Struggling Through Life

LegacyUser

So as the title mentions I'm struggling badly through my life at the moment. I really don't know where to turn. I'm working for a large multi-international company in the financial services sector on a contract role. Although I worked really hard, they didn't extend my contract. This is a similar situation to several people in my department who also got let go. So I am now facing unemployment soon and I don't have much savings to fall back on. I renting an apartment that I really like but without continuous income I will struggle to pay rent. I went for some interviews to try get back into employment but all were unsuccessful. This completely devastated me.

On top of this I am studying a part-time masters course. I am coming toward the end of the course but arrived into some issues with my dissertation and as a result I am unsure if I can finish it before the proposed deadline. I am also finding it difficult to concentrate due to the amount of stress and with everything that's going on. I am way behind on my course and also trying to job hunt at the same time. I have completely lost any desire for the course and just want to finish it at this stage.

To make matters worse, I broke up with my girlfriend late last year. I tried getting out to meet new people but I feel like I have lost a lot of my confidence and personality. Once I get a girl on a date she has no desire to go on a second date. I don't have many friends either. All my childhood friends have moved onto serious relationships and are now married with kids. We rarely meet up. I also feel ashamed when I meet them. I'm just so far behind in life. They all have good jobs, money, houses, wife, kids and I have nothing. I used to be the most social person you could meet but now I feel that people drift away from me and do not want to know me. I don't know what's wrong with my personality and have lost all my confidence.

So right now I'm facing unemployment, little savings to get by, no girlfriend and failing my masters course. I feel like a social outcast. I also don't have time to join clubs to meet new people. So I am just asking for some advice.

NiceFella

Have you a place to go like a family home to get yourself in order? It's seems to me that you have been trying to force the situation abit too much and need to reset yourself. Don't be shaming yourself, you sound like a decent hard working chap but with too many negative distractions at the moment. Don't be hard on yourself, alot of it is out of your control. I'd say defer the masters for a year given the stuff you need to sort. You'll get a job sure enough to get you saving and then you can get your head right.

john343

Go see the department and speak about your current issues and maybe put the masters on the backburner for a bit. Don't be hard on yourself and don't worry about not getting employment, just keep applying for roles...take anything to keep afloat if you want to stay in the apartment...

Sure life can get you down but keep grinding away and f*ck the world, grab life by the horns and do what you want. Don't compare yourself to anybody else thinking you have to live to certain standards etc because believe me lots and lots of people don't have it all figured out myself included in my 30's. I think society today's biggest problem is social media etc and most of it is fake ****e...

Chill out, maybe give up the apartment and just take off travelling for a bit and clear the head...

loalae

Speak to someone in the university about the difficulties you're having at the moment and ask about your options for flexibility. It's much better to do it now rather than waiting for it to go wrong. You'll be surprised at how reasonable they can be as they want their students to succeed.

If you have family who can support you at this time, let them! Ask for a bit of help while you're looking for a new job. Then apply for new jobs while the masters on on the back burner. You may find that without the pressure of college work you'll have more time and energy to put into applying for roles.

Take a break from dating at the moment. It's so easy to fall into a negative mentality while dating and people pick up on it. There is no rush to get into a relationship. You're more likely to meet the right person for you when you're feeling better about yourself.

It doesn't sound to me like you're a social outcast - you have friends but they're at a different life stage to you. There's no shame in that. Please be kind to yourself!

Daisy78

Taken together your issues can seem overwhelming and trying to deal with them all at once is the road to madness. Your immediate concern should be your accommodation situation. Can you move back in with family or friends for a while until you finish your masters? It might be a bit inconvenient for a while but it's a stop gap until you get back on your feet. Regarding the masters I'd put all my energy and focus on finishing that out. Having that extra qualification on your CV will give you more of an edge when it comes to interviews, even if it's not 100 per cent related to the job you are going for. Don't worry about your contract not being extended, lots of people have to endure short term work contracts before something more permanent and suitable comes along. Don't let it knock your confidence.

As for dating, that can be hard enough at the best of times but if you have a lot of other stuff going on like you do then it's best to give it a break for a while until you are in a better place. Focus on sorting out the other stuff first and then maybe a couple of months down the line you might be in a happier place to go about meeting someone.