To Visit Friend Or Not?

kat20

Hi,

I am due to visit my friend this day 2 weeks in Chicago where I was to stay with her and we could catch up and do sightseeing together.

She has just told me that she got fired from her job and straight away she said she was freaking out and not sure how she was going to pay her bills and be able to do things with me. She lives in a apartment by herself so has to worry about paying the rent by herself.

I immediately asked her was it ok if I still came or did she want me to come at another time. She said it was fine and she would figure something out.

I just feel quite guilty as it is a tough situation she is in and I don't want to make it harder for her by her worrying about spending her money by doing things with me but then if I say to her I can do things on my own and she doesn't have to spend money I'd be leaving her stay in her apartment on her own while I'm gone.
She is a very dramatic person so feel I could be possibly spend most of the time reassuring her things will work out as she doesn't have a proper support system of family and friends.

I just don't know whether I should still go and try and make the most of it or say to her I would feel too guilty putting this pressure on her of me coming and her worrying about spending her money.

I would really appreciate any advice on this as this is a tricky situation.

facehugger99

Er, if you're worried about her spending her money going out sightseeing with you, would you not offer to pay for her?

Seeing as she's lost her job

and because she's letting you stay in her apartment.

WIZWEB

I lived in Chicago for a time almost a decade ago. I've been back since recently. You could offer her some 'rent' if you have it spare for your break to relieve your/her stress for your stay. Maybe provide some food over time there and drink and offer to cook. I was unfortunate that the first place I lived in had a lot of drama. My second visit I stayed with a genuine but controlling friend and her partner (he I had never met before and even though I am a gay bloke he was weird about me and her at first. He grew on me though so all good in the end) but I often 'last minute' would inform them that I had booked a day away/trip to other city etc so would see them later. Only because they preferred sitting in most nights after trying to invite (pay for) them out and they assumed I would stay in almost every evening there. One reason to give myself some space and play tourist and the other to give them some space over my ten days trip. They got used to it! I was on a very low budget both visits so will give you some cheap suggestions in case you feel you need to take your friend along, are on a budget to escape her or she refuses to show you around due to her circumstances. I discovered loads to get me out of my stressful situation the first visit or alone/combined as ideas the second. There's loads to do for free or affordable.

The CTA if buying weekly tickets etc is fairly affordable, efficient and fast. Blue (airport) and red line runs 24/7. There used to be a free monthly day for museums/planetarium etc but that might be confined to locals now. Lots of bars have various night specials like dollar drinks (though remember to tip). Boystown (LGBT area) has promotions somewhere nearly every night. Cheap nights in too with few beers etc. Some great local brewery's or massive bottles of spirits for a pittance compared to Irish prices. If she has a Costco membership (or consider buying her one) you can do a grocery shop very cheaply. You got to try Chicago Pizza Pie. Will feed you both for days! Lake has free beaches too. Chinatown down south is very affordable. Certain cinemas and theatres have really cheap specific nights during the week. Lots of fast food joints are very cheap too if not counting calories. Lots of festivals too and farmers markets. Also Groupon etc operates there so you can get 2 for 1 deals, activities etc. I even took up several free daily gym memberships to escape my situation! Lots had great pools too. Even the Opera though random has some really cheap tickets for a few dollars if booked in advance.

Megabus.com like they have in the UK exists and you can get tickets to nearby places like Milwaukee (Miller brewery tour was fun and free). Has/Had Harley Davidson museum but didn't have time. Bus tickets only a few dollars if bought in advance. I even got to see St. Louis and Memphis and did the Elvis tour for cheap when booked in advance (wasn't a fan prior). AirBNB can be affordable if you need to escape your friend for a few days. Remember if you book something in advance even alone there's a little obligation on your dramatical friend to either come along (might be good for her) or leave you alone to go if uninvited. Hopefully she's calmed down again you arrive and I do empathise that her current circumstances must be stressful for lots of reasons.

Airyfairy12

Youre saving money on accommodation, can you not throw her a few quid and maybe buy some groceries while youre there? Do you have to go to all the sights? there must be free things to do in Chicago, especially this time of year. She probably needs a friend right now so maybe you could help her with her problem? talk it through, maybe spend half a day job hunting with her or helping her make up a cv. Not an ideal way to spend a holiday but youre there to see your friend and its only a few hours out of your day. You could buy lunch the odd day too.