Christmas wedding- thoughts?

Minnie_mol

Hi all,

Recently engaged and looking at possible wedding venues. my fiancee and I are from different counties so we're trying to find suitable venues that would suit both sets of family/friends. We found a venue we love but unfortunately there are very few dates available over the next 18 months.

We were given a date that is available- the 27th December. As much as I really love the idea of a Christmas wedding and the thoughts of all the decorations and the Christmas atmosphere, I'm concerned that it would put a lot of financial pressure on our families and friends.

What have other people's experiences/ thoughts on Christmas weddings been?

woodchuck

To be frank, I consider myself fortunate enough never to have been invited to a Christmas wedding. December is an extremely busy and expensive month, without the added pressure of attending a wedding. I like to just relax as much as possible the week between Christmas and new years, because it's such a mad month.

I do see the advantage of Christmas weddings though for situations where a lot of family/friends have emigrated. If they're already planning to come home for Christmas, the timing can make sense. That doesn't sound like the case here though?

Sorry if my post is a downer, but I just wanted to give an honest opinion from a guests point of view.

Mandser

I would also be of a similar sentiment.  Thats just after St Stephens Day where most people have been eating and drinking a lot over the previous 2 days, it would be before payday for a lot of people who get paid at the end of each month so another day or two might be the straw that breaks the camels back.  Plus for the bride and groom, the two days before are closed for business, you might need something last minute and all shops closed, weather could be bad meaning delayed deliveries to hotels etc.  might not be worth the stress on yourselves and the expense on your guests. Having been to a Christmas wedding previously, I dont think I would be accepting another unless very close friends or family

GingerLily

I LOVE new years weddings - but the 27th is too near Christmas, your would be taking Stephens day from your guests which is very important for some people, there's some family I only see at Stephen's day!

Loveinapril

woodchuck wrote: »

Particularly as you and your fiancé are both from different countries.

They are from different counties, not countries.

OP, I have been to an early January wedding and thought it broke up the long christmas break nicely. Although I would personally hate the idea of my wedding being dominated by christmas decorations so you would have that to consider too.

I would not be a fan. New Year’s Eve is the only December date i would enjoy unless you have it over a week before Christmas Day.

woodchuck

Loveinapril wrote: »

They are from different counties, not countries.

Sorry, read that wrong! Post edited now.

I'd still hate to receive a Christmas wedding invitation in the post though, even if it was only down the road.

the_syco

You'll be re-gifted all the sh|te presents that no-one wants, as everyone will be too broke.

Also, due to family visits, some people will not turn up.

IMO, it's a bad idea, as people are;
Broke.
Visiting families.
Busy as hell.
If neighbour/friend comes back from abroad, your wedding may not be as important. Also, as they're broke, they may just send you the money after the next paycheck.

SheepGoHere

Haaaaate Christmas weddings. Hate them. We're all too busy and broke already, why do this. Why.

Addle

I've changed my mind about Christmas weddings after attending a couple.
I think they're a great way to break up that bit of a lull between xmas and new year.
They save a lot of visiting.
Venues are very atmospheric and extra romantic.
Hot drinks reception.
I love a Christmas wedding.

MissElle

I’ve attended a couple right near Christmas and I’m just not a fan. I work in a hospital so had the stress of trying to get the days off for it (Christmas off duty nightmare!) plus trying to budget accordingly and get everything else organised. A New Years wedding I’d definitely prefer!

Keco

Getting married on the 20th December. Most people have been really positive that it will be a great start to the Christmas season. The way I see it is if people want to be there for you they will. I expect to lose some to the time of year and integer commitments but I love Christmas so think it will be lovely. Fingers crossed anyway!!

_Brian

Of your having a Christmas wedding you need to invite all kids of parents attending.
Otherwise your separating parents and young kids over the Christmas holidays which is a bit pants

We’ve been invited to two Christmas weddings and turned both down on that basis. One was actually New Year’s Eve and I wouldn’t leave my kids for it.

Keco

Keco wrote: »

Getting married on the 20th December. Most people have been really positive that it will be a great start to the Christmas season. The way I see it is if people want to be there for you they will. I expect to lose some to the time of year and integer commitments but I love Christmas so think it will be lovely. Fingers crossed anyway!!

That is a lovely date as it’s not after Christmas Day and all the eating that goes with that day and Stephens Day.

