Taking sick leave for mental health

Baby01032012

Hi,

My marriage is coming to an end which is taking its toll and I’m not coping very well. I’m seeing a physcologist on a weekly basis. He thinks I need to take time out for myself for the next few days just to give myself time to take it in and deal with it in my own head without having work on top of it. He suggested going to GP tomorrow and getting certified maybe until end of week.

My question is how much should I tell work about my problems? And should I take annual leave rather than being certified sick. I’m 7 months into 18 month contract, they tend to pay sick leave. I really like this job and don’t want to loose that too. I feel a bit guilty about taking time off but for my own mental state I think I need it. I’ve 2 weeks annual leave coming up in middle of July, but this has come to a head now and I’m struggling emotionally with my marriage breaking up and our kids and where I’ll live and loosing my life that I’ve built up etc.

OMM 0000

It really depends on your manager.

I suffer from anxiety sometimes, so I'm very sensitive about mental health issues, so if someone on my team approached me about needing time off for mental health related problems, I'd be extremely compassionate.

But Ireland is still a small minded country.

Do you think your manager would be open to you telling the truth?

Baby01032012

OMM 0000 wrote: »

It really depends on your manager.

I suffer from anxiety sometimes, so I'm very sensitive about mental health issues, so if someone on my team approached me about needing time off for mental health related problems, I'd be extremely compassionate.

But Ireland is still a small minded country.

Do you think your manager would be open to you telling the truth?

I don’t know. We’re not close. Don’t really have a relationship. I report into him in name only. I manage my own work along with 2 colleagues at same level. I’ll talk to GP tomorrow.

RacoonQueen

You aren't under any obligation to tell anyone what your illness that you're signed off for is. Take the time you need.

tinofapples

Get a cert from your GP, you don't need to disclose the reason.

OMM 0000

I don't really agree with the "don't tell your employer the illness" post, as you can be fired for being sick. It is not illegal to fire someone for being sick. So if you're going to need a lot of time off, I think it could be better to have a heart to heart with your employer. But of course, this would be pointless if your employer is heartless or doesn't understand mental illness.

skallywag

I would also agree that being honest and open about this topic with your employer is the best way forward. Any employer I know at least would be fully sympathetic to your situation, and can be trusted to keep your issue confidential. Only you can judge the situation with your own company though.

The stigma concerning mental health issues and the workplace is quickly becoming a thing of the past, at least, again, in my own experience.

Sir Ophiuchus

If a GP is willing to certify you for sick leave, then in their medical opinion you're legitimately unwell and need the time to recover. Their medical opinion is all that matters. An employer doesn't need to know why you're on sick leave, especially if it's certified sick leave.

If you're looking at being out for a week, that's probably fine. As others have said, for a long period of leave you might need to loop your employer in. For a once off, personally, I'd advise not telling them.

Foweva Awone

Umm the GP has to write on the cert the nature of the illness.

Some might (if requested) write something ambiguous, but that's at their own discretion.

So it's misleading to advise that the employer won't be told the nature of the illness.

Sir Ophiuchus

That's true. In my employer at least, medical certs go directly to HR and aren't seen by your manager, and I'd be surprised if a GP wouldn't be ambiguous on the cert to avoid a risk of victimisation of someone with mental health issues, but these are valid concerns.

maccored

I've been through this very thing two years ago. I stayed at work until I got up on one morning and promptly collapsed while brushing my teeth and didn't come to for hours. As a result I went to the GP I didn't go back to work for two months. The doc put down that I was 'unfit for work', as no-one at work needed to know any more than that. Don't underestimate the effect it's going to have on you

secondrowgal

OP, I'm sorry that you are going through a hard time. Stick with it, it'll get better!

I understand the anxiety about having to tell an employer this kind of personal information. I am on the other side - I am an employer and over the years I have had staff members come to me about marriage break-ups, family feuds that went to court, bullying (outside of work but took its toll), and of course maternity leave. Even with the latter, I am always cognisant of the fact that the person has to tell a relative stranger about their most intimate and private matters. With maternity for instance, I am often the fourth person to know - the expectant mother, the father and the doctor then me! For anybody in a managerial position I can practically guarantee that they will have had to deal with other staff members personal issues before. I hope that they deal with it correctly, but you have to do what is right for you. As an employer, I would be (and have been) more than happy to be able to facilitate a person taking leave if it means that they come back and can do their job to the best of their ability. Working while sick or under such a level of stress is no good for you and no good for the business.

