Were your parents strict or lenient with you and alcohol?

nigel_wilson

Both underage and when you were of age.

Mint Sauce

My parents, and cousins parents (in London) were all pretty open about it. Family events, as a teenager, the boys were always offered a bottle of beer, and the girls a glass of wine all within moderation, compared to Irish cousins, whose parents would shudder at the thought.

Beat going out, to try for your self, in the company of friends in a feild, who may not always look out for you.

troyzer

When I was around 16 it started when my Dad would offer me a few beers on holiday. After that, he'd help me out when I was going to house parties and such. He knew I wasn't a massive gombeen though so it wasn't an issue.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

They were fine, but then they didn't know about much of it...

Shenshen

Very liberal, compared to what I hear from Irish friends. I don't actually remember the first time I was allowed to drink - I remember sipping the foam of my mother's beer in a beergarden when I was very little.

That said, I had not seen a drunken adult until I was well into my 20s. Drinking was something to be enjoyed, not something anyone I knew did to get drunk.
It's just a very different culture.

Cina

I can't remember, I was too drunk.

Speedsie

My parents were fairly liberal, wine with Sunday lunch, occasional glass of cider or beer during the teenage years. Neither my siblings nor I are big drinkers as a result. Nor do we smoke or take other substances

Compared with my cousins, their parents were extremely strict, and kept telling my parents that we would end up alcoholics. We didn't, but my cousins have all battled with alcohol and other substance abuse in their 20s, 30s and 40s.

Cee-Jay-Cee

My parents were fairly liberal, I took my first drink when I was 16 and my dad was ok with it. I don't drink much now, the very odd glass of wine and I'd go out maybe twice a year and have a handful of beers.

My best friends parents were ridiculously strict with him and his brothers/sisters in relation to alcohol, school, homework, staying up late, everything in fact and that didn't work out too well for 3 out of the 5 who now have alcohol issues as well as mental health problems. I cant but help that their very strict upbringing caused them to rebel when they left home and over do it.

nigel_wilson

Cee-Jay-Cee wrote: »

My best friends parents were ridiculously strict with him and his brothers/sisters in relation to alcohol, school, homework, staying up late, everything in fact and that didn't work out too well for 3 out of the 5 who now have alcohol issues as well as mental health problems. I cant but help that their very strict upbringing caused them to rebel when they left home and over do it.

Learning moderation is probably important. Funny you say that they have issues, it's quite paradoxical that parents who offer "tough love" have kids that turn out with drug problems as opposed to parents who teach their kids to use it responsibly.

circadian

From 16 onwards drinking in pubs or at friends parties was grand. If I was caught knacker drinking or coming in hammered then words were had.

Moderation in a safe enough environment was the message. They didn't know about all the weed I smoked though, at least I think they didn't!

Riddle101

My mother was strict on alcohol. I wasn't allowed to drink until I was 18 and even then I think she'd rather the drinking age be 21 instead. My father was fairly relaxed about it although he never encouraged it either, but he was/is a lot easier to deal with then my mam.

silverharp

it was easy to fool them in fairness, "staying at a friends" , or drinking early, go to local disco sober up by midnight and home at 2am when everyone is asleep.
In theory it should be a bit more difficult now, in our case we would have most of the mobile numbers of our kids friends parents and parents tend to be a bit more helicopterish these days.

miezekatze

Very lenient. I'm not from Ireland and from a very rural area btw. I would've tasted a bit of my dad's beer when I was a child (hated it though), and had my first drink probably around 13 or 14 years old. My parents were fine with this. I've never been a big drinker though so there was no need for them to be worried about me getting drunk or anything.

banie01

From about the time I was 12 my Mother was very open about alcohol and its effects on not just the drinker but those around them.
My family has its fair share of alcohol issues in my Mother's generation and she took the view that it was better to be open, to be moderate but above all to be aware of the long term effects of alcohol indulgence and how easy it is to abuse it.