Jennehy

Had a wedding last New Year’s Eve, very inconsiderate if you ask me to expect anyone to attend as I did.
Weddings are a sentence not to mind giving up New Year’s Eve, New Year’s Day after party and their going away party the day after.

GingerLily

Jennehy wrote: »

Had a wedding last New Year’s Eve, very inconsiderate if you ask me to expect anyone to attend as I did.
Weddings are a sentence not to mind giving up New Year’s Eve, New Year’s Day after party and their going away party the day after.

Haha, I LOVE new years weddings, I guess everyone's different

Alanhooly

I'm getting married December 15th this year. Do people still view this as a bad time to have a wedding or is there just enough breathing space?

Absolutely everyone I've spoke to about it seems to be genuinely excited and no one seems to be too concerned about the date.

(Not that they would tell me if they did)

I think you should have it whatever date suits you OP, its your day.

Jennehy

GingerLily wrote: »

Haha, I LOVE new years weddings, I guess everyone's different

I think you will find yourself in a minority.

GingerLily

Jennehy wrote: »

I think you will find yourself in a minority.

I'm in the minority of liking weddings too I guess!

GingerLily

Alanhooly wrote: »

I'm getting married December 15th this year. Do people still view this as a bad time to have a wedding or is there just enough breathing space?

Absolutely everyone I've spoke to about it seems to be genuinely excited and no one seems to be too concerned about the date.

(Not that they would tell me if they did)

I think you should have it whatever date suits you OP, its your day.

I think the 27th is a bad date, even the 28th would be maybe okay! Before Christmas isn't as much an issue but don't expect most guests to be around for a second day, busy time of year.

Purple Mountain

Hi OP.

I've not been to an Xmas wedding but I can tell you if I got a Dec 27 invite, I'd bawk.
A lot of people love to go out Stephen's night. I can think of so many people for who it's their main night out all year and to meet up with family and friends. There's traditions on Stephen's night that people hate to break and if they've a wedding the next day, that's a big spanner in works.
Also..beauticians and hairdressers: are they going to be open?
Then on the other side..people who don't get the 27th off work..since that's a Thursday, they would need to take the 28th off too. Thursday weddings are pants in my opinion. Unless you are a tee total guest who's home by midnight.
And like so many have said: money is key. After presents and the massive extra cost of dinners and drink, very few have extra room financially for a wedding expense.
And finally, you will lose people who are expecting family home over the season.
If my sister/son etc was due home for a week from another country, I wouldn't be making plans to go and spend 2 days away from them when time is limited.
Sorry for brutal honesty.

Addle

Jennehy wrote: »

Had a wedding last New Year’s Eve, very inconsiderate if you ask me to expect anyone to attend as I did.
Weddings are a sentence not to mind giving up New Year’s Eve, New Year’s Day after party and their going away party the day after.

What age are you?

I've found New Years eve to be a ****e night ever since I was 21.
That's why I think ringing in the new year at a wedding is a great idea.
So much so that friends and I have taken to going to balls for New Years.

The st Stephens day booze up is not for me anymore either. And people can still go out the night before a wedding. Maybe they won't drink as much, so what.

I'd much prefer a Christmas wedding to a spring or summer bank holiday weekend wedding.
I'd prefer a mid Christmas wedding to a pre Christmas. That will clash with work Christmas parties.

Not everyone works Monday to Friday, 9-5, so there'll always be people who have to work a wedding around annual leave.

People who spend a lot going to weddings will do so whatever the time of year.

And you'll never, ever please everyone.

Addle

Whatever the date, have alpacas.
They'll make everyone happy...
https://www.thevow.ie/getting-started/trends/heads-up-the-alpaca-wedding-trend-has-hit-ireland-and-could-be-coming-to-a-nuptials-near-you-37122933.html

S.M.B.

Alanhooly wrote: »

I'm getting married December 15th this year. Do people still view this as a bad time to have a wedding or is there just enough breathing space?

Absolutely everyone I've spoke to about it seems to be genuinely excited and no one seems to be too concerned about the date.

(Not that they would tell me if they did)

I think you should have it whatever date suits you OP, its your day.

I'm one week earlier on the 8th. Recognise that a lot of people will be not staying around the following day which means we are not organising anything formal.