Go to your doctor. Get signed off. Take your time to get yourself together in every way and come back when you are ready, fit, and ready to go.

The very best of luck to you. There is a light at the end of every tunnel.

Baby01032012

Thanks for all the replies. Much appreciated. I have felt guilty being off. I spoke to and emailed employer to let them know that I’ll be off and I told them I’m available to take questions on work while I’m off. I rang colleagues about specific work and left them my mobile.
GP had no problem signing me off with a virus until Monday. Apart from guilt, The time off has been good, to clear my head, put life into perspective,to talk to my wife etc.
Next week is a busy time in work and I’ve no doubt I’ll be putting in enough extra hours to cover days I’ve lost this week.

OMM 0000

Baby01032012, how's your day going?

davo10

Foweva Awone wrote: »

Umm the GP has to write on the cert the nature of the illness.

Some might (if requested) write something ambiguous, but that's at their own discretion.

So it's misleading to advise that the employer won't be told the nature of the illness.

This is absolutely incorrect. The employee's GP does not need to specify the illness, only that their patient is unwell and unable to attend for work. Patient confidentiality is sacrosanct and cannot be overridden by an employers request for medical information, the GP will provide info only with the consent of the patient, if the patient/employee does not consent, then it is omitted from the cert. The employer can request info for H&S when the employee returns to work, but again the employee can refuse it, but at their own risk.

dragonfly!

davo10 wrote: »

This is absolutely incorrect. The employee's GP does not need to specify the illness, only that their patient is unwell and unable to attend for work. Patient confidentiality is sacrosanct and cannot be overridden by an employers request for medical information, the GP will provide info only with the consent of the patient, if the patient/employee does not consent, then it is omitted from the cert. The employer can request info for H&S when the employee returns to work, but again the employee can refuse it, but at their own risk.

Yep i've has certs come into me in work with "illness" written as the reason on them

dragonfly!

I hope things are going a bit better for you OP
Make sure you take care of yourself

FrStone

Foweva Awone wrote: »

Umm the GP has to write on the cert the nature of the illness.

Some might (if requested) write something ambiguous, but that's at their own discretion.

So it's misleading to advise that the employer won't be told the nature of the illness.

That's completely incorrect, a GP will not disclose your illness if you ask them not.

I've seen a significant amount of certs, where the reason for absence is put in as 'medical illness'.

Baby01032012

OP here. Sorry for delay. All well with me.

I’m back in work since Monday. My colleagues aren’t talking to me which I guess is due to my sick leave.

I’m going on holidays for 2 weeks from next Wednesday so working long hours to try and cover time I’ll be off. Not nice when no air con in work in evenings haha

Anyway I’m doing ok. My wife is letting me stay for now as psychologist told her I need her support. Will see what happens then, maybe there is hope.

Sir Ophiuchus

Baby01032012 wrote: »

OP here. Sorry for delay. All well with me.

I’m back in work since Monday. My colleagues aren’t talking to me which I guess is due to my sick leave.

Jesus, sounds like an awfully toxic place.

Good luck sorting stuff out OP, hope things go better for you.

PlaneSpeeking

Baby01032012 wrote: »

OP here. Sorry for delay. All well with me.

I’m back in work since Monday. My colleagues aren’t talking to me which I guess is due to my sick leave.

I’m going on holidays for 2 weeks from next Wednesday so working long hours to try and cover time I’ll be off. Not nice when no air con in work in evenings haha

Anyway I’m doing ok. My wife is letting me stay for now as psychologist told her I need her support. Will see what happens then, maybe there is hope.

Wow that is truly horrible to hear!

I had a month off on leave with stress a few years ago - comment ranged from "nice timing" to "wish I could have a month off".

My GP told me my blood pressure was higher than patients she'd seen having a heart attack or aneurysm.

If I'd had a broken leg, or food poisoning - I imagine I'd be grand but a mental health issue and everyone treats it like a joke, or worse.

I wish you continuing good health.

1hnr79jr65

Baby01032012, truely feel for you dude, ive had some issues to deal with from work, stress, health both physical and mental and luckily work were kind enough to support as i disclosed nature of issue with them and even offered support with counsellor/psychologist. It can be a risk divulging but sometimes taking that risk can be worth it. You more than anyone will know if it is the right thing based on your company.

