. He is trying to adjust from being a kid to a young adult.

ncmc

I dunno, at 18 I would have expected him to grow out of that grumpy teenager stage a bit. One word answers are more what I would expect from a 14 year old than an 18 year old. Is there possibly more going on like substance abuse or depression? That said, I think it’s fairly normal to want to spend all your time with your mates at that age and not particularly want to go on day trips with your folks.

I have to say I question why you’re nagging him about his room. He’s an adult, not a kid. Pick your battles. By all means get him to pick up after himself in common areas of the house but I’d be inclined to leave him keep his room however he wants. I mean it’s his business if he wants to live in filth! Close the door on it unless it’s causing a health hazard to the rest of the house!

misstearheus

ncmc wrote: »

I dunno, at 18 I would have expected him to grow out of that grumpy teenager stage a bit. One word answers are more what I would expect from a 14 year old than an 18 year old. Is there possibly more going on like substance abuse or depression? That said, I think it’s fairly normal to want to spend all your time with your mates at that age and not particularly want to go on day trips with your folks.

I have to say I question why you’re nagging him about his room. He’s an adult, not a kid. Pick your battles. By all means get him to pick up after himself in common areas of the house but I’d be inclined to leave him keep his room however he wants. I mean it’s his business if he wants to live in filth! Close the door on it unless it’s causing a health hazard to the rest of the house!

Bide your time with him. Probably a large percentage of when you're going to see an 18y.o. is in the Car! Pick-ups and Drop-offs etc... Unlike with a 13/14y.o., ya know you're going to see them again in a few hours so the one-word-convos with that age mightn't matter that much at that age, but with an 18.y.o. you likely won't see them maybe for a couple of days.. Bide your time and maybe just grab a Coffee on the way and chat then... Even those rushed few minutes... Or Over-nights if he's going to a Gig/Concert, he might ask ya for help about Clothes packing the evening before... just make the most of those grabbed half-hours with him I think....

begbysback

Perfectly normal - if still in doubt then watch Kevin & Perry Go Large