Im lost on what to do

LegacyUser

For reference im going into junior cert this year, Ive been going out with this girl for 2 years now everything seemed to be great but we got into more and more arguements until late July she said she wanted us to have a break until we got back to school as we barely got to see each other over the summer holidays due to work etc. 2 days ago she was sleeping over at a friends house and her and her friends brother shifted and are now going out her friends brother works in the same lace she does and has finished leaving cert (My ex gf is going into junior cert) She keeps saying she still likes me but just wants to give the relation ship with her friends brother a shot until she gets back to school. We were both our first shift. I dont know to be honest I just feel so lost she was my best friend for over two years and she is still talking to me and really wants to still be friends atleast until we get back to school and tells me what shes going to do (Stay wioth him or go back with me). She keeps stressing that she still likes me alot and has even said that to her current bf. What do ye think is it over and should I start looking in other places or is there even the slightest chance she is still interested in me

Dial Hard

I think you're waaaaaay to young for all this drama. Forget about her and lay off relationships for a while. These are your carefree years, enjoy them.

Loveinapril

I agree with Dial Hard, this is far too dramatic for the age of you. Forget her and have fun!

Scraggs

If she's off shifting some other fella when she's meant to be in a relationship with you she's a cheater and nobody deserves that. It sounds like she has you as a backup option while she sees what happens with this guy. You should break it off with her. Life is too short to have drama llamas weighing you down.

There's still plenty of time left this summer before new term begins so try and make the most of it. Best of luck

Bazzer007

I agree with the other posters mate. Without trying to sound condescending you’re way too young to be immersed in all this drama. That girl is trouble & she’s likes the cat 🈠that got the cream with 2 fellas falling over her. Personally, I’d do a bit of shifting & drifting to give her a taste of her own medicine & tell her you’re better off as mates. She ain’t the one.

Johnnyhpipe

Wow.... Move on. By the time you’re my age you won’t even remember this. I know it seems important now, but I’m here to tell you..it’s not.

LLMMLL

Don’t think your age is important here. This problem comes up at any age.

The question is do you want to hang around and potentially be someone’s second choice?

It’s also quite likely that you’re not her second choice and she’s just trying (and failing) to be nice. If it doesn’t work out with this other guy she probably still won’t be interested.

Neyite

At this age, we start to dip our toes into adult-type relationships, and all of the theoretical stuff you think you'd know about being a grown up gets put to the test.

So. You essentially have someone who's said "I want to see where this goes, but if it doesn't work out, I want to hedge my bets and keep you as my back up." Now, you need to question how that sits with you and your view of relationships.

The teen years are all about being with people you are mad about, and some you are meh about and their feelings won't always align with yours and that's when heartbreak might occur - yours & theirs. It's all part of life and teen years and even adult years.

Her behaviour isn't sitting right with you, and that's because you feel you deserve to be treated better than that. And you'd be right. There's no need to stop being friends - you also have a choice as to whether you'd like to connect in that way with her in Sept, or maybe you'll have found someone more interesting yourself...

Don't ever wait around for someone to decide between you and another person.

joeguevara

I think neyite is right about age not being important. Being cheated on and left in limbo hurts at any age. In fact when you are younger it can feel even more raw. Allow yourself to be hurt but learn from it. She made you feel like this and don’t allow her to continue to do it.

Yes you lost a friend but think about it. Would you want to be friends with a girl or guy who betrayed you. You are mixing your friendship emotions with your love for this girl. Use this as an opportunity to widen your friend circle and don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Ultimately you will have many relationships. Hopefully you will look back on this, your first love with fondness about the good times.

Don’t allow someone who has treated you badly to control your happiness. You will get over it. It does hurt now though.

Katgurl

Ah you poor thing OP. It sounds awful.

I don't think age is relevant as you can certainly have very deep feelings in your teens as well as adulthood.

I think you could learn a really good lesson here however. When navigating relationships always pay attention to the other person's actions, not just their words. She is saying she still likes you but meanwhile is off with some other bloke. Does that seem like the behaviour of someone who is crazy about you? And you deserve a person to be crzy about you.

At the moment you're letting her have all the power; waiting for HER decision.

Finish it and wish her well.

Kidchameleon

Dump that b1tch and never look back young man.

rainbowtrout

She's only keeping you around until she sees if it works out with the other guy. And telling you about what is going on with her and the other guy is just rubbing salt in the wounds. If she's only going into junior cert she is probably still 14, turning 15, he is at least 17 and possibly 18. He's probably heading to college in september and will have forgotten her the minute he's got his college place in the next fortnight. Why be with a 14 year old when he can be with a 17-18 year old away from home? Not to mind the fact that the age gap is not really suitable given her age.

But the fact remains, she's just keeping you dangling on a hook if her luck runs out with this guy. Like the other posters said, you are too young for this drama. Set some standards for yourself in relationships, make your own decisions. Don't base your relationships on decisions other people (your ex) make. There are plenty of other girls out there.

beertons

Dude, you are reading too much into this. Yee were on a break. She obviously noticed a bit of attention coming in from this other guy, called a break with you, and is now seeing how things go with this new guy for the summer. If things don't work out with him, she wants to keep you in reserve.

Just forget about it. She's gone. It's over.

woodchuck

She's using you - waiting to see if things work with Mr Plan A, but stringing you along in case she needs Mr Plan B.

You should never let yourself be someones backup plan. Ever. You don't have wait around for her to decide who she wants to be with. Have some self respect and make the decision for yourself to move on.

Arrival

Loads of people here are telling you what to do but I'm sure you won't take their advice, even though all of us are older and have experienced all of this ourselves. She is keeping you on the back burner, stringing you along with false hopes. Do you have low self esteem or something to be thinking that this is acceptable behaviour and not instantly realise that it is YOU who should be deciding that that relationship is completely over? I'm not saying this in a condescending way but you are young and even though you really like this bitch and possibly think that she's SO special and you won't meet another girl like her, I can absolutely guarantee you that you will not only meet other girls like her but you will meet other girls who are better than her. I'm not just saying that, just think about it logically. You haven't even gone to college and started living an independent life as an adult yet, this girl is literally NOTHING to you in the grand scheme of things man. I promise you will look back at all of this ****e and either laugh at how stupid you were for trying to get back with her or feel proud that you realised that it was better to move on and begin improving yourself and finding a better girl who actually respects you