If people can't make it for financial reasons or those overseas can't come back on the 8th and for Christmas then I hope they just decide not to come as opposed to begrudgingly come and not be happy about it. Perfectly understandable that it's not the ideal time of year but it's impossible to pick a date that's perfect for everyone.

splinter65

October mid term break is the best off season time for a wedding as far as I’m concerned.
I wouldn’t be going to a Christmas/New Year wedding, might go to the afters ok but I can’t imagine anything worse on St Stephens Day then having to get ready for a wedding.

Moody_mona

splinter65 wrote: »

October mid term break is the best off season time for a wedding as far as I’m concerned.
I wouldn’t be going to a Christmas/New Year wedding, might go to the afters ok but I can’t imagine anything worse on St Stephens Day then having to get ready for a wedding.

Funny that, we've had a number of declines because the midterm is a popular time for families to get away.
I could do without a wedding on the 27th of December but 28th - 31st it becomes a nice way to distract from cabin fever.

new years eve is the best time for a wedding, especially if its family/close friends.

Its a rubbish night out anyway, so having a party with your nearest friends & family there is great.

JustAThought

Christmas: Understaffed in hotels, hugely inflated room rates, wrong end of the worst month for money, impossible to draw down family favours for babysitters, kids all wired on junk , toys and chocolates. If youre female.it will.be impossible to get a hair or nails/tan appointment - busses and trains on wierrd or Sunday services and roads icy and trecherous conditions -not to mention maximum risk of checkpoints the day after. Not to.mention having a photo with a christmas tree up on the wall 24/7 all year round.
A fairly good set of reasons not to do it to your family. Unless they are all emigrated and will happen to be home that year/time. And for friends and family finding an extra 4/500 at Christmas for wedding/drinks/hotel/present will be the biggest reason people you like and want there will be rsvp'ing no. Its just too much.

baby and crumble

JustAThought wrote: »

Not to.mention having a photo with a christmas tree up on the wall 24/7 all year round.

TBH This is one of the reasons we went for a christmas-time wedding - ours was at the end of November though. We LOVE Christmas and in all honesty a big draw and cost saving measure was the fact we knew the hotel would be decorated for Christmas- so we didn't have to do much to make it look good. Lots of fairy lights and sparkly backdrops for photos there already. :cool:

TBH, I'd love to be in vited to more weddings, unfortunately all my friends seems to be somewhat committment phobes :pac: ... I would adore an invite to a Christmas wedding in particular, because for me it's a time of year I love, and becuase my family are all over the place I don't have as many committments as others. We also don't have kids so babysitting isn't an issue for us. For our wedding, only about 5 couples out of our entire guestlist had kids to organise, so it does depend on the specifics of family and friend groups.

august12

Addle wrote:

I've changed my mind about Christmas weddings after attending a couple. I think they're a great way to break up that bit of a lull between xmas and new year. They save a lot of visiting. Venues are very atmospheric and extra romantic. Hot drinks reception. I love a Christmas wedding.

I agree here, was at a wedding on 30th Dec. about three years ago, was one of the most enjoyable weddings I was at, loved the Christmas atmosphere in the hotel, all the decorations added to it I thought, also was at one Christmas week, about the 22nd December, that was good too and will be at one second week of next December.

lazygal

Wouldn't go to a wedding on 27 December. Too difficult to organise child care and I like lazing after the excitement of Christmas day. We attended a Christmas wedding last year and swore never again.

Minnie_mol

thanks everyone for all your responses! i knew that asking close friends and family they'd most likely find it difficult to tell us if they thought it to be a bad time. so I really appreciate the honest feedback. We've since decided not to have it at this date as we feel it is too close to christmas and have been looking in to other possible venues and dates. happy planning to all of you who are getting married in the near future!

thank you for all your advice 😊

c6ysaphjvqw41k

This post has been deleted.

Idle Passerby

I wish those people who are so enraged at the sight of a wedding invitation would do everyone a favour and just not go. No one wants your sour face there anyway!

baby and crumble

Reece Cold Thanksgiving wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

She sounds like a dose.

Sammy2012

Wow I can't believe the comments about Christmas weddings. I've been to 13 weddings since May 17. My friend got married on the 22nd of Dec just gone and we had a great time. Was a great way to start the Christmas hols. Granted Christmas is an already expensive time but a wedding is expensive at any time of the year. And it's not like you get no notice about it.

You are supposed to go to a wedding to celebrate with the bride and groom. If you want to do that just don't go. Thankfully I'm married a while now and yes I'm not a big fan of weddings (just sick of them now) but all of them I've attended were good fun. I'd rather attend one wedding at Christmas then 6 in the space of 2 months.

