Struggling with life

LegacyUser

I’m sure you’re all sick of seeing these kind of treads, I’m just looking to get it out and get an objective opinion on my whole situation. I’m 28 and very unhappy with my life and how everything has turned out. I’ve suffered with depression and anxiety for a long time probably dating back to my early teens and it only got worse as I got into my 20’s. About 5 years ago I had a major break down and I was forced to go to the doctor where I was put on antidepressants which I’ve been on ever since. This was around the time I was finishing college, I actually dropped out of my final year as things had got so bad, I manage to scrape an ordinary degree out of it tho which is something. Between college and now I’ve really struggle to get any gainfully employment, my work experience is disgraceful. I’ve in a few retail jobs short term, been fired from a few of them, I’ve done a couple of internships and a good bit of free work, I’m in quite a creative field and the interview process for a lot of jobs is quite intensive and they really tear apart your past work and experience on occasions. I’ve been on and off social welfare and living at home continuously during this period. Around this time last year I finally got a break and got a job with a big company, it was only entry level but I was delighted and it started off really well, but this past March I got let go which was devastating, I had worked so hard to get this job, it had allowed me to start a new life essentially and it was all torn out from under me, my confidence is gone completely. I was told it was nothing to do with me they just scaling back, they gave me a glowing reference and sent me on my way. After this I had to move home while I looked for something else. Since March I’ve been at home on the dole slipping deeper and deeper in to a deep depression. I’ve been to a good few interviews in the time and they all went badly, my confidence is gone completely. I’ve been getting a lot of snide comments about my work and my experience and even I had some recruiter from Dublin tell me there’s no excuse for so someone my age having so many gaps in my CV.
I try to keep myself busy by going to the gym and working on personal projects but I’ve found myself becoming very lonely and isolated. all my friends are either emigrated, busy with work and relationships and I’m just completely left behind. I feel like I have nothing to look forward to and no future. Before I lost the job I had really made progress with my mental health, I generally very introverted and I find social situations difficult but I was surprised at my self how much I had improved, going on dates, meeting new people slowly stepping out of my comfort zone, but now I'm back to square one and I can’t face anything and feeling like a complete failure and useless, It's getting increasingly difficult to not compare myself to other people. I've been trying mediation and I'm considering going back to counseling but money is a bit tight atm, I've even been throwing around the idea of traveling to just get away for a while but the idea of going solo terrifys me. I just really don't know what to do with myself

Red Lightning

Struggling90 wrote: »

I’m sure you’re all sick of seeing these kind of treads, I’m just looking to get it out and get an objective opinion on my whole situation. I’m 28 and very unhappy with my life and how everything has turned out. I’ve suffered with depression and anxiety for a long time probably dating back to my early teens and it only got worse as I got into my 20’s. About 5 years ago I had a major break down and I was forced to go to the doctor where I was put on antidepressants which I’ve been on ever since. This was around the time I was finishing college, I actually dropped out of my final year as things had got so bad, I manage to scrape an ordinary degree out of it tho which is something. Between college and now I’ve really struggle to get any gainfully employment, my work experience is disgraceful. I’ve in a few retail jobs short term, been fired from a few of them, I’ve done a couple of internships and a good bit of free work, I’m in quite a creative field and the interview process for a lot of jobs is quite intensive and they really tear apart your past work and experience on occasions. I’ve been on and off social welfare and living at home continuously during this period. Around this time last year I finally got a break and got a job with a big company, it was only entry level but I was delighted and it started off really well, but this past March I got let go which was devastating, I had worked so hard to get this job, it had allowed me to start a new life essentially and it was all torn out from under me, my confidence is gone completely. I was told it was nothing to do with me they just scaling back, they gave me a glowing reference and sent me on my way. After this I had to move home while I looked for something else. Since March I’ve been at home on the dole slipping deeper and deeper in to a deep depression. I’ve been to a good few interviews in the time and they all went badly, my confidence is gone completely. I’ve been getting a lot of snide comments about my work and my experience and even I had some recruiter from Dublin tell me there’s no excuse for so someone my age having so many gaps in my CV.
I try to keep myself busy by going to the gym and working on personal projects but I’ve found myself becoming very lonely and isolated. all my friends are either emigrated, busy with work and relationships and I’m just completely left behind. I feel like I have nothing to look forward to and no future. Before I lost the job I had really made progress with my mental health, I generally very introverted and I find social situations difficult but I was surprised at my self how much I had improved, going on dates, meeting new people slowly stepping out of my comfort zone, but now I'm back to square one and I can’t face anything and feeling like a complete failure and useless, It's getting increasingly difficult to not compare myself to other people. I've been trying mediation and I'm considering going back to counseling but money is a bit tight atm, I've even been throwing around the idea of traveling to just get away for a while but the idea of going solo terrifys me. I just really don't know what to do with myself

First off, you are definitely not the only person your age feeling the way you are. Feeling lost is normal at that age for many and it is made worse because of the depression.
I would start with being kinder to yourself, you got a degree while battling a crippling mental illness which is pretty badass.
It is important that you push yourself to meet new people and do things that make you happy. Gary Vaynerchuk is a great guy to listen to. He's a entrepreneur and says that he only figured out what he wanted to do when he was 43 and now he loves his life. Basically, at 28, you are still super young and you can do anything you want in your life. Join meet up groups, take up a new sport, download tinder and go on some dates and shift the face of a few ladies/fellas lol
You should also look up Aware's free meet up support groups. They may have a group close to you and they could help you as well with the struggles you are having. Or possibly even get an appointment with an Occupational Therapist.
Give yourself a break and push yourself to do something new or something that scares you regularly.
All the best, I have a feeling you're gonna get on really well with your life.

NiceFella

Hey, sorry to hear your feeling ****ty about things in your life. As another poster has said, take it easy on yourself. Being negative towards yourself is only going to compound any issues you may have, and by my estimate it may be your main problem in all due respect. As you have inferred that you feel self conscious of not holding onto a job but yet you still got interviews right? So obviously the interviewers ain't reading your CV the way you are. But if you go into an interview with self doubt, it's you that's killing your chances. Fair enough if your not qualified for the job but you obviously are if your getting calls. So I think your being way too hard on yourself. A good friend of mine was in a way worse position than yourself. He was unemployed for 6 years straight, basically because he was depressed and unmotivated to work. He got an Xmas job and worked hard and he's now an assistant manager now. That's not a joke. Now it's not all fairy tales either. There are set backs like when you didn't get kept on. But **** it live and learn and walk on to the next thing. Don't take offense, don't beat yourself up, because most likely the stuff your thinking is flat out wrong cycled negativity. Make a choice every day to be positive. Start with gratitude and work from there. And yes go do Dublin meet up to go to events and get a social thing going. Do counseling too if ye can afford it, maybe even once a month. Meditation is great by the way. Jon kabat jinn is a fav of mine. Best of luck.