Advice for terrified first time expectant mum!!!

kellymac28

Hey everyone,

Yesterday my doctor confirmed that I am pregnant (woo hoo - its my first pregnancy), I am 4 weeks gone (due in March) - but my doc went on the tell me about miscarriage during first trimester and how common it is, and it's making me very nervous... I am 28 years old, am a healthy weight and eat really well... but apparently sometimes that doesn't matter

Now I am freaked out. My mother in law then told me she had a miscarriage at 10 weeks - my own mother never had one...

The next month or so is going to be torture... I am so afraid something will go wrong..i know there is not much i can do but has anyone else been freaked like this? How did you keep yourself calm? Every time I get a little cramp I worry that its my period and that i will go to the bathroom and find blood.

Thanks

Kelly

Cash_Q

Delighted to see you've had your pregnancy confirmed as I've seen your other posts.

It's totally normal to be anxious about it, but it is out of your control so try not to worry too much. Enjoy this secret time between you and your partner before you share the news.

You could book an early pregnancy scan for when you're 8 weeks pregnant at a private clinic to give you some peace of mind. You won't see much but it'll keep you going until your 12week scan with the hospital.

Cramps are normal as your womb stretches and moves. Digestion can also be a factor with cramps. If you do notice any spotting or a small bleed, don't panic as it could be implantation bleeding.

Best of luck, hopefully you'll start to relax soon!

wildwillow

First , congratulations.
I would love to guarantee you a carefree pregnancy. Miscarriage happens and that is a fact. You are young and healthy so you have done all you can. 12 weeks is a kind of magic date to achieve and lot of miscarriages happen before this. But not all, as late miscarriages can happen.

Relax and enjoy the pregnancy. Try not to over think everything. Be positive and hope for the best. Eat well, sleep well and continue to exercise. Be happy. If it happens it happens. You are already emotionally attached to this potential baby and nothing will change that. Welcome to a parent's mindset and know that you will worry about any child you have for the rest of your life.

I never had a miscarriage but my son died from cancer at age six. What I'm trying to say is that nothing about parenthood is certain and you have to develop a strategy of accepting what you can't change and doing everything you can to protect your children.

There are loads of threads here which will give you advice about early scans and so on which can be reassuring.

I wish you and the father the very best. He is probably just as nervous.

shesty

It just is what it is I'm afraid.No reason to think you will miscarry, but equally, you have no control over this.Most people assume pregnancy is a happy carefree journey until they actually get pregnant and discover it's somewhat terrifying!!!The only piece of advice I will give you is that if you have any bleeding no matter how small, take yourself to the emergency dept of your maternity hospital.It does happen a lot-I have had it on all three....turned out to be nothing but I wanted to be checked anyway, and GP can tell you very little.There's no point torturing yourself by waiting it out to see what happens, just go in and get checked.

Otherwise I hope you have a happy and healthy pregnancy!

mirrorwall14

Five pregnancies between me and my sister, 9 if you count mum too and there’s only been one miscarriage between us.

Unfortunately there’s nothing you can do about it. That doesn’t help in the moment. The first few months of this pregnancy were utter torture after last year but you have to try and park the worry. And I spotted brown/red for three weeks of the first trimester

I highly recommend some mindfulness or meditation apps. Trying to live in the now is super important. I also found setting mini goals in my head helped. So like i’ll just make it to this Saturday or that event or that deadline. All of a sudden it was the 23rd week and it felt like time flew looking back (even though it seemed to crawl at the time)

Congratulations.

Miscarriage is a fact of life. So is the fact that the vast majority of women who miscarry go on to have a successful pregnancy or pregnancies. Try to relax and enjoy this exciting stage of your life.

Bear18

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

Try to not stress yourself it won't do you any good. For reassurance would you book yourself an early scan, perhaps at 8 weeks?

Things can go wrong but there is nothing that can stop it but stressing yourself thinking something will happen will only make your pregnancy longer and tougher on yourself.

A happy healthy 9 months to you.