Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Dealing with a bully/unpleasant person

  • 27-06-2018 10:50am
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,117
    ✭✭✭


    I am currently working with a very unpleasant girl, she has a horrible attitude, makes me feel excluded, and ignores me when I speak to her. She is very intimidating in how she behaves (body language, tone etc) and it’s causing me to feel very upset. I’ve seen her talk to people and look over at me and maybe I’m being paranoid but I feel she’s talking about me. I was bullied as a child in school and she really reminds me of that time in my life which is stirring up some negative emotions. Any tips on how to deal with this? What’s happening is so subtle that I can’t even call her out on it (not that I would as she is very intimidating). So I’m looking for ways to help myself through it. Thanks.


Welcome!

It looks like you're new here. Sign in or register to get started.

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,062 Dixie Chick
    ✭✭✭


    I am sorry to hear this, I also was bullied and would actually find that very hard. As you say, it is the subtleness of it, the craft of being a bully. Do you have any friends in your work place or a higher up you could speak to ?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,208 Batgurl
    ✭✭✭


    Hi OP

    I’m not a medical professional but it sounds like you have anxiety or unresolved issues from the bullying you experienced as a child so I would recommend you seek professional help to work through these.

    We are always going to come across people in work (and in life) that we don’t like and who don’t like us but that doesn’t make it bullying. It’s perfectly ok and normal not to like everyone. You say that you can’t pinpoint specific instances of bullying and you “think” this person is talking about you but if you escalate this to a manager now, they will honestly question whether it’s all in your head.

    Seek help for your issues, take a note of any tangible bullying you can and only then, bring it to the attention of management.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,057 .......
    ✭✭✭


    This post has been deleted.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 LegacyUser
    ✭✭✭✭


    If you can afford it, I recommend counselling. I was bullied in school when I was a child and have never felt I was good enough. It happened to me again when I worked in another workplace. Ironically, the bully was someone junior to me but that doesn't matter when they make you feel so small. Being told to ignore the bully doesn't work when you've been scarred by their behaviour and you have self-esteem issues anyway. HR were useless in my company so going to them was off the table.

    I went for counselling and it was really helpful. The counsellor gave me tools to deal with the bully and they helped a lot. I'm not going to claim it was a magic cure and that everything worked wonderfully after that. Things definitely got a lot better and easier for me. It was well worth doing and that's what I'm advising you to try. Chin up. I hope it gets better.


Welcome!

It looks like you're new here. Sign in or register to get started.
Advertisement