Signing off cards - am I supposed to include Fiance??

sweeneed

Curious on people’s take on this one!

It’s my mam’s birthday and I bought a ‘to mother’ type card. I asked my fiancé did she want me to pick her up one too. She was offended that I wasn’t signing off the same card from both of us as she always includes me on hers. I feel that my relationship with Mother and father is unique and my own and prefer to personally send them my card. I’ve no problem with her writing her own message on the same card like. I don’t want my parents feeling like they’ve lost their son type of thing either – as in ive given them cards and presents from me for the past 30 years. This may seem ridiculous and it does to me but I can see why maybe it feels like im excluding her when asking to marry means including them in the family. To put into context, my family are quite sentimental with cards and that and I don’t think hers are to the same extent. She thinks we’re a bit mad with our jokes and riddles in cards! Thoughts??

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

You’re over thinking it.

jam_mac_jam

I think you are a bit weird but do what you want to do not what is expected. I generally just include myself to my parents but my other half wouldn't really notice!

judeboy101

Wives come and go, but your mother is yours alone.

sweeneed

ah look im not over thinking. its something i never considered that seemed to cause a bit of a row today and im just curious on general opinions. its not that important really.....

theyoungchap

Just sign off the card "Lots of love, John and Mary". Job.done.

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

Wheety

Tell her to get her own. And her own presents too. When you go to visit your parents, tell she can't go with you and should really make her own visits. If you have kids, don't buy presents for them together. Go out and buy your own. Tell her she should buy her own too. Cards should be kept separate too. Make sure you don't have joint accounts. Buy a house for yourself and tell her to get her own. Just because you're getting married doesn't mean you should share anything.

The Princess Bride

It'd be a no for me.
Totally different if it's a generic "Happy Birthday" card.
I wouldn't have an issue with them signing that.

But not a specific "To Mother" card.

I wouldn't include himself in my cards to my mum

pickarooney

The Princess Bride wrote: »

It'd be a no for me.
Totally different if it's a generic "Happy Birthday" card.
I wouldn't have an issue with them signing that.

But not a specific "To Mother" card.

Is everyone else thinking of Buster Bluth?

frag420

Do you send your folks separate wedding anniversary cards too?

Just let your fiancé sign the card and be done with it!

_Kaiser_

I'm not a big card person anyway so maybe I'm the wrong person to be commenting, but it sounds like you're definitely overthinking it OP and maybe even looking at the priorities wrong.

It's great that you're still so close to your parents and all, but you've asked this person to marry you. In my mind anyway that means they (and you) come FIRST.. before any other family/relatives. I'm not saying you live in each other's pockets or cut off your family as a result, but your partner's feelings and opinions should carry more weight IMO.

But that's just me.. I've never really understood people who grow up but never really leave home.

sweeneed

ah well their marriagen ended many many years ago. maybe that's why I feel I have this one to one rship with them..... just acting the psychologist here!

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

frag420

My bad OP, was being a bit of a smart ass with my comment, obviously didn't know your folks had split up!

frag420 wrote: »

Do you send your folks separate wedding anniversary cards too?

Just let your fiancign the card and be done with it!

sweeneed wrote: »

ah well their marriagen ended many many years ago. maybe that's why I feel I have this one to one rship with them..... just acting the psychologist here!

_Kaiser_

_Kaiser_ wrote: »

I'm not a big card person anyway so maybe I'm the wrong person to be commenting, but it sounds like you're definitely overthinking it OP and maybe even looking at the priorities wrong.

It's great that you're still so close to your parents and all, but you've asked this person to marry you. In my mind anyway that means they (and you) come FIRST.. before any other family/relatives. I'm not saying you live in each other's pockets or cut off your family as a result, but your partner's feelings and opinions should carry more weight IMO.

But that's just me.. I've never really understood people who grow up but never really leave home.

In terms of actual decisions or priorities sure but for a card??

Boom_Bap

Who gives cards these days.
I just chest bump and high 5 my mam for her birthday, the missus can choose to do the same if she wants.

ShooterSF

theyoungchap wrote: »

Just sign off the card "Lots of love, John and Mary". Job.done.

Ops mom:
"Who the hell are John and Mary?"

ShooterSF

Boom_Bap wrote: »

Who gives cards these days.
I just chest bump and high 5 my mam for her birthday, the missus can choose to do the same if she wants.

I just post on Facebook. On my page. Don't even tag.

_Kaiser_

bluewolf wrote: »

In terms of actual decisions or priorities sure but for a card??

A card is pretty minor in the scheme of things sure, but the same principle holds IMO.

Boom_Bap

ShooterSF wrote: »

I just post on Facebook. On my page. Don't even tag.

Your mom isn't even on FB