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Mother of my child is cheating on me, not sure how to proceed

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  • 29-06-2018 11:59pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi

    My GF and mother of my little boy is cheating on me, she has been doing for 4/5 months (if not longer). I did accuse her of it before but she denied it and I backed down (I made a mess of the situation)

    It has been going on since and I've dealt with it for the sake of the boy

    My issue is, I'm terrified that if I end it, she could make my life hell with regards to seeing my little fella. I've also moved up the country to be with her and we're paying a fairly heftyrental cost, so I can't afford to move out and I don't really want to move away from him. (and I don't want him to lose his current house)

    She has a horrendous temper and she is a blatant lier and manipulative, so I'm also concerned she will make my life a hell if we break up.

    I feel completely trapped and have no idea what to do.

    I'm away from my friends and family, I've a very demanding job and it can be tough but my little fella keeps me going and if I was stopped from seeing him, I'd crumble.


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    #2
    professore
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,857 ✭✭✭professore


    Speak to a solicitor. They can advise you better than anyone on here can.

    You need to get out of this toxic relationship OP.


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    #3
    heretothere
    Registered Users Posts: 619 ✭✭✭heretothere


    Your situation sounds awful!

    Yes speak to a solicitor. You never know she might agree to let you have full custody.

    You can't let her go on cheating on you and making your life miserable


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    #4
    nikkibikki
    Registered Users Posts: 1,226 ✭✭✭nikkibikki


    Are you his official guardian? Named on his birth cert? There is an organisation who should be able to help you. I think they are called Treoir.


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    #5
    Lux23
    Registered Users Posts: 7,134 ✭✭✭Lux23


    I think you need to speak to a solicitor and make plans to leave. I don't think you will gain anything by asking her to admit cheating, she will only turn it around on you and you will feel crap again. I'm sorry, OP.


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    #6
    punisher5112
    Registered Users Posts: 24,647 ✭✭✭✭punisher5112


    Keep records of anything and proof of the cheating if possible.

    Very sad for you and the child.

    As above get onto a family law solicitor and be prepared for a fight to get visitation etc.


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    #7
    WIZWEB
    Registered Users Posts: 521 ✭✭✭WIZWEB


    See a solicitor as suggested. It's always in a child's best interest to have all caregivers involved so you will have a good case. Just keep it amicable and do what you need to in order to prevent her putting you in provocative situations.

    I'm sorry for your situation but you do need to stop being a doormat. You need to leave this relationship for your own sanity. Any agreed maintenance for your child will go towards ensuring you get regular contact. You may or may not want to consider a paternity test.


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    #8
    Conservatory
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,194 ✭✭✭Conservatory


    Make sure when you move out, you pay something in maintenance for the baby. The judge will grant you rights a lot easier if you can prove you still have the best interests of the child at heart. Also no violence or losing the head.


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