One thing i could offer as a way to help you deal with your current challenges (dont like using word issues) is to write letters to yourself and seal them in an envelope. Spelling doesnt have to be right, no need to be tidy, write with your heart then lock those letters away. This is one piece of advice i was afforded and it really helped me, it may or may not suit you.

For me though when i started to get around to a good place in my mind i burned all those letters at the same time to purge the bad stuff from my life. Maybe try that if you are up for it and hang in there dude.

Bredabe

Foweva Awone wrote: »

Umm the GP has to write on the cert the nature of the illness.

Some might (if requested) write something ambiguous, but that's at their own discretion.

So it's misleading to advise that the employer won't be told the nature of the illness.

If a patient is going to be out for longer than more than a specific amount of time(5 days I think) dr has to write an illness on the cert.

In a situation where I was certified for almost 4 weeks(earlier this year), I was told that even if my employer/college rang demanding details Dr cannot disclose them, most they can say is 'x was here on that date'

dragonfly!

Baby01032012 wrote: »

OP here. Sorry for delay. All well with me.

I’m back in work since Monday. My colleagues aren’t talking to me which I guess is due to my sick leave.
.

:eek: That sounds like an awful place to work
maybe have a look around at other options when you are back from holidays

Baby01032012

Think I will.

Just leaving work now. Been working late every evening to cover the 2 weeks I’m off. Yet they are unhappy that there is other work I won’t get to even though that work is not yet ready to be done anyway.

Had to arrange meeting with colleagues and senior manager in case work wouldn’t get done. It got a bit heated and I lost cool a little.

To be fair to them they have huge amount of work on too. It’s not their fault.

PlaneSpeeking

Baby01032012 wrote: »

Think I will.

Just leaving work now. Been working late every evening to cover the 2 weeks I’m off. Yet they are unhappy that there is other work I won’t get to even though that work is not yet ready to be done anyway.

Had to arrange meeting with colleagues and senior manager in case work wouldn’t get done. It got a bit heated and I lost cool a little.

To be fair to them they have huge amount of work on too. It’s not their fault.

Yet I guarantee you take 9 months off to breed little Kayden and they fall over themselves to chip in. Suffer a completely unforeseen and critical mental health crisis and you are persona non grata in their eyes.

Of the four weeks I was off, someone had a three week honeymoon. They loved her and covered her work!!!

doolox

I would not be compensating for earned time off by working longer hours during my working weeks unless I got overtime payments for those extra hours.

The fact that colleagues are not talking to you since finding out about your time off is appalling.

I once had an episode of burn out and anxiety due to bullying by another colleague and had to take two weeks off. The doctor did not hesitate to write up two weeks due to my distressed state and hunted look on my visit to the doctor.

I took voluntary redundancy 6 months later from the job. Two years later I was diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome which is a form of autism and went a long way explaining my lack of progress at work, lack of social skills and reading agendas and lack of ability to navigate office and workplace politics.

I would strongly advise cutting back on the workload, unless you are getting paid overtime for the extra work you are being exploited and used by the company and this could be affecting your personal relationships. The fact that the other employees won't talk to you seems to suggest a hostile, exploitative workplace where everyone is being overworked and proper coverage and provision for holidays and sick days is not being made. You need to step back and analyse the workloads of your peers in your workplace. More importantly you need to examine the workloads and demands in similar workplaces in competing companies.

I would suggest that you spend the time away from work in writing down clearly everything about your work-life, what motivates you, what your financial obligations are and how you might be able to move to a more beneficial work-place.

It might happen that you may not be able to move from your existing workplace but you may have at adopt a more survivalist approach to working there. You may have to learn to say "no" more often when unreasonable demands are made on your precious time. You may even have accept lower pay for shorter hours in order to keep your health and sanity from going under.

I recall a colleague who had physical health problems and was on a shorter working week than her peers, at a reduced salary. Every year she had to fight to maintain her part-time status and it was a source of resentment to her colleagues, in spite of her getting pro rata less pay. She took the first opportunity to leave the company when redundancies were offered.

charman

Confidentiality. Mental health is an unseen broken bone. There is no plaster Paris or crutches. Take that time off work.