Ashamed

LegacyUser

Hi all..

Am feeling ashamed of myself. Over the past couple of months, I've gained a lot of weight. I have recently started a healthy eating plan & I know with determination and focus I can lose weight.

I live quite a distance from my family & am visiting them this week. I think they will be shocked when they see how much weight I've gained and I feel like I'm an embarrassment. I can only blame myself for gaining weight.

Arrival

Here's something that helped me stay disciplined and consistent with exercising and getting healthier. Just decide to work out and actually follow through with it one time, don't say "I'll do it tomorrow" or "I'll start next week". Just get up and do something physically demanding that tires you out. When you feel like you've finished and are tired, sit down and start writing out how you are feeling and what you're experiencing after doing this. It is so retarding, finishing a workout, and mentally and physically you feel so good and relieved because you know that you actually got up and did what you wanted, you accomplished that goal. Go into as much detail as you can in a positive note and then keep this somewhere you can easily read it again at a moment's notice. I keep mine in my phone's notes.

Now here's the thing. These positive feelings you feel after doing this for the first time will be fresh on your mind tomorrow, so recall it all mentally without reading the note. Continue trying to do it each day for as long as possible without having to read the note. When that first day comes where you're feeling too unmotivated, too lazy to workout go to your note and read it and hype yourself up to wish to experience those same positive feelings again and go do it. After just a few weeks you WILL be in the habit of working out and you will feel bad if you don't keep consistent with it.

Of course your diet is the most important aspect of losing weight and getting healthy. The two go hand in hand though, but I found it handiest to concentrate on getting a routine going with exercise first and then trying to get the diet to fall in place as time went on because you'll naturally begin to grow more conscious about what you're eating since you'll think "what's the point of me doing these workouts if my body isn't getting the right nutrients it needs?". There is SO much information to take in about diet and exercise that it is overwhelming, but do not let this put you off. Just tip away and allow this information to come to you gradually as you grow more and more interested.

Finally, I would strongly advise you to take progress pictures. Take a picture of you in your underwear in your totally natural posture and in a spot where you will be able to take the exact same photo from the same distance and with the same light consistently. Then take another photo in one month. And another the month after that. And continue taking them each month. I promise you, once you see actual physical results in these photos by flicking through them you will not want to stop.

molly09

Your family will be so thrilled to see you, they live you for you and not for your wright. I do however completely understand you feeling as I also get that feeling when meeting relatives I have not seen in ages. But think they might have changed also and remember when you come to visit them again you will be more confident with your body shape

ElizaBennett

Good advice from Arrival - best of luck with making those changes. I always feel that putting on the runners and gear motivates me. Don't think too far ahead. Just pop them on and you'll instantly feel more energetic and inclined to do a brisk walk / run / gym whatever. But diet by far more important. Try to plan your meals and don't let yourself get hungry.

Re your family I can see why you're concerned and feeling very self conscious. We've all experienced that shock at seeing someone look very different - whether heavier or lighter or more aged or ill looking or whatever. No point denying those thoughts will go through their minds. And it'll make you feel worse seeing their faces - if you really have changed as much as you think you have. If it was me I'd pre warn them tbh. For your own sake. Just something link 'you'll get a shock when you see me as I've gained a lot of weight. ' Then they'll be prepared and will probably think it's not a big deal when they actually see you as they'll have built it up to be something huge. That's what I would do as I'd hate to see a look of shock on anyone's face for those reasons and to shield myself from that discomfort I'd rather they were prepared to at least act unsurprised.
But hopefully you'll be on the road back to your slimmer healthier self soon anyway. Good luck.

orthsquel

Has it been long since you last saw your family? weight can be put on without consciously noticing it.... until one day you see it. It's possible in previous visits they may have noticed and didn't say anything. They may notice but not want to say anything in case it's a delicate issue. If you feel embarrassed or ashamed and they notice your weight, just tell them you've noticed yourself you've put on weight and let them know you're going to the gym/getting exercise/eating healthier if you feel they'd be worried or concerned, even quietly in the background between themselves wondering if they should say anything.

Eeden

You are not a bad person because you have gained weight.
Being overweight does not make you morally wrong.
Don't feel bad if others judge you for putting on weight. If they do judge you, it says more about them than it does about you.

Edgware

Is there a reason why youhave gained weight? Are you working shift work hours that stops you planning a good daily diet and you end up eating rubbish?
In any case you now realise that you have to deal with it. Just tell your family how you put on the weight but are now on a fitness programme. Im sure a lot of them have similar issues

LegacyUser

losing weight is 70% or more about diet. Anyone who is overweight can get to a healthy weight by simply making better food choices. Doing exercise on top of this helps greatly.

To help ensure success:
-Be prepared: if you're out and get hungry you will end up eating junk. Always have a healthy snack with you in case you get hungry. Make your own lunches so you know exactly what you are eating. Stop drinking fizzy drinks & fruit juices.

-Only have good food in the house: if there are no sweets in the house, there is less chance you will fall off the wagon. have healthy snacks.

-work out "for just 10 minutes": when you feel you dont want to go for a walk, go to the gym or whatever you do for exercise, tell yourself "ill go for 10 minutes and do something small". once you're there and have started, you are almost guaranteed to do a full session. This gets me through tons of workouts when Im just tired, not looking forward to the commute home and dont want to go to the gym.

-start today: starting today puts you one day closer to your goal. dont put it off.

-be nice to yourself: you will fall off the wagon, eat junk and feel terrible. This does more harm to you as you destroy your own self esteem. Be good to yourself. If you do fall off the wagon, tell yourself you slipped up, no big deal, get back on track straight away, make the next meal a healthy one and do some exercise that day.
Over a year, if you slip up once a week you have still done awesome work for 315 days of that year and that outweights any mistakes. Overall consistency is key.

s7ryf3925pivug

My physique was always the best when I neglected other aspects of my life. Always the worst when I was putting a lot of energy into my work and caring for dependents. Being ashamed of putting weight on is pretty normal but it makes no sense when you think about it.