I started doing door work not long before my 15th birthday and TBH the grounding I had with alcohol went a long way towards making my job easier than it could of been. Be it dealing with just plain drunks or the hordes of underage drinkers that were rampant in the early 90's

I never really did bush drinking as TBH I was getting served everywhere at 14. My mother was of the opinion that if I was going to drink, it was hard to stop and better for me if it was in a pub or a club with some degree of supervision and it's a practice I continue with my own kid.

The weird thing about how my mother approached alcohol is how it's shaped my attitude towards Nature Vs Nurture.
My mother had 8 kids, me being the eldest.
Of the 8, one developed serious alcohol and substance abuse problems.
Yet they were the one that every Irish family of a certain size would would describe as the golden child.
We didn't have an Xmas tree, rather golden child would stand in the corner, pull down their pants and we would all bask in the sunlight that glowed out their arse

Seriously tho, each and every time they fell her priority was him, the kids younger than him had a poorer relationship with our mother because she spent so much of her time chasing him and trying to fix his issues.
Funnily enough, without our Father playing much part in his life apart from conception
He managed to become quite like him in the end, even to being estranged from his own children and repeating patterns of behaviour as a parent, that he never encountered as a child.

All because of a need for instant gratification and choosing that, rather than being a product of his environment.

TLDR; Alcohol and other substances need to be respected, teaching that respect isn't a copy and paste exercise.
What works for one child/person or group won't work for all.
The important thing IMHO tho is ensuring that whatever choices the person makes, they are aware that addiction or binges do not absolve an addict of responsibility.
As you can probably tell I do not subscribe to the disease theory of addiction

OldMrBrennan83

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TerrorFirmer

Parents weren't strict at all, wasn't ever really spoken about but they didn't mind me coming home after a few cans as long as I had my wits about me. Was never a big drinker until I turned 21 though (neither was my sister) so it was never really an issue for them.

Malayalam

I got the ''over my dead body'' lecture through gritted teeth on a weekly basis, and I was so terrified to drink that even my friends had to hide their boozing behind my back. That was in the long ago when mothers still had the occult power to chill a heart.

r93kaey5p2izun

They were quite relaxed about it. Neither are big drinkers and never go to the pub but would have had a glass of wine with dinner some weekends and the very occasional can of Guinness or Smithwicks. We were allowed taste wine and beer fairly young and offered a small taste of wine with Sunday dinners from around 12/13. We were allowed have a beer at family functions once we were 15 or so. No problems with having a few drinks and going to pubs from 16/17 but drunkenness was definitely frowned upon.

I still went drinking with my friends from around 15, lied to my parents, binge drank regularly, drank to get drunk all through college. My brother the same only worse. I settled down to sensible drinking in my mid 20s. I don't drink at all now.

I see no difference between my behaviour with alcohol and those who had strict parents nor tbose who had ridiculously permissive parents. The vast majority, nearly everyone I knew in school and college, bing drank and drank to get drunk during teens and early 20s.

Rows Grower

Both my parents enjoyed a drink once or twice a week since I can remember and both still do on daily basis now and are in their mid eighties.

Like one of the early posters mentioned it was a different culture back then and people drank to socialize and it was very rare to see a drunk person.

When I was young we were lucky enough that my dad had a car so any chance we got my mam would have him pack all 9 of us and the dog into the Anglia/Escort/ and off we'd head for the beach. Back then there was no such thing as drink driving, speed limits, safety belts and everyone stopped for a pint or two to break the journey, my dad would always offer all of us a sup of his pint of stout and I was always the one who never refused. To this day they still laugh thinking about how I used to try act innocent and then gulp down as much as I could before my dad would say "Jesus Christ, that's enough. We'll have to watch this fella!"

They were amazed that I liked the taste so much, but I suppose not many under the age of 5 were fond of an old sup. There's a lot of water gone under the bridge since then and I still enjoy a drink, I'm no Paddy Losty but I hope to be some day with a bit more practice.