Oldest age girl to date - men aged 30

LegacyUser

Hi guys, want to go unreg for this.

Question for guys aged around 30 - what is the oldest age girl you would date? Or have you ever dated someone older & it's worked out?

I'm almost 38. Met a guy (30) a few months ago through work (live in different counties). Met him twice at work functions and spent the nights together. Really enjoy his company & I think there's chemistry, but I'm afraid to say anything if we meet again. Likely in next few weeks.

Am I crazy to think guys go for older girls?

Nah it happens. Probably not as much as the other way but still. I'm hitting 30 and would have no issue with seeing someone up to 40 anyway. Well, I'd be on the alert for any sign of the baby-crazies but other than. :pac:

Paddy Cow

Deleted User wrote: »

Nah it happens. Probably not as much as the other way but still. I'm hitting 30 and would have no issue with seeing someone up to 40 anyway. Well, I'd be on the alert for any sign of the baby-crazies but other than. :pac:

That would be the main issues. Do you want kids op? If you do, there's no guarantee that a 30yr old wants them now and they have time on their side. if you don't want kids it's fine for now but he might want them in a few years when it's too late for you.

Give it a go and see what happens. Nothing ventured and all that

Sleeper12

Whatage wrote:

Am I crazy to think guys go for older girls?

Not crazy at all.

The difficulties quite often are who might want children & when. I know that's all down the road but I have seen older women leave men they are obviously in love with because the guy might not want a family in the next few years.

Conservatory

You meet him when he’s out and he sleeps with you but you have no other contact?

I wouldn’t be too worried sounds like he’s not that interested anyway.

LegacyUser

Thanks guys.

I'm not overly pushed about having kids if I'm honest. Even though I'm late 30s, it's not something that is on my radar.

A colleagues kids and relationship came up in conversation one of the nights and listening to him about that and some other things we seem to have the same thoughts on things like that.

From life experience, guys generally do the suggesting/asking out but with him, it's like we flirt, connect, talk for hours, spend the night together and leave on really good terms but he never asks me out or suggests anymore so I take that as a sign he's not interested.

I don't know if I should it should not say anything, I don't want to ruin how well we get in if he has no feelings but I am starting to have real feelings for him.

Is it very obvious to you men when a girl is interested?

LegacyUser

Conservatory wrote: »

You meet him when he’s out and he sleeps with you but you have no other contact?

I wouldn’t be too worried sounds like he’s not that interested anyway.

That does make it sound very straightforward.

Snapchat and Facebook messages sometimes or what's app. Not a huge amount but sometimes.

We worked on a project for a month together. Finished every day at 5 but often stayed talking until 8 or 9 at night before realising the time. The nights were work related nights. There's one more coming up but maybe you are right and I shouldn't let him stay. I don't want to be a notch.

One eyed Jack

Whatage wrote: »

Am I crazy to think guys go for older girls?

Nope, not even a lil bit. More relevant than age in my experience has been similar social status and outlook on life. I can't advise you on whether or not to introduce whatever you want into the conversation. A few posters here have focused on the idea of children, but there's no reason to assume he feels one way or the other about it.

Make the move sooner rather than later though, rather than leaving it weeks and thinking it any potential relationship will happen on it's own.

LegacyUser

One eyed Jack wrote: »

.... idea of children, but there's no reason to assume he feels one way or the other about it.

It was something mentioned in conversation. He does eventually, not just now. I'm not 100% sure I do want children.

Make the move sooner rather than later though, rather than leaving it weeks and thinking it any potential relationship will happen on it's own.

I won't see him for a few weeks. I'd prefer to see if we meet up at the work function and gauge it then.
I have no idea what to say to keep it light so he can say no without feeling awkward. I'm self conscious so the thought of saying something is making me nervous!

Plopsu

Whatage wrote: »

Is it very obvious to you men when a girl is interested?

