Any advice on getting a debs date at the last minute?

FlamingMelloww

I’m bricking it. I wasn’t going to go to the debs originally, but my mum ordered this beautiful dress for me & it looks lovely on. She also booked my hair and makeup without my knowledge. She just assumes I’ll find a date. I feel like I have to go now, and part of me wants to.

Problem is, none of the lads in my year said they wanted to go with me, and I don’t know any lads outside of school I could take. I kind of need a date, as I don’t have a group of close friends to go with. My two best friends won’t go. I figure if I have a date, I’ll at least have company for the long bus ride and dinner and can probably sneak out after if I’m having a terrible time, because my year will be too drunk to notice.

I feel lost. Should I try Tinder or something? Should I message one of the popular girls in my year to see if she knows anyone who is dateless? Should I message one of the lads to see if he knows a lad outside of school that wants to go? Is it too awkward to me to randomly message a few lads in my year to see if I can go as their date? Can I ask someone I only talk to in school or do I have to be chatting to them fairly regularly?

antodeco

I never went to my Deb's as couldn't pick up the courage to ask anyone to go. Ask around. You will find someone

lawred2

I thought the lads were supposed to do the asking!

Anyway what's the point of it if hardly anyone is going?

FlamingMelloww

I have 2 tickets and a nice dress, I’m in too deep to back out now haha

splinter65

lawred2 wrote: »

I thought the lads were supposed to do the asking!

Anyway what's the point of it if hardly anyone is going?

If you’re at an all girls school and you want to go to your school debs then yes you have to ask a guy if he will go with you.

splinter65

FlamingMelloww wrote: »

I have 2 tickets and a nice dress, I’m in too deep to back out now haha

have you a cousin any kind of a cousin between about 17 and 22? Cousins are the best.

FlamingMelloww

Thank you. I’m actually in a small mixed school and I don’t want to bring my cousin

lawred2

Just pick a good looking fifth year and ask him.

That's what I did. And she was delighted to go.

seanrambo87

Mr.Frame wrote:

For starters I think the current parade route is ridiculous. It is off the beaten track,and the parade is effectively being shunted onto back streets away from the city centre. I think it is important that Pride Parade is visible, the current route fails to chive that.

FlamingMelloww wrote:

Thank you. I’m actually in a small mixed school and I don’t want to bring my cousin

I've been to 4 debs, they were all ****e, but if ya need a man, and if ur around dub, I'll set ya up with my lil bro, handsome lad but not very jock like, balls in your court,

seanrambo87

First quote is from diff chat, my fones ****e

FlamingMelloww

Thank you for offering up your brother there, but I’m a good 2 hour drive from Dublin

Nickla

splinter65 wrote: »

If you’re at an all girls school and you want to go to your school debs then yes you have to ask a guy if he will go with you.

Since when?... I went to an all girls school 20 years ago and girls went on their own or with girl friends, but lots of people like to be asked to a debs so if you would like to ask someone go for it

seanrambo87

He's actually a fine looking fella, your loss, I reckon you should take a friend, I think everyone wants to have a good time, IMO you don't want to take the fella you like

ted1

Why not ask one of your friends or classmates if their dates have any friends who’d like to go?

I went with to my friends gf friend debs. I had a girlfriend at the time but several of my friends were going out with girls in one school and my friends were with girls from different schools.

We all had a great date and I’m still good friends with the girl

Shine2018

If there are guys in your year that you are on friendly terms with, chat to them casually about it. Say you weren’t going to go initially so you’d passed on a potential date but now you are open to it. They might know someone who knows someone who’s free and age-appropriate.

Are you involved in any activities outside of school with boys around your age as well? That’s another pool of potential debs dates.

Shpud2

Where abouts are you locates OP?

FlamingMelloww

I’d rather not say exactly, but Leitrim

Shpud2

Ah right I'm no good to you on that front. Sure give Tinder a go if you are already on there I'm sure you'd find someone suitable

woodchuck

I'd start by talking to your friends and just asking around the people in your year to find out if anyone knows a guy who also needs a date or might like to go. Some guys might not like being thought of as a "last resort" so I'd make sure to explain that you were surprised with 2 tickets and that's why you're looking for someone to take.

Personally I think that's preferable to going on Tinder. I've always been a big advocate of online dating, but a young (possibly underage?) girl going online to find a debs date could attract some very unsavoury characters For your own sake, I'd just ask around and try to find a friend of a friend or relative of a friend.