_Brian

_Brian wrote: »

Of your having a Christmas wedding you need to invite all kids of parents attending.
Otherwise your separating parents and young kids over the Christmas holidays which is a bit pants

We’ve been invited to two Christmas weddings and turned both down on that basis. One was actually New Year’s Eve and I wouldn’t leave my kids for it.

I'm sure the kids will survive a day and a half or so without their parents, parents often head off to stuff over Christmas for example I know my friends with young kids still head out with the rest of us on the beer all day Stephen's day. Some parents really are a pain when it comes to their kids and weddings though in fairness you stayed at home from the wedding rather than just decide to bring along uninvited kids to a wedding they are not wanted at.

Personally I've been at a lot of weddings over the last 3 years but none were around christmas, I think it would be good craic though once it was a few days before christmas or the 27th or later, I like the idea of a new years wedding would be a bit of craic for new years.

Electric Sheep

Idle Passerby wrote: »

I wish those people who are so enraged at the sight of a wedding invitation would do everyone a favour and just not go. No one wants your sour face there anyway!

Why then did they receive an invitation?

Addle

Electric Sheep wrote: »

Why then did they receive an invitation?

Sour face only appears in receipt of invite.

Col_30

Hi all, myself and my partner are getting married in early Dec. I just have a question regarding menus.

What do you think would be a good menu choice for early Dec?

My partner wants beef/turkey & ham. I was thinking more along the lines of beef and a fish choice. What are people's thoughts? Does it really matter? Thanks!

Sammy2012

I would steer away from from Turkey and ham at Christmas but that's just me. Also would think a meat and fish choice is best. I almost never order the meat at a wedding and would usually go for the fish.

GingerLily

Sammy2012 wrote: »

I would steer away from from Turkey and ham at Christmas but that's just me. Also would think a meat and fish choice is best. I almost never order the meat at a wedding and would usually go for the fish.

100% agree - meat and fish! We had Lamb and Hake with a silent veggie option - people loved the food!

I really don't like turkey and ham, unless you are having a full Christmas menu - then avoid!

Col_30

GingerLily wrote: »

100% agree - meat and fish! We had Lamb and Hake with a silent veggie option - people loved the food!

I really don't like turkey and ham, unless you are having a full Christmas menu - then avoid!

Thanks for the opinions, I really feel the same way! It's the only thing we can't agree on so far.

I think a lot of people order the fish as it's seen as a lighter options and you won't feel like curling up on a sofa for a snooze after it. I know many male guests will probably order the beef, so having that as an option will keep many happy.

I saw turkey & ham at a few weddings and thought it looked like a mean option or something. It's actually the same price on out package. I do like it, but just not for my wedding.

Idle Passerby

Electric Sheep wrote: »

Why then did they receive an invitation?

More than likely the bride/groom were guilted into it by their parents.

rainbowtrout

Col_30 wrote: »

I saw turkey & ham at a few weddings and thought it looked like a mean option or something. It's actually the same price on out package. I do like it, but just not for my wedding.

I don't think it's a mean option, it's just that it's a traditional Christmas dinner that people will be having again in two weeks time, and possibly more if they end up going on a staff night out or similar where it is served. Meat and fish is probably the better option.

heretothere

I'd say we will go with Turkey and Ham, but we have an October wedding. I know that any event I go to around Christmas I would never order Turkey and Ham if it was on the menu.

OP I'd look at October, it's not a busy time of year for weddings and bar a few most suppliers I have contacted had our date free.

S.M.B.

I am doing December this year and was tempted to go with Turkey & Ham to make it more seasonal. We decided against and will be going with Beef and a Fish option.

A few mince pies and some mulled wine will be the only seasonal food we will be having.

lazygal

Turkey and ham is never done well for a crowd, its always those pre prepared slices of the two meats with the stuffing in between and some gravy to try to keep it moist. Yuck.
I'd go with a meat (beef if that's what you're thinking) and fish.

Electric Sheep

Idle Passerby wrote: »

More than likely the bride/groom were guilted into it by their parents.

Surely shaking off the familiar apron strings should be a prerequisite of being considered old enough to marry?

GingerLily

Electric Sheep wrote: »

Surely shaking off the familiar apron strings should be a prerequisite of being considered old enough to marry?

Your determined to find fault in the B&G!!