To some guys yes. To some guys no.
For myself, if I turned up at your door and you answered it naked my first thought would probably be, "Sh*t, I've arrived early and she hasn't had time to get dressed".

LegacyUser

Plopsu wrote: »

To some guys yes. To some guys no.
For myself, if I turned up at your door and you answered it naked my first thought would probably be, "Sh*t, I've arrived early and she hasn't had time to get dressed".

Ha, ha, that's very funny. So how should a girl tell the guy she fancies him/wouldn't mind starting something without it being awkward after if he's not interested in anything more than a drunk one night stand? For all I know he is out every night with a different girl being the same with them as me.
When I'm with him it feels so right, but

Plopsu

Whatage wrote: »

Ha, ha, that's very funny. So how should a girl tell the guy she fancies him/wouldn't mind starting something without it being awkward after if he's not interested in anything more than a drunk one night stand? For all I know he is out every night with a different girl being the same with them as me.
When I'm with him it feels so right, but

Tell him. Along the line of, 'I really enjoy being with you. How come we don't go out more often?'.

s7ryf3925pivug

The oldest girl it is possible to date is 17, which in my view is too young for a 30 year old.

LegacyUser

Plopsu wrote: »

Tell him. Along the line of, 'I really enjoy being with you. How come we don't go out more often?'.

Is that enough to make a guy realise a girl is interested?? Sorry I'm clueless when it comes to this.

Plopsu

Whatage wrote: »

Is that enough to make a guy realise a girl is interested?? Sorry I'm clueless when it comes to this.

I think that would definitely spark a moment of realisation in me (even me).

professore

Whatage wrote: »

Is that enough to make a guy realise a girl is interested?? Sorry I'm clueless when it comes to this.

In my experience, unless a woman said "Do you want to go out with me" or some such direct statement. I would disregard any other signals, as I've had women in the past make such seemingly obvious signals including flirting with me for hours and sitting on my lap in a pub and shifting them and they STILL weren't interested when I asked them out. I'd say many guys have been burned like this and disregard anything women do

I once had a woman walk into my bedroom in her bra and panties and make suggestive remarks and I still didn't think she was coming onto me because I didn't fancy HER. That and she was dating a friend of mine at the time. It was only when she wrote me a long rambling letter (God be with the days) a few weeks later that I realised she was into me.

So the only sure way I found was to ask THEM out. Then they have to either go or not. If your guy isn't asking you out after all that's happened between you then I doubt if he's after anything more serious. I could be wrong though, only way to find out is to ask him.

Kintarō Hattori

Whatage wrote: »

Thanks guys.
Is it very obvious to you men when a girl is interested?

Maybe to some but I know for me, even when it was blindingly obvious I wasn't picking up the hints. Some guys are REALLY REALLY bad at taking the cues and you sometimes have to spell it out for them. In my case, my missus of 14 years literally came knocking on my door. Prior to that I had missed subtle chat-up lines in the supermarket, little notes on my roll from the lady in the deli and one or two more.

professore

Kintarō Hattori wrote: »

Maybe to some but I know for me, even when it was blindingly obvious I wasn't picking up the hints. Some guys are REALLY REALLY bad at taking the cues and you sometimes have to spell it out for them. In my case, my missus of 14 years literally came knocking on my door. Prior to that I had missed subtle chat-up lines in the supermarket, little notes on my roll from the lady in the deli and one or two more.

I've read some other threads where men are asking if a woman is into him with signals like this and women almost unanimously say "no, she's just being friendly". So there you go.

H3llR4iser

Whatage wrote: »

Am I crazy to think guys go for older girls?

Not at all - it does happen, mostly depends on the age someone acts and looks rather than the biological one. There are 35 years olds who look and act like they are 65 and vice-versa.

Also, I've known both men and women who already behaved like retirees in their late 20s - ditching basically anything they liked, from hobbies to sporting activity to clothes, in favour of "sensible" stuff like grandma's shapeless old cardigans, "wine tastings" and doing nothing but watching TV "under the blanket" whenever they weren't at work.