FlamingMelloww

I just turned 19 last week, so I agree, my options on Tinder are fairly limited. I’ve set it to 18-20 yr olds, so I doubt I’ll have too many options, but who knows?

molly09

these questions just popped into my mind when I your OP and only you know the answer
do you want to go to your debs?

if you don’t go do you think it’s something you will regret?

Do you think you would disappoint your mother nitchoibg as she went to so much trouble with dress, hair etc?

Are all the girls in your year definitely bringing s partner? (They certainly didn’t in my year?


When is your debs? Do you normally go out pubs/clubs at the weekend? This may not be your thing and if it isn’t that is absolutely fine. If you are going out this weekend would you meet a guy from other local schools who would go to your debt and you could return the offer

You have been through a really stressful exam year , results coming up is probably adding to your stress and deciding what’s next .

FlamingMelloww

In truth, no don’t really want to go. Except for my two best friends, I’m not in touch with people from my year bar the odd comment under a photo or retweet. I rarely go out as my friends aren’t into it. I feel I should give it 2 more weeks & if I’m unsuccessful I’ll decide not to go.

I feel I may as well just go, seeing as the money for it has all been spent already. If it’s totally awful, it’s only 3 or 4 hours in the grand scheme of things, and I’m not going to be interacting with these people again for the most part.

Oh, but I do hate the societal pressure to go to this. It’s so stupid and everyone thinks you’re weird or somethings “wrong” with you if you don’t. It’s a stressful enough time in your life without this added pressure.

Thank you

molly09

FlamingMelloww wrote: »

In truth, no don’t really want to go. Except for my two best friends, I’m not in touch with people from my year bar the odd comment under a photo or retweet. I rarely go out as my friends aren’t into it. I feel I should give it 2 more weeks & if I’m unsuccessful I’ll decide not to go.

I feel I may as well just go, seeing as the money for it has all been spent already. If it’s totally awful, it’s only 3 or 4 hours in the grand scheme of things, and I’m not going to be interacting with these people again for the most part.

Oh, but I do hate the societal pressure to go to this. It’s so stupid and everyone thinks you’re weird or somethings “wrong” with you if you don’t. It’s a stressful enough time in your life without this added pressure.

Thank you

It is a very stressful time for you, remember in s few weeks when people are moving to different colleges and jobs , it won’t be discussed who was at the debs or not.
Try and weight up which is the heady stressful going to the debs or making nitcfeelibg greatvtgatvdsy and taking a rain cheque.....
The year after your LC can be the mistcexcitubg time if your life where you will meet such a wide variety of people both make and female.

Congratulate yourself of getting thru the LC and look forward to the next few years.

Rikand

I went to my debs by myself and had the best time. Far better than some of the couples who went and argued the whole way through it.

Don't be afraid to go it alone. In fact some might think you're a bit of a legend for not conforming to societal pressure.

kylith

You said your friends weren't planning on going, but would one of them not go with you since you have a ticket and all?

Dial Hard

You said none of the guys in your year said they wanted to go with you but did you actually ask any of them or do you mean that they didn't ask you?

FlamingMelloww

No, both have refused to go. Neither are willing to fork out the money for a dress, shoes etc. & I get it, it’s very expensive. As for the lads in my year, I meant none of them have said they wanted to go with me.

TheBlock

FlamingMelloww wrote: »

No, both have refused to go. Neither are willing to fork out the money for a dress, shoes etc. & I get it, it’s very expensive. As for the lads in my year, I meant none of them have said they wanted to go with me.

Did you ask them?

Vlove

Hi op, sure I didn't go to my debs since I had no one to go with and I didn't click with the girls in my class either. I mean you honestly don't need to go if you don't want to and sure you can even save that dress for the next debs you're invited to or even a wedding!

Milly33

Your friends don't really sound like they are being that nice, I was just going to say would one of them not go with you, but I see they said no already.. They don't have to spend a fortune on a dress just something nice... Or the other option if you don't want to ask any of the lads in your year just go by yourself, nothing wrong with it... I remember for my own that I had a friend and we both said at the time if we weren't seeing anyone or had a date to the debs we would take eachother.. Worked out perfect, I hope you do find a solution and you get to go and enjoy yourself