At a general level, single people tend to "stay younger" than those married or otherwise engaged in long term relationships.

I'm the same age as you and in meeting a woman, given she took care of herself and had things in her life to make her "tick", I wouldn't give a passing p1ss if she was 28 or 48 - "baby crazies" aside, as it was eloquently put

Whatage wrote: »

Is it very obvious to you men when a girl is interested?

Absolutely not unless he's young, arrogant, extremely handsome/wealthy or a combination of at least two of these.

Just tell him - most of us are sick to the gills of the "mindgames", especially past the magic 30. One of the attractions of more adult women is, indeed, the fact you expect somebody who's 35 or 40 to have been around the block a few times and know exactly what she wanted...

professore wrote: »

In my experience, unless a woman said "Do you want to go out with me" or some such direct statement. I would disregard any other signals, as I've had women in the past make such seemingly obvious signals including flirting with me for hours and sitting on my lap in a pub and shifting them and they STILL weren't interested when I asked them out. I'd say many guys have been burned like this and disregard anything women do

This is the unfortunate truth - most of us have learned to disregard or at least not overestimate whatever potential signs of interest or appreciation women give us, through having misinterpreted and ended up looking like a total tit a million times

GarIT

A 30 year old guy dating a 38 year old woman wouldn't be strange, at 23 I dated 1 43 year old woman, but she was filthy rich so that influenced it and I might not have otherwise. We got on great probably better than anyone I've ever been with, but she ended things quickly because she "wanted to be able to go out to restaurants without looking like she was with her child". But still, if you are of the same maturity and are compatible there's no harm in it.

On the point of signals, personally I wouldn't get anything unless it was very direct words. Even someone saying "we should spend more time together" to me means they want to be friends.

LegacyUser

If your guy isn't asking you out after all that's happened between you then I doubt if he's after anything more serious.

I think this point is very much the case. I have read (and laughed) at some of the posts and it's really good to hear guys say to tell ye, I would have thought guys weren't interested in the past but maybe I should have said something to one or two after reading that.

I do think he would instigate more contact or ask me out if he was interested. He is quite a shy guy meeting new people but we talk about everything and for me it feels so right when I'm with him, he's not shy when it comes to making a move when he is drunk!

The work night is mid August so I have a few weeks to think about it! I know if I saw a picture of him with some other girl on social media I would be gutted so hopefully there won't be anything until then!

GarIT

Whatage wrote: »

I do think he would instigate more contact or ask me out if he was interested.

He possibly wouldn't. I and probably many other guys have been in situations where they were just having sex with someone and wanted something more, and once you say you're interested in something more they say they don't want to have sex any more because they are worried you will "catch feelings" like it's an illness they need to avoid. If you tell a fwb that you are interested in more than just that there is a chance she will cut contact so sometimes it's better to say nothing.

LegacyUser

I'll never understand men GarlT lol.

That's how I feel now, if I say something it might ruin how well we do get on. I go between wanting to say something but then not wanting to ruin what is there if he doesn't feel the same.

PlaneSpeeking

I've known couples "perfect" in age and it's gone down the pan.

My best mate met his Mrs when she was 20 and he 32. Not a massive difference but they wanted the same things - home, marriage, kids.

Ten years on, still blissfully happy. Age is just a number - the poster who said traits are more important - kudos sir.

LegacyUser

PlaneSpeeking wrote: »

Age is just a number - the poster who said traits are more important - kudos sir.

So true & I now agree. It's lovely to hear so many positive messages, I really expected guys to say no chance.

It's for the first time in my life I want to know if a guy is really interested in something with me, not just casual & the fear that if he says no, I know I'll hate the rejection.

Wibbs

Whatage, apologies for my tardiness in approving your posts. I'm not around so much at the moment.

LegacyUser

Wibbs wrote: »

Whatage, apologies for my tardiness in approving your posts. I'm not around so much at the moment.

No